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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29431 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Sounds like after a rough start things are settling down @Captain24

I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself and making sure you got the pdoc you wanted. That in itself is a huge accomplishment.

I hope today goes well for you hon 💌💌

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I didn’t disassociate in group this morning but I was close. @Snowie. I feel very inadequate thought.
We also got our schemas back so that was interesting and I did tell them how I’m feeling about group.

I hope your day is ok.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 @Snowie 🙂

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @tyme

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Maybe I don’t belong here either

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

Yeah, I hear you. You're not alone in feeling that way. What helps you feel a sense of belonging?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Just to feel cared for or even just noticed would be nice. Not just an obstacle to be pushed behind everything. @tyme. To feel like my words are of some kind of value. To not lay here wanting to do things to myself.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Awww. I'm sorry it's so hard.

I haven't really caught up with you since your stay. How is it going for you?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

It’s not like last time @tyme. It’s harder and I’m struggling. I dissociated yesterday and that scared me. It’s scared me a lot.

I struggled today. But there was only 3 of us in group and 2 kept going way off topic into a different tangent. Example. We had to say how being vulnerable felt. One of them ended up talking about mowing the lawn. I feel inadequate in the group and I’m losing confidence fast.

I need to stay as I don’t feel safe enough to go home and I need to finish this course.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I'm sorry if you have covered this in earlier posts, but is there anything you can do about the group? Or anything they can do? @Captain24 I'm sorry it feel so hard this time.

From my own group experiences, I don't know if I've shared in the past already, but there was one person in my group that I really didn't get along with - at all... and the group was for 18 months. It was very very trying each time that person spoke. I had to do a lot of self talk and unpack each situation with my psychologist because this person triggered me so much each time.

Long story short, what I learnt from the experience is, that's life. There's people you like and people you don't like. I had to cop both. It taught me patience, it helped a grow a bit of a fuse, and really, I had to suck it up even though I was dying inside.

To this day, do I like that person? No. Do I regret being in a group with her? Also no. It taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

In live, I've always had an avoidant approach to things. That is, if I don't like it or it doesn't suit me, walk away. But this group session made me seek out other strategies.

I absolutely get that our 'groups' are quite different, but I just thought sharing this experience about having learnt something from it, may help you hang in there a bit more.

Thinking of you.

Sorry if it's ME who's gone on a tangent this time!

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