TW: it feels like I'm drowning

Yes it certainly is a self protection mechanism @creative_writer I have felt that so often myself. I think trauma puts up those barriers for us as we are very well aware of what life can throw at us and are always on high alert because of it. It is a hard one to deal with. ...and talking about trauma is even harder. We do not disclose this to many because it is so personal and so hard but your are right - trauma is often more common than we realise.

Hey @creative_writer 💗 I have always found SANE helpcentre to be amazing so I am glad you called them. Those feelings you have are really hard to get on top of Hon. Can you pinpoint what is making you feel trapped and confused? Sometimes it is just our lives as a whole but if we can break it down and 'name' what is happening we can often find ways to deal with each part separately. I find trying to deal with such big emotions really hard but once I can separate what is happening in my mind then it becomes easier to deal with.

Hearing you @creative_writer MI is hard enough with everything else on top of that. Just take it as it comes Hon, do what you can and rest if you need. Sometimes are bodies tell us well before we acknowledge it what we need.

Hi there @creative_writer,

It sounds like you're sitting with a lot of heavy thoughts and feelings this afternoon. I know you said that you don't want to call anyone because you might cry, but I'm wondering if crying might not be such a bad thing? Would you be open to giving a support line a call?

Hey @creative_writer,

That's completely understandable, I don't like to cry in public either. It's a lot more comfortable to do from the comfort of your couch/bed/safe place, so that's really great that you were able to utilise the text based chat instead. Look at you go, identified your needs and putting supports in place 👏 That was a part of my recovery that took a long time to get to so kudos for that.

I also find that when I'm sleep deprived my thoughts around SA tend to flare up. It's an awful double whammy, so taking care of yourself in the ways you've mentioned is brilliant.

Every time I'm in the forums the collective resilience never ceases to amaze me, and what you've described here (as hard as I have no doubt it is) is the epitome of that 💙

Rhye ☘️