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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

1,681 - 1,690 of 2,606

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

On a chain around my neck it shall be @Oaktree . My friend wants to take me up north. Darwin and north W A are 2 places I have never been. Its my one chance. My friend is a real bushy and he has

a huge carrot in my face. . . A boat.. So somehow I have to make it happen.

Anyway how are you putting on the fairways today Meggle, and how did hubby pull up today.

Olympic achievement from him I reckon..

Roast bear hey megs , I mean really. . . . Mate Can i swap scripts with you. . .?

Cheers my industrious friend. tonys mb 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hello @EternalFlower

I am so very sorry that I have not been well enough to respond to you..

lovely of you to write and ask after.me.. that is the lovely eternal..

I was shocked to hear about your ordeal and treatment..

Not organising transport home for your safety is disgusting..Hope that you get to talk to your doctor soon..

I will try to write more soon. I must leave a message for a couple of others and get to sleep

Warm hugs

xxx

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys

Eagle hawk dropped off a copy of your post

can’t find it again

polished stool ..picked the hanky up off of the floor.. turned around.. not there..

can’t believe you are going to top of Wa and Darwin ..husband and I were planning same trip.. my doctor told us both to take a holiday away from everything and everyone

..will try to write to you soon..

when are you last on computer..

have to sleep now

hugs

take care

Sophia bird.. loved that

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@Oaktree

Will try to write soon thank you

hugs

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Now I can tell you are tired so put the cap back on the Ink well. And we can yap when you are rested.

MATE..... what happened @Sophia1 , here one minut Im reading your paper, then poooof.... your . back on the deck of the starship enterprise.

B u t. . . . . old farmer tonys new that if he put enough icing and sprinkles on his little trail of doughnuts....

A frown would give way to smile . and maybe a smile would give way to a laugh...

I bet it was the me writing not to mess with your coffee, maybe the train set.

My hats tossed in the air and I'm shootin holes in it. YEY EVERYONE SOPHIA IS BACK. . .!

Theres a poem for you a bit back on the Greystone thread. well thats overstating it

A fun half bottle fun rhyme. . . Glad your back my friend and hope we can have a little sit down

when your feathers are fully dry. Your friend tonys moonbase 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys @EternalFlower @Sophia1

Omg yay!!! Sophia1 is home!

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

My dear friends

@tonys @EternalFlower @Oaktree @LeChuck

shall we bring grey stone, grey rock, toon town over here for eternal flower.

some of us are still struggling....

eternal flower you are still eternally shining in our hearts..

I hope that you are still on line

a gift from us your friends .....

when the person on the other end of the line of the phone makes you cringe..

politely let them know that you sense that they cannot help you and say goodbye...

then ring again..it is not you who needs to change...

you will find the person for you..the one who truly listens and lets you know how worthy you are as a person..

you are precious...

remind yourself of your resilience and that you have overcome so much...

@LeChuckthe same to you my friend...

every time we feel our knees weaken and we need to stop and catch our breath..

when we do...

we get back up so much stronger...as ourselves...

I cannot read very much at all at the moment. cannot keep the mind still..

I will get back there I always do..

eternal.....enjoy your books...they bring light to the mind as music brings joy and touches our hearts...

LeChuck....enjoy your music...

Tonys....keep on writing...

Meggle....keep on using that imagination and wicked sense of humour

we all have some of that...don't we...

I don't like goodbyes...

may your next part of your journey eternal if you are leaving...bring new opportunities and acceptance of you..

find a place to hold us...

big warm hugs

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys

In answer to your question...

The beacon in your message was

"I bet it was the me writing not to mess with your coffee.'

OOh do not mess with my coffee anyone. I like to make my own black, strong, very fresh..

maximum 2 small cups per day as my eyes would never close otherwise.

I can't go back all of those pages on greystone rock or whatever at the moment..

I will find it there one day when more focussed..

So I am thrilled to hear that you have a true , real, friend taking you off to the beautiful top of WA and Darwin. Fishing....Yarns.....poetry....guitar....forget the fish laugh...leave them to swim....and please take a harmonica and play a few tunes for me...

Campfires on the river banks or beaches of the seashore.....

You have your thank you for all of your hard work....hard journeys.....

all the love that you have given to others...

I always knew that you were transient...in your nature...

So so like my older offspring..

Let us know the date that you will not longer be online a few days to a week before if you can.

Wonderful travels true friend

You certainly made a difference in my forum world when you landed on my page...

big hug

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@Oaktree

what can I say....

I just cannot keep up..

love love love you thinking of me and leaving me messages..

Cannot go to all of those places and read more posts from more people..

like being in a gigantic shopping centre....

(not comfortable in shopping centres...I like to see the outside world...go out a door and be in the real world that does not feel like another big shop inside another shop )..then I can't find where I came in...

tis me...

Your heart is in a beautiful place.

Thank you Meggle.

Wherever you all write from will try to find you when I can.

am looking for some music...

I know that we all have different tastes...

big hug

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys @EternalFlower @LeChuck @Oaktree

I love this

I like to feel the meaning is that you do not have to travel a thousand miles to find what you are looking for ..

it is in front of our eyes all of the time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es3Vsfzdr14

lastly the beautiful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

stand by me

xxx

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