AFKSenior Contributor
Caring for an unwell partner
Hi all,
I've come to this forum for a range of reasons. Partly for my own mental health stuff, and partly because I could sure use some support in being there for my partner. He has had an organ transplant less than 2 years ago, and is still very much recovering from that. He will be on immune suppressants for the rest of his life, so all this happening concurrent with the pandemic is frightful. He has to take a massive pile of meds every day, he struggles with digestion, headaches, very low energy and depression. He's always had depression, but it's a wholly new animal since the surgery, and he's having to re-learn his body alongside this; he functions so differently now and it confounds him. His memory has become far worse than it was before. Whilst I am no longer his carer in the sense that he can shower and dress himself and all that stuff and can do a bit of housework, I do still do the lion share of the household work (and of course there is more of it than before, with two of us to clean up after and vigilance re covid triples that again) and have to do all the organising and remembering of stuff.
The challenge - I have ADHD (and depression, but the former is more the problem). Executive function is my enemy - my working/short term memory is abysmal, my organisation strategies have to be changed regularly because I just forget I have them if they aren't novel and interesting, I can't focus on the household stuff to save myself and struggle with it at the best of times. Just keeping myself fed is a monumental task, now my big-batch "solve the food problem for a week" meals disappear in a few days with another person eating as well - never mind the cleaning. I feel overwhelmed with all of it, especially as it crowds out self-care (partly because I'm busy, partly because being busy + ADHD brain means I literally forget to do it, even though it is important to me). Mind you, I wouldn't trade lives with anyone for quids, I love my partner and our birds dearly, but holy moley I could do with some good advice.
AFK.
