Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

Thank you @xp

Yes the idea: "I am already the person I aim to be",
came to me because of the values that we have are fairly fundamental.

I think I read from Simon Sinek that we are not necessarily born with values, but we develop the from our experiences and they may change a bit over time but they are fairly fundamental to us and thus consistent.

So if we have not expressed our values in a circumstance, or we think so, or others may think so, then that can lead us to feel bad.
But let's not forget that we should be proud of or 'value' our values.
And perhaps if we feel a bit bad, it's because we know we are aiming high and may have missed our target. But that does not define who we are. We are our best values.

Hey @Zol ,

And I think it's important to consider whether our current values are what we are really living by. How do we know?

What you spend the most time, money, and energy on is an indicator of the values you are living by.

Thoughts?

What you spend the most time, money, and energy on is an indicator of the values you are living by
Perhaps a bit to unpack @tyme .

If we are spending time, money, and energy on something, there's usually a reason and it is to fulfill a need. Something we need hasn't been met. So there's something we value not being met.

Yet I think values can be more aspiring or inspiring too.

Let me unpack my case.
I think my greatest value is Respect. Giving and Receiving in all circumstances.
If I've been badly treated, I may be spending time, money and energy avoiding certain circumstances, because I don't want the disrespect to me to continue.

But if I acknowledge my value of Respect as what I want to bring to the world, it can lead me to communicate differently, and take different actions to bring that value into my life.
(Actions other than avoiding a circumstance)

This brings to mind the concept of boundaries, which will take a while longer to explain.
I draw mostly on the work of Brene Brown and Simon Sinek. Brene has good insights into boundaries.

Your boundaries are yours. You put them up. They are good things to have.
And with the right person we can change our boundary with them.
Trust them a little. Share a little more with them. See how they respond. Can you trust them more?

Ie: I won't talk about my feelings if someone isn't likely to respond in a supportive way.
Or if I do try to communicate, it would need to be in a "responsible(?)" way.

So not: "You did X that hurt my feelings". Blaming them. Demanding an apology and behaviour change. (I've don't this once or twice. It feels right at the time, but doesn't seem to get a good result)

More like: "When you did X, I thought Y and my feelings are upset.

Can I clarify what your intention was when you did X." I'm trying to remove the blame, but still communicate my feelings.

I don't know if I communicated this well here, and I've not really practiced this when needed.
Brene says she and we all need to "practice" to not react, take a second or much longer, to pause to think about establishing our values (ie mutual respect), before we respond to the situation.

I've blurted out a lot and I hope this is useful.

I'm no expert.

This is just me trying to work things out for myself too.

Totally @Zol . I agree with you wholeheartedly. That is when you unpack it more. I totally hear what you are saying. Makes a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing.

It's great to unpack things like this as a way of seeking clarification.

@Zol That's a lovely thing to take away from watching movies. They have an incredible power to tell stories that really resonate with us, and I love that when though there's alot of commercialised rubbish, theres also a persisting spirit of artists using their voices in creative ways. We can learn much from movies, and other creative mediums.

I've been enjoying watching films with themes of triumph and overcoming adversity (can you guess why? hehe)

@rav3n Yes I really am. I found out the author Christopher Paolini was quite young when he started writing the series, so it's admirable that he was able to achieve quite a sophisticated and mature tone. But it's still also very fun.

I haven't heard of any of those series, but I'm glad you enjoy them 🙂 It's staggering to me just how much is out there for us to discover and explore.

Hi @rav3n
Re: hey there @fruitisgood welcome!! love watching movies, and i just got back into reading too. love fantasy genres, are you reading anything at the moment?

Did I mention I've been watching the new Dune movies 1&2 (2021 & 2024) and SciFi.
Some of my other favourites: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Stranger Than Fiction, Lars and the Real Girl, Moon, Oppenheimer, and Wes Anderson movies like "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". 🙂

@Zol I know you mentioned it earlier but yes the new Dune films are excellent. An aspect I particularly liked was how they were able to create that sense of immense size and weight with the crafts and buildings. and the score is wonderful too.

I can't get behind Wes Anderson films personally. I can appreciate them and know they're well loved, and the cinematography and sets are lovely.

yes @fruitisgood Wes Anderson movies can be a bit odd, awkward and painful so I don't like all bits of them, but I do admire them and the craft put into them.

Hello, recently had a hospitalisation and have CPTSD as well as Bipolar 1, which is a new diagnosis. I feel quite isolated as I work and do stuff that other people with my experiences would not be able to do. I have my immediate family, but no other family or friends to be able to talk to or reach out for support. It is really hard to go through these depressive then manic episodes. When I come out of mania, I feel even worse cause all the things that I planned to do or got half way done, I can’t finish. I am so tired now, I think I need to catch up on sleep since coming out of mania, however I struggle without sleeping tablets. At the moment I am taking 3kinds of sleeping tablets to be able to get to sleep and stay asleep. I can’t do this forever as they are addictive. How does everyone else go to sleep? Thanks for listening.