The Next Day

I have called this thread The Next Day because it reminded me of David Bowie's 25th album. At the age of 25 I was on a journey to explore things I care about (in fact I posted on this forum about it at the time). In the end I went overseas to chase something, but I came back it didn't eventuate.

I think at this stage in my life (bearing in mind this was prior to COVID) I was hopeful and optimistic about the future generally but also my future. Sadly it did not eventuate and I think have suppressed that feeling for far too long. But I realised very recently that I have suppressed a lot of memories for too long. Since that trip did not eventuate I have been stuck in somewhat of a pattern (and its something I only just realised very recently). This pattern involved me being hard on myself, forcing myself to take up jobs for the sake of it and basically just suppressing more of the things that I cared for, wondered about and worried about.

I guess now that I have time, I have time to go back over these things and learn. Maybe fate has now finally afforded me the chance to spend this time on myself. Come whatever may from this day forward, what I know is that since 25 I have grown a lot as a human. And some stupid things have burned away, and yet others have stayed all the same. And yet some of the things I care about are still there.

So from this day on I am committing to myself a promise - to be "Good" to myself and to continue on a path that is consistent with things I care about and similar. To keep a sharper mind towards myself and to not get distracted.

I promised myself 2 weeks ago when i was about to finish my then "new" job that I didn't last with, that I needed to do 2 things: Contextualise everything i have done and where I am at now. And to also avoid going idle.

I do not believe the second is a possibility, unless i lose site of the former.

onwards I go