I can’t cope

My dr was laughing @rav3n. She was so proud that I was able to engage. Especially after she read the note I had written her. I have to say it did feel

good.

@Captain24 wait your sitter is... telling you how much your dogs want to stay with them? I mean I suppose I get it, if that's their way of saying that the dogs are happy and well looked after - but not much tact hey, to be painting a picture like 'oh they're happier with me! I'll dognap them soon don't you worry!'

Wait... Did... did you hire Cruella?

😝🤣

I'm so glad you've found a new connection! And your pdoc is right, it's okay to get up to a lil bit of mischief now and again! One of my fav quotes: "We don't stop playing when we get old. We get old when we stop playing." Anything that gets you giggling like a schoolgirl is a happy thing in my books!

Okay, I'm sorry cos my brain might be getting tired as my meds wear off, but I can't quite interpret this sentence: "Apparently I’m parliament every thing is written on some thing 🤷 She did say what it was called but I can’t remember. But it says DR…… has gone rouge! She is proud of it!"

Was the word 'parliament' a typo? Cos it's really throwing me 😅

I will have to let it remain a mystery for me tonight though, as I'm about to head off for the night! Feel free to respond of course, and I'll check in with ya tomozzle. Hugs!! 💜🫂

I know right… I feel like they are saying that the dogs love them more than me. @Jynx It’s not very comforting. I do like that they are coping ok though.

My pdoc is just amazing. She is beautiful inside and out and really loves working with me. I’ve told her in 2 sessions more than I’ve told anyone. She would love it if I gave her a story of breaking the rules.

Sorry I didn’t explain it very well. When you are in parliament (like where the politicians are) every thing is recorded and written somewhere. She did call it a name but I don’t remember. So I think it’s kinda like in court. She was pushing for change. She told everyone that they were f’ing wrong. She is a big advocate for women. They wrote that she had gone rouge because she was defying what they were saying. She is so proud of that. She broke the rules and stood up for herself.

Hi @Captain24

I'm glad you have found a pdoc that you feel comfortable with.

She is really good. She is amazing. I’m going to ask if she will see me privately. @Snowie. I’m just falling through the cracks at comm health. They don’t care for me anymore.

Sorry I’ve been so self absorbed and haven’t gotten around to other threads. I’ve lost the confidence.

But anyway… how are you going? And I mean really?

No need to apologise @Captain24 You need to take care of you first.

So glad you have built up a relationship with her. Seeing her as an outpatient sounds like a great idea.

I hope today is going well for you

@Captain24 I sincerely doubt it lol - dogs are known for their loyalty after all! But yes, odd choice of reassurance ay.

Aww yay your pdoc sounds like an absolute legend! Makes all the difference in the world to have someone we feel attuned to, who is on our side and helps us to feel safe! This has me quite chuffed for ya!!

Ahhh I see!! Thanks for clarifying that - hehe that's awesome, gone rogue, ready to take on the whole hospital for ya!

How's your Tuesday going thus far?

Today has been tough. I disassociated in group this morning. @Jynx @Snowie. I have zoned out in the past but never like today. They snapped me out of it at the end of group. We had lunch and I was a bit scattered and the facilitator from yesterday could see that I wasn’t ok and stopped and chatted.

We went back in for the second half and I said that I missed the last session. The facilitator said that she knew and we worked out strategies for if I went again. I was trying hard to stay present and she could see so we took the group out into the sun. I still couldn’t do it. She told me to leave the question and come back to it another time.

Then I nearly had a panic attack and she could see it. We got that calmed down and she said for me to leave the group for the rest of the afternoon and go for a walk to the beach.

I spent 45 minutes walking through the water. I got in hip height so the bottom of my t-shirt got wet and my leggings were soaked. I did feel grounded. It took quite a while but I got there.

As I was climbing my way back (the hills are very steep and that’s not an exaggeration!) I started to get a sense of dread coming back in. I don’t know what that’s about but after 2 hrs I came back in.

Now I’m lying in my bed hoping to stay with the moment.

Yeah @Jynx I know that Pox would never give her heart to anyone else. She is going to start signs of separation anxiety soon. It happened last time. When

mum got them she said Pix looked really down. Mum had them for the last week

last time. If I have to stay in and can’t leave when I'm meant to mum will have to take them.

Sorry for a long winded post, I need to get it out.

Thanks if you got this far and didn’t give up on my rambling

If it helps then get as much as you need out @Captain24

Better than it bubbling up inside of you

Thanks @Snowie. I did yoga and then spent a couple of hours laughing and joking with a couple of the others. I actually feel stoned!