I can’t cope

oh no sorry to hear you're feeling really low right now @Captain24 i know things haven't been going your way recently, please do be kind to yourself, we're sitting with you - sending some positive energy your way 💜

that nurse sounds lovely, i'm really glad you've got her to check-in on you!

It’s just too hard @tyme

The nurse said with all the med changes this week will be the hardest.

That sounds like a difficult situation.

Thanks @rav3n I need all the positive energy I can get. I don’t have any at all in myself.

Yeah. I know what you mean about this being the hardest. Totally get it. I'm glad you've got their support where you are. @Captain24

I’m so down and out that I can’t function.

Now on top of everything I have severe back pain. When will it ever end? Do I deserve this? What did I ever do that was so bad that I have to suffer so deeply.

Back pain? Oh dear. Blame it on the lovely plastic hospital mattresses @Captain24 ?

Lol. Only joking. Sorry, I’m in a jokey mood today.

Did I tell you my sister’s family is here? The kids are cute.

I think it’s the walking up hill and stuff @tyme but I agree.. I don’t think the plastic mattress is helping.

They have given me script only pain killers.

Im glad you are in such a good jokey mood. That’ll be fun with them all.

Im happy for you that you have them all together. As much as I'm sure it a handful I'm hoping that its a joyous and fun time.

The pain relief is working and I was able to go to the gym and do my physio exercises. That’s something I guess. I’m suppose to go down to the beach but it feels too hard. I’m really trying to do things to help myself but there is only so much I can manage.

I think I've asked you in the past, but is there something you can do with your back? Like long term options? Surgery etc? It seems like when it flares up, it really stops you from living. Back pain is the WORST!!!! I remember when I had to crawl to the door to get something. Every movement was painful @Captain24

Is it better you walk on even surfaces?

For me, I think I need to walk more in general and that will help my back...

Is it like a pinch in your back?

Reducing weight is what I need @tyme. Thats not the ED talking. I also need to be more active which will also help.

Without the extra pain meds I couldn’t stand up straight. Even surfaces are so much better but there isn’t any around here.

It’s a deep pain that is always there. But it does grab occasionally. It is isolated to my Bach and not running down my sciatic nerve at the moment so I’m trying to contain it.

Im hoping the pain meds are continual and not just a once off. The extra drug is making me a little tired though.