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Something’s not right

sick of myself

sick of myself

ive been MIA lately. just so ashamed of myself for getting so low again. for being so useless to everyone around me. i'm so confused and lost in my life. ive been on this merry go round for 3 years since seperating frm my ex of court and appeals and family court mud slinging matches. it doesnt end and im suddenly so angry with it all and ive never really felt anger before and im terrified of it. people tell me that i need to hold on and that all that external stuff 'will end'... its been 3 years.. and at least family court wise we havent even started that properly yet. i cant envisage coping through another 3 years of this and being told that it 'will end' is just agh! im so confused with this anger that is just bubbling under the surface at the moment. i dont know what to do with it and when i start to 'get angry' i immediately start to remember horrific things where others were angry and shut off into some bad space with the movies running over and over in my head. i feel like i go from almost about to explode in anger to this pathetic terrified whimpering child. i'm scared all the time that its going to happen again. my physical health is on the rocks though mostly the drs just say im run down and my mental health is not helping and could be contributing etc. which is all true but doesnt really lead to anything getting better. and sleep is non existant. my pyschiatrist wanted me to use meds and i told him i'd tried them and they dont work and he laughed as though i was lying (not unkindly.. hes actually quite nice) and i wont take the other stuff he seems to love... but makes me feel so much worse during the day. it kind of doesnt help that its holidays i think because i lose the... routine that work forces me to stick to. and my kids are with their dad for the longest time yet and not speaking to them for so long is just awful.

i was getting by before by focussing on the next important thing that i had to do, whether it was get dressed, make lunches, get in the car, plan lesson, talk to... etc i just had everything down to this focus on one thing next. but i havent been able to keep up with any more than that andnow theres so much more piling in that is overwhelming me completely. house is a disaster area, but probably cluttered densely enougn now that we'd survive a nuclear attack (see i can sstill see a silver lining). my blood pressure problems and dizziness may mean i cant drive if it keeps happening. we wont cope with that. my brain looks at stuff and just doesnt compute it. i cant concentrate or make myself do that things that i know need doing. i started the dishes an hour ago but got as far as filling the sink and washing one plate before i just got distracted and ended up back in my chair. im just so utterly usefless at the moment and theres just nothing of me left.

lj

110 replies

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In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member. I hope you don't mind that I've popped into your conversation.
I have become a big analyser - since going into hospital this year & really focusing on getting better. Working really hard with my psychologist. I find the odd issue can bring up anziety for me. The fear of the unknown - as my psychologist calls anxiety.
This is where I'm finding I have to pull back and stop thinking about future issues - that really I have no control over.
This is just a general observation on over thinking. Not sure if it helps.
Having said all that - I think Christmas is something that you need to think about - especially if you won't have your children with you. Will this be thd first Christmas without them?
I think your therapist needs to help you with this. He/she needs to help you plan for Christmas day - so you are prepared and hVe plans in place for keeping yourself busy on the day & strategies for keeping you safe. Not just physically - but emotionally.
Sending you my best thoughts.♥♥

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

thank you everyone! it means so much to have people understand. It makes me feel like i'm just such a loser.. something wrong with me that i'm alone at christmas... and even when i have the kids i struggle with thinking if it will be 'enough'... just the three of us. no big family get together, trying to be everything for the kids... I havent got any 'orders' yet for christmas but the way things have been going it all seems to go to what my ex wants regarding holiday times/care. I think last year we had christmas before christmas... then they went to their dads. friends have invited me to their christmas's before.. one time i did go but i felt like such an outsider... and my kids were with me.. there was gift sharing and big catch up and reunions between people and even the kids felt left out. you can be very good friends with someone but its still not the same at times like christmas.

I like all of your suggestions about being organised and ready. I might look into volunteering somehow.. but not sure my anxiety could handle doing something new with people i dont know either.. very pathetic!! i will try to have a plan for the day where pup and i keep busy somehow.

I'm back to work tomorrow AGHHH! i may just hide instead.

Dear @Appleblossom I'm always here for you 🙂 im glad that you're still around too. one day at a time...

@BlueBay I hope that you are doing ok, big hugs!

@utopia im very glad you popped in, thank you for your reply and suggestions.

So much of my life is 'unknown' at hte moment.. makes it so hard. i dont know when/what will happen with my ex's appeal hearing, or what family court orders are coming up. my life is on stand still in so many ways of things that i can't control. over the last few years one of my main mantras has been to control what i can control and try to not worry about the rest. BUT... it's so hard and its something that i've forgotten recently.. thank you for the reminder on that.

lj

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

@Former-Member. Volunteering back of house might be more comfortable for you and your anxiety.

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hiya @Former-Member. I'm just wondering what would help you when you post on here feeling really low. I guess this question is two fold. I really want to help you when you post but I feel like I don't often hit the mark to help. Secondly I'm trying to work out what I need at this time too when things are at a very low point. If you don't mind me asking what helps you the most when you are having a tough time both on and off the forums?

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi ya @Former-Member

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

hi @Former-Member, sorry i made you feel like your posts arent helpful! they are and you're always kind and supportive and hear me. but i can see how i came accross when i was talking about 'hating people calling me strong'. sorry. i wasnt thinking about how that might have come across and i didnt mean that it was for you to write it... i see other people as strong.. my psychologist is always telling me my self perception is... not accurate but its so hard to rationalise over how i feel.

i dont know what helps.. honestly sometimes i stay away when im really low, i tend to isolate and withdraw a bit. it sometimes just so important to not feel alone though i think. im always scared i'll coem accross as attention seeking. or that i really shouldn't bee so low and don't deserve to get any help for it.. because it's always my own fault that i've sunk again!

off the forums... getting sleep, exercise and eating... regularly... helps (i get into really crappy eating patterns which doesnt help energy levels i know!). seeing my psychologist regularly (she's away for six weeks atm 😞 ) and staying in touch with friends is really important but hard. when i get really low all of that just gets to be impossible. then its like picking up the pieces slowly one by one when im starting to lift a bit.

im not sure any of this has answered you. but i'm really sorry if i upset you. i really didnt intend to though i can see how i did now.

lj

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Its just a OK hard, don't worry about it, be yourself, how people react is a heir responsibility, how they think is only ever 'interesting' or 'none of our business
Easy to say 🙂

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

try again-
Its just a too hard, don't worry about it, be yourself. How people react is their responsibility, how they think is only ever 'interesting' or 'none of our business'
Easy to say, haha

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member
You never made me feel like my posts weren't helpful but tonight I realised how hard it is to hear some of those things when we are really down. I realised that perhaps I'm like you with hearing compliments when we are struggling. So I thought about you and wondered what would help you when you are down because it's hard sometimes to want to help but not know how. I then was trying to work out what would help me when I am down and I didn't know the answer. I think I am very much the same as you. I'm becoming more and more paranoid of coming across as attention seeking or not being good enough to fix myself. Perhaps what we need most then is to know that we are not alone and that is ok not to be ok. I sometimes feel the need to shout it on here and then I've been trying to work out why I feel the need to do that. What would I gain by doing this. The only answer I can think of is so that someone knows I'm not feeling good but as far as working out what helps in that moment I don't know either.
I'm sorry for rambling and sorry for targeting you for this but I had a feeling that we reacted and had similar thoughts with this.
Thank you so much for responding. I was feeling a bit guilty for putting you on the spot. I hope the rest of this week is kind to you. Take care 😊💜🤗💐

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi
I have a crazy work week... A training day first off on nobday. Sports day tomorrow and our regional show is on Friday. I'm exhausted. Staff meeting was all about planning for next year and depth of information needed in our programs etc that need to handed up to the boss I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. Feeling very much like this job is too much... I'm good at parts of my job (working with the kids)) but I just can't keep up with the rest of the work load or my life... 😞 panic is always hovering at the moment.
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