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Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before. I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent. there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.
How are we this morning? I know the feeling of not wanting to get up... especially when it's cold and things are tough.. I snoozed my alarm for 2 hours this morning.. although the alarms kept going off every 30 minutes, woke up super irritable >.<
What's everyone up to today?
Warmest, PizzaMondo 🙂
In response to: I can’t cope
PizzaMondoSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Sounds like it's been a tough morning for you. Wonder if it's possible to create a tiny but manageable plan so you can at least have some water and a little bite to eat this morning? Whaddya think @Captain24 ?
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I have to feed the dogs lunch @PizzaMondo. They didn’t get breakfast. I’m a really bad mum.
It’s like I just want to sleep the day away and forget that I exist. Life is just way too hard at the moment and I just don’t want to do it anymore. It just feels like I’m going from one crisis to another.
The chest pain is really getting me down as well. I kinda wish that they found something yesterday, just to explain it. All they said is that it’s from abruptly stopping meds. I won’t be doing it again.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
PizzaMondoSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
That's OK @Captain24 - you are not a bad dog mum, you can still make their lunch up and something for yourself too at the same time. I'm going to head on my little lunch break at 12pm, maybe we can do it at the same time? I'll be there feeding the dogs with you in spirit 😛
To some extent, I hear what you're saying so well Captain, I know that feeling of crisis after crisis, and just wanting it to all stop because it's so incredibly overwhelming. But you have come so far, and you will also get through this difficult phase.
Have you started back up on your meds now? Has your chest been aching? I'm sorry to hear that you're having physical pain like that also.
Stay connected with the community via our forums, and with your external supports, we're all on a journey to find those answers for ourselves, to make some sense of everything.. here for you ~
Warmest, PizzaMondo 🙂
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I did have had lunch and feed the dogs @PizzaMondo.
I tried to do some diamond art, I tried to do some Lego, I tried watching tv and I tried cleaning the kitchen.
Nothing is working. I’ve gone back to bed.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
There are people that have some real problems and things going on. Then there is stupid, useless me with nothing going on, who is in bed so I don’t have to fight the urge to finish everything off
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
JynxModerator
Re: I can’t cope
Hey @Captain24 - rough day today? Here for you hun 💜
There's always going to be folks who have it easier than us, and folks who have it rougher. Belittling or downplaying our struggles does not make it any easier on them or make their struggles harder, nor does it make us feel better or make our lives easier. "Comparison is the thief of joy" is a quote that has happened to be rattling around my brain of late, and it's so true. To say you have 'nothing going on' is doing you and your recovery process a disservice.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I don’t want to do this anymore @Jynx.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
JynxModerator
Re: I can’t cope
I know it feels really hard @Captain24, and I know how hard it feels when we want so desperately for things to be different. I don't have magic words that can make it all feel better, but I can stay and chat with you - about how you're feeling if you want, or about other stuff as a distraction. Up to you 💜
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
It’s too hard, I just want to end it. I no longer want to be …. @Jynx
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