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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

Hope your sh has been tended sufficiently not to be an ongoing problem.

Yes I have seen things. Not me, but my siblings. Its hard.

Gently Bently is often my motto...

but at times we need to be in our strength... find ways to do a victory dance as well.

Apple

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hello @tonys @Oaktree @Oaktree @Owlunar2 @tyme @TAB @hope Ur doing OK in these trying time

I am getting police welfare checks 2 a week almost due to me calling Lifeline so much and my phone dying mid call or me not being able to instill much confidence in the worker that I'm safe.

It is kinda odd and intense what a disaster life is atm

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

Hi,

Although life seems a disaster lately, I am glad that people are taking you seriously and doing something about it! I really hope that you feel better soon. Keep taking one minute at a time, you will get there slowly but surely.

Thinking of you,

Meggle

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi there,

All I can say is you are so not alone...I'm in the same situation....

Stay strong and keep on keeping on, x

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @Bel2012 @EternalFlower ,

I'm sorry to hear that like is just so hard right now.

I hear your struggles @EternalFlower - I want you to know you are not alone.

Life of a borderline? I'm reliving my past life as I read your posts. You deserve to live. You deserve to live life. You deserve to thrive and survive.

Hugs from my side.

Please stay safe.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

hi @Bel2012 how are you? please share anything you feel comfortabel i'm hear to listen anytime x

hi @tyme i may as well put it all out there it's a MH forum but when I was in the ED the notes said I had a new personality disorder i've been diagnosed with 3 of them from all different clusters.
I think my abandonment and trauma stuff is governing my life right now and I can't see any way out

hi @Oaktree thank you for checking in

hi @TAB @Appleblossom @tonys dear friends.


I feel like i'm only kinda surviving.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower ,

Sometimes, with mental health, there are times when 'just surviving' is all that we can do - and that's okay 🙂

So proud of you.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower

I agree with @tyme you do have the right to survive and thrive, but yes often life is about just surviving. Its kind of the rollercoaster and ups and downs in feelings and life events that give us a sense of uniqueness or difference and responsiveness. Its reflection that can help us make sense of it all.

I am not real fond of the medical model.

Hearing you about issues with reassuring workers.

You wrote " not being able to instill much confidence in the worker that I'm safe."

I had a situation like that yesterday. I ended up getting cross with them, and she whined. 'I only asked'. Its become on overused protocol. Yes I know all the reasons of why it was instigated, but .... When its all about reassuring the worker cos of their poor duty of care, it gets a bit confused about real responsibility. I hope when I see her next year we get on alright.

Take Care of YOU.

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hello dear friends

@tyme @tonys @Appleblossom @Oaktree @Owlunar2 @TAB @red_roses @@Zoe7 @Dimity

My home is slowly settling down and I'm drinking too much coke again but am here

I bought new clogs today and feel pretty

I have 2 ndis workers atm and am looking at new ones

Sorry I tagged a few people i liked talking to in other spaces, please disregard if u don't wanna interact here xx

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

clogs sounds nice @EternalFlower wonder if AB has some ? @Appleblossom thanks for the tag, hope you are okay ... 😊

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