I can’t cope

I saw my new psych yesterday @tyme.

I was really nervous and she said she was too. She said she always gets that way when it’s someone from group. We mainly did the whole confidentiality, when she keeps it and when she needs to break it.

We put down my bestie as my emergency contact. She refused to use mum. We talked about it being a nonjudgmental space and she said ‘except when it comes to your mother’ I have another appointment with her on Tuesday so if I can’t take time of work I will leave after seeing her.

They refuse to let me drive my car but I have a friend down here that is taking it to a mechanic that said he will pass it.

Im still waiting to hear back from work as to whether I can stay for the 2 weeks. Not sure if you know but they want to keep me 2 extra weeks to change meds. Right now I should be home instead I’m lying on a plastic mattress with Luke warm water in the shower.

I think that’s a summary

If I stop replying then that means I’ve fallen asleep.

So are you at home now? @Captain24

Just dropping by with some support @Captain24 and hoping all can be sorted with work so you can stay the extra 2 weeks.

💙🩵💙

No @tyme. I’m still in here. I will be for another week and a bit. It’s not safe enough for me to leave.

They approved it at work @Eve7 so I can stay.

My car passed the rego check so it’s now all registered. That’s one thing off my mind.

I'm glad @Captain24 that you will be there for a bit longer.

Do you have a plan moving forward about how you want to best utilise the rest of your time there? Or is it more about crisis support and 'making it through'?

It’s more about crisis support and med changes to try and help alleviate it @tyme.

Im just going to groups in the stage I did last time I was here. To redo the stage I just completed they don’t think I’m well enough and that it’s just too much for me.

How are you?

Yeah, I'm sort of feeling that too. Do you think you were more unwell this time, it was left too late, or that it was the combo of the people in the clinic at the same time as you? @Captain24

I really hope your meds get sorted soon.

After leaving the clinic, do you have other options you can look to?

Things are going to be busy this weekend. I have my sister's family coming over from Sydney. That means we will have 5 kids in total, ages 3,5,6,8,9.... they are coming for a wedding. I thought the whole family was going to this wedding. I just realised yesterday that only the parents are going to the wedding so the kids will be here. It'll be a busy household this weekend! They are arriving sometime Friday and returning Sunday arvo.

I think it was too late @tyme. But it was all I could do. They seem to forget that I work.

I was hoping to see my Pdoc today with a med update but at this stage I don’t think it’s happening.

My new psych is going to help me through getting home. Hopefully we come up with a good plan.

That sounds like a lot of chaos!! It will be good to have them all together though. Will you be the only one home?

Sounds like your new pdoc is very on board and willing to support you. That's a great start. @Captain24

I won't have the kids on my own. My sister and BIL will be there. I hope to keep to myself mostly. I know my niece from Sydney will just cry. She's a major crier... cries about everything lol. I can't deal with whingers.

I’m seeing my Pdoc in half an hour. @tyme. I’m hoping for a discharge date and my meds updated. I was suppose to see her in the consulting suites but my message said the ward. I hate how stupid I am. I hate that I can never get anything right. I’m just so stupid.

Maybe they will all play together and leave you alone. I struggle with criers too. I’ve been to my new groups twice now and there is one woman that cries the whole time. She just came into my room thinking it was hers. That’s the second time. She has stopped touching me at the moment though. She is ridiculously anxious but that really annoying anxiousness.

Sorry now I’m being a whinger!!