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I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29391 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

No I haven’t @Bow. I’m trying to watch the second season of Ginny and Georgia. It’s good but tonight it’s just a struggle. But I will look at it next. I’m almost finished this series.

It’ll be bedtime soon. If I can’t focus tomorrow I will start a Lego set.

Thanks heaps for the suggestions.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I loved Ginny and Georgia! Can’t wait for the next season to come out @Captain24 but yep I get it, some times it’s just hard to get into a show you have been watching and enjoying. Goodness knows how many shows are in my ‘continue watching’ list!

I just crawled into bed myself. Put some oil on my feet and hoping to keep the restless legs at bay and off to sleep quickly!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hopefully you can get to sleep quickly @Bow.Talk tomorrow

In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I'm setting up the Family sharing lock on the kids' ipads so they can't use them without permisson. A message gets sent to their parents' phones and parents then grant them 15 mins or so. Once the time is up, the entire ipad locks. @Bow

Kids are so savvy these days. When I go out tomorrow, I'm going to take the ipads with me in the car. The thing is, I have so many ipads. I have 7 alone. Then the kids each have one. My sister has one. And the kids know my passcodes. They really are digital natives now.

The other week, I was at the doctor, and it was so sad to see these babies in prams. Parents weren't spending time with them or talking to them. Instead, they hold a phone to the pram.... it broke my heart. I had to keep telling myself that the parents must be exhausted to have to do that. Looking at the research behind screen time and developing minds, it is soooo harmful. Yet I can't judge. I don't have kids. If it did, i'd probably do the same.

Any plans for your D's school holiday?

Our holidays have already started here.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I think I accidentally messed up

In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Arghhh @Captain24 , I don't like puppy days. There is paper everywhere. Ruby also love my youngest niece's sock and shoes. Tries to rip them off my niece while they are on her feet. Then again, that niece loves Ruby's ears and is forever holding and pulling on poor Ruby's ears. This is the niece that loves holding onto earlobes. It's better she holds Ruby's than mine!

Ruby is very patient with my niece. My niece is so rough with her. She doesn't know how to be gentle with Ruby yet so we have to watch her like a hawk.

My nephew doesn't like Ruby much. Gets angry that she chews his toys.

As for my eldest niece, she's pretty caring of the dog. Takes her for walks and looks after her nicely.

But no thank you. At this moment, I think I'd rather not have the dog. Maybe when she's older it will be better.

I have youth church activities for the first week of school holidays, and then I hope to catch up with life in the second week. Book in dental appointments, optometry, etc. I might take the kids to local events in my area. They have NAIDOC week events, school holiday cooking and craft etc.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hopefully she settles down. @tyme. I love the puppy stage but I was away for 3 weeks of it with Jett and now he is in a pen and when he gets out I leave him for 3 weeks again! But I’ll make it up to him. They are very intuitive, they will pick up on a lot. I’m glad your eldest is loving her. She was the one that Ruby was for?

Are you running the youth program or are the kids going?

I don’t mean this rudely!! Do you do most of the stuff for the kids?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

"I think I messed up"

I hope you are okay. I'm not sure what this meant. @Captain24

As for the youth program, I'm taking part in running it, and yes, the kids are taking part too. So it's a bit of both. I've got no idea what I'm doing though. I'll look into it over the weekend.

Yes, Ruby was for my eldest niece who has a lot of anxiety. I reckon this kid will have a lot of emotional issues in the future.

I don't do EVERYTHING for the kids, but as I've mentioned before, while they are young and I'm living next door, I want to help as much as possible. You know about my BIL. He tries so hard but really cannot do what he needs to. I see my sister get frustrated, and that's why I help. Also, I might mind the kids, but my sister cooks. I don't so ANY cooking or washing the dishes or anything. Also, the kids always ask me to, say, read them a story, take them out, shower them etc. It's a treat for them, and I give in because I know it's only for a few years.

Hope that makes sense.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m getting really sleepy really quickly. @tyme

I use to go to one when I was a kid, my nan that passed away last year use to help run it. It was always good. I think it helped that it was with my nan. How heartwarming is that!

Im glad it’s not everything, they are lucky to have you. I never really had any aunts or uncles that did anything for us. Dad’s one of 10 and mums one of seven so I have a lot. I’m not close to any.

I think that’s where I get stuck, that and I had a friend that use to use me all the time with her kids. I got hurt. I don’t want the same for you. I do know it’s different though.

Im glad she still cooks for you. I get you want to do it while you can. Plus with your BIL. How did he ever go with the own business?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Oh, nah, it's not being used at all. @Captain24 . When I need a break, I tell my sister. And where possible, they do everything unless I offer. For example, there's some days I pick up the kids from school but they never ask. If I happen to be that way at pick up time, I just message them and get the kids. And the kids love it because I get them treats lol. Just seeing them run to be after school is so heart warming. They kids all wanted to sleep with me tonight. I said no way. Then the youngest says, "That's not fair! I never get to sleep with you!" And she's right. The other two have, but not the youngest.

It's slow-going with my BIL. The business is moving a little, but just slow. I think it's expected with any business and they were prepared for it. As long as he is well, that's my main concern.

As for the in-laws, they will be going back to sydney soon. I think next month or the month after!

Anyway, I just realised the time. I'm heading off.

Rest up and I'll catch you over the weekend.

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