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Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor17 Mar 2022, 10:12 pm AEDT

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor08 July 2022, 11:53 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @TAB good Ur OK but sorry the day was not amazing.

I hate cm so it's good she's away I guess but I can't help but still feel depressed when she calls in sick when we have a meeting, feels bit isolating.

We have a meeting on Monday with her and the while team, I am curious if she'll show.

But even if she does its OK because they can be witness to her being terrible..

What have u got on for the weekend?

We had some wild rain today. 🌧

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

TABSenior Contributor09 July 2022, 12:01 am AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Nothing much on here over weekend. Sounds like they are in wrong job. Not your problem @EternalFlower oh. Reminds me supposed to rain all day tomorrow yay . Will try and get a walk in . Hope you get sleep. Gone to bed here

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Eve7Senior Contributor09 July 2022, 3:10 am AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

My footy team won @EternalFlower so I was happy.

For some reason I can’t sleep tonight and I have heaps to do over the weekend.

Hope your weekend is good. 🌛🌸🌺

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor09 July 2022, 5:07 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

That's great @Eve7

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 3:05 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi everyone,

3pm and just woke up,

I slept all day because I've been pretty down.

Awful nightmares, too.

I feel un motivated and alone.

I've called lifeline ×2 and found them amazing.

I am sorting through all my books and trying to give some away to have less stuff

If I move it will be easier.

How are u all?? 💓

@Eve7 @TAB @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Former-Member @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

PeregrinefalconSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 3:17 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower 🌻 Just wanted to say how amazing it is that you have been able to reach out when things have been really hard.

It takes so much courage to reach out in our darkest times 💛

Hope you are staying warm wherever you are! ❄️

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

TABSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 3:26 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @EternalFlower hope things get better for you

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 11:41 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

hi @Peregrinefalcon

reaching out is super scary as u never know if it could make it worse, a gamble.

But it often helps.

Tomorrow (monday) is a meeting with my case manager which might be difficult

I've been feeling so over everything, so down, and really very anxious about big life stuff

I have cptsd....it's rough.

Thank u for replying.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 11:45 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks @TAB

I hope the week ahead is better

I have tried to do a few things to set me up for more good than bad this week

I've emailed my dr that I'm really not feeling Safe in myself

I've sent my best friend my safety plan

I've reached out to lifeline

I've cooked a meal although the it was not awesome. I have hardly any food in the house, honestly just feel like eating a 🍕 or 🎂 or something easy!

Hope everyone had a good weekend x I hope u are doing OK and feeling happy and well

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

TABSenior Contributor10 July 2022, 11:47 pm AEST

Re: Trying makes it worse

Not sure about happy or well , but I have hope for tomorrow @EternalFlower 😸

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