Trying makes it worse

hello @EternalFlower hope today is more ups than downs. Just write me a kite any time you are blue, if it helps. Better just mention that when my book keeper isn't around to read my home work before I hit the post button, the letter may not fly as intended. I cant spell and I coat my words in treacle, throw em at the wall, and keep what sticks and send them with the very best intentions. If they ever don't make sense. Just chuckle, and imagine a mud farmer in a puzzle factory. Very best intentions.

May tomorrow bring you treats. . . tonys mb1

@EternalFlower I think of you as deep and thoughtful. Keep well

Oooh @tonys you did type what you said. Sorry both of you, I was messing with language.

Tail tucked between legs and walking away ... lol

Wishing the best in coming week.

You're a sweet person @Appleblossom thank you it was my terrible spelling mistake and you made it caring and fun. Thanks

I have had some uplifting experiences recently and am trying to hold on. I didn't tag anyone occasionally because I feel in depressing and triggering and I don't want to force that on someone but I know thats my own self issue. Kindness always wins

@EternalFlower @Appleblossom , Oh boy , was way off. thought it was a mistake in one of my old posts because it sounded like one of my lines. If we are laughing, then its worth it.

and I was never here. tonys mb1

Cheers @tonys

Hugs @EternalFlower

I really am glad to find so many decent thoughtful people on the forum.

Trying to bring a bit of dignity and yes, humour to this struggle we have with sanity ,,,

@Appleblossom cheers mate, we'll raise our glasses and drink to finding what we can , where we can.

Freudian . . . . SIPS...

Happy trails . . . appleblossom. tonys moonbase 1

Hello I am at home surrounded by my mess with things everywhere cooking up a pasta dinner with the last scraps I have and have to admit I barely know how to cook. As a trauma thing I grew up in dysfunction and there were no meals so I just wing cooking with mixed results. And often disastrous results.

I saw Dr today , it is so awkward when he comes out after me and hangs around receiption and I don't know wether to look at him or not lol. Sometimes I do sometimes I don't. He was being funny and the receptionist mentioned his name so he sort of snuck up behind her to hesr what was happening as it seemed to be a crises with another patient

I feel really empty and tired but am hanging on. I am doing everythijg I can to hold hope where this none.

Hey @EternalFlower ,

I'm hearing you.

Reading your posts over the course of months, I really want to remind you have far you have come. From being in hospital, to now being at home, you really have made a lot of progress.

Remember to focus on your strengths.

You are not alone.

Thank you 💕💕

I am taking it one day at a time. I hope to try make home feel more safe. @tyme

Hello. Feeling really vulnerable tonight, descending into negative thoughts about my past and blaming myself for choices that led to me ending up in a toxic rship ....cyclical thinking ...I don't want to accept what was happened and all the pain and turmoil I went though and for how long...

I am overtired and my place since hospital is a mess and I'm being really self critical like I just can't live with the piles of crap on the floor but I have no energy to deal. I feel lonely and isolated and wish I had the friends or the money to have some help cleaning everything and managing life.

I had a meeting today at hospital with staff over my case and my friend came to support me. It went well in its way but yet feeling so empty now, like I still didn't get my needs met. I feel alone even though I had someone with me today.

I don't think I'm enough and my damage is too big. It's eternal.

I went to the op shop today and bought a wooden crate which I hope to dust off and use as a bedside table. Currently I don't have one.