I can’t cope

Hugs to you @Captain24 ,

I just read the post above. I'm glad to hear you feel a little lighter. It's sounds like things have been cooped up in you for so long, and just to let it out can be a relief.

The girl in the room next to me who could hear my crying. @tyme. How embarrassing.

I still feeling really depressed, my chest is still really heavy. The pain is intense and that’s what I said to the facilitator ‘it hurts so much’

Hugs @Captain24 .

Have you ever tried sensory items or a weighted blanket? I wonder if that will be helpful to ground you at this time?

No I haven’t @tyme. I do have a box of sensory squishys coming. I don’t have a weighted blanket. Don’t even know where to find one.

When I was talking to the facilitator today, while I had my eyes closed there was a squishy toy there. I squished it so hard I thought it would pop.

There is no nurses on tonight to talk too. They are all busy. One of the ones I like isn’t coming in tonight.

Hey @Captain24 ,

Can you ask if they have a sensory space or something? When I was in hospital, they always had access to weighted blankets and sensory tools.

T/W SI

Nah.. there’s nothing. @tyme

I just don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m having pretty bad thoughts and yes, I have been honest about them. They all know. There isn’t many around to support though.

Hey @Captain24 ,

Am I right in saying this is a 3 week stay?

Do you think you can hang in over the weekend? If not, please talk to someone. I know how hard it is for you at the moment. I know you are tired. At the same time, would things be better at home?

I wonder if the last leg is the hardest?

I'm just thinking back to my MBT treatment and the last few months was the hardest. I didn't feel I was getting anywhere and I wanted to give up. BUT, that was when the work took place.

I don't want to turn this to me, but I just want to share my wonderings.

I am not denying that it's incredibly hard. I just want you to know we hear you.

Yeah @tyme. It’s 3 weeks. They are trying to work some things out so I can stay a couple of more days without having group. I’ve got to make it through the weekend first.

Im in so much pain. The facilitators could see it. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Apparently the hardest part of this course is last week. It supposedly gets easier.

Hopefully that happens for me.

I hurt so much

I hear you @Captain24 . I really do.

I'm going through this with you.

I talked to the psych again today. The one that made me break last night. She broke me again. I told her that I had SI and SH thoughts. The SH thoughts that I was planning for.

After she left I asked for leave, the nurses were hesitant but I was with someone. They made sure I had the number to call and that I would leave the other lady.

I got part way down the road and was too scared to go any further. I was 100% unsafe. I came back and now I won’t leave my room.

Im totally f’ing up this stay.