I can’t cope

Thank you @tyme

Sleep well if you can!

Talk soon

Hi @Captain24 , it seems you had another better day yesterday, despite feeling lost? And I saw you supporting others, so you must've felt a bit stronger? 🤞

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@Captain24 wrote:

Hope all is ok with you?

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Yes, thanks.

I hope today is another better day for you 🤞

I need to look into setting up the family sharing things on my iPad @tyme I allow her to use it for 1hr each day and that’s it. At the moment we set a timer.

but her ‘iPad’ isn’t an iPad, it’s a Lenovo tablet, so it’s not as easy.

when she was banned from my iPad it was actually really nice. She had the initial meltdown, but once that was over she understood and didn’t whinge for it back. She played. She spent a lot more time out of her room and with us, especially of an evening. She likes to use my iPad to play a certain game that she can’t play on hers.

I most definitely relied on the iPads too much in the past. When I don’t have the capacity it’s just easier to say here, go play on this. But I don’t want to do that anymore, cause as you said, it’s not good.

for the school holidays I have booked D into vacation care a few days. I let her pick which days she wants to go depending on what activities they are doing. I think we will go to a little zoo with my friend and her granddaughter- they both get on really well. And then hopefully we will do something fun one day too.

Today is hard. I did so well for a little while but today it’s all too much.

What have I done wrong? I have been doing all self care things. I got out of bed at 9 am. I’ve been trying but today is a fail.

I have nothing in me. I have nothing to give. I feel like I’m nothing but did feel that way yesterday. What has happened?

[edited by moderator] Maybe when I wake up I’ll go back to feeling like yesterday. I want it back. I want to know what I’ve done wrong. What I failed at. I tried so hard.

Hey @Captain24 ,

I hear today is so hard. I know how much you reached out and tried yesterday. You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. This can be exhausting and maybe this is why you are feeling this way.

Don't let this pull you down. We are here to support you. Push past the early days, and in time, it will get easier and easier.

Remember I spoke about things being extremely difficult for me earlier this week? I had to consciously push past the negativity for days. It was EXHAUSTING! And true, I just wanted to sleep. Yet today, after 5 days of battling, things are so much better. I wonder if this account will give you an indication that it's pretty normal for you to feel this way? It doesn't mean you have failed.

Also, just a note that I had to edit your post to remove the mention of a risky coping mechanism as part of our guidelines. Hope that's okay with you.

Remember, you are not alone.

Well that wasn’t my smartest move. Now I’m ridiculously tired with a massive headache and my body has nothing.

I didn’t even get to go back to yesterday’s feeling. Now I actually feel worse

Hey @Captain24 sounds rough. In need of some rest by the sounds of it?

I took a sleeping tablet so I could sleep the afternoon away in the hope of waking up feeling better. @Jynx

Yesterday was a good day and it felt great but today went backwards. I don’t know why and I can’t figure out what I did wrong. I did the same stuff as yesterday it it just didn’t work.

Im feeling like it’s just never meant to happen for me. Maybe im just not good enough. Maybe I just don’t deserve it.

Ach @Captain24 you woken up feeling rubbish eh?

Ahhh the trials and tribulations of recovery, where one day you actually feel decent! Then the next, it's all dark clouds and wondering where it all went wrong.

I wouldn't overthink it too much hun, trying to find 'where it all went wrong' is likely a pursuit that will just drive you bonkers and worsen your mood further. If it was something distinct, you'd already know what it was. But it could be all sorts of stuff, everything from trauma's habitual thinking, to hormones, to something bizarre and obscure, like your usual bread brand have added a new preservative that's messing with your brain chemistry.

Sometimes the best thing to do is re-focus, away from 'Why did it all go wrong?' to 'What can I do now that might change things?'