Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

Thank u Tyme

No but I'll keep trying to keep busy so don't have to think to much.

Hope u goin ok too?!

hello and welcome @Liberty , @Gabstar , @Annette11

how are you today

Hi all

My focus is on health and mindfulness daily, and trying to find a better way each day...but

Last few years have been difficult to say the very least..lost both parents, divorced and estranged from my son and sisters ...had several failed relationships and continue to struggle with anxiety and depression and hide it pretty well I think from the outside world. My living and employment arrangements are unstable due to the economic climate effecting us all, seems like a perfect storm and my buckets not big enough to bail myself out of this one , however the ship hasn't sunk yet, my days are very busy with work which I'm not actually being paid for, just to keep the business going and sellable hopefully ...I listen to podcasts around wellness topics and self improvement, it's a good distraction from darker thoughts and ruminating about what ifs ..I look after the big 3 ..nutrition exercise and sleep as a constant focus, I hope to help others and in turn, learn and grow together, my friend circle is pretty much zero as I had lost a lot through self isolation and anxiety.

Anyway I'm here to learn share and grow, through shared experiences.

Welcome @Fireside

It sounds like you've got some really solid foundations for maintaining your wellbeing, and while I hear that you've been through (and are still going through) a lot, it's a real testament to your strength that you've been able to still search for those new ways to support yourself throughout this.

I hear that you've been a bit isolated and I hope that joining this community is a positive first step for you in finding some more connections through both the giving and receiving of support, which is what we're all about here

Hi all,

I decided to join the forums to talk to like minded people and possibly help people who have similar struggles to my own.

A little about me,

I'm female in my early 30s, I love making stuff, I knit, sew, crochet, draw and write. I also make resin and clay jewellery and trinkets.

I've been diagnosed with

Anxiety

Social anxiety

Depression

Panic disorder

C-PTSD

D.I.D

ADHD

Audio and visual psychosis (hallucinations)

Paranoia

I came into the world unwanted. My mother chose to give birth and chose not to put me up for adoption but she then resented me my whole life because of how I came to be. I was neglected and abused. Then I was put in foster care at 5 and sexually abused, I ran away joining a group of foster care runaways at 8 where I met a man who took advantage of me and my best friend for almost a year. We escaped him but she took her life we were almost 10. I ended up in a childrens mental health ward for 6 months after trying to take my own life. Children services were informed while I was there and I was sent to a home for troubled children before being sent back to my mother. In the time I was away from my mother she had 4 more children who she showered with affection I basically became a house maid till I turned 13 when she met a man who got her on drugs then I had to be a mother too. By the time I was 14 I was raising my siblings basically on my own my mother rarely came home and I basically dropped out of school, I turned to alcohol when my siblings were at school. I only drank enough to numb everything but not so much I couldn't be there for my siblings. I was 16 when children services took my siblings away and they were adopted by their foster family. I was back I hospital after being found by a lake and revived twice over the following week. My mother died that same week, I refused to go to her funeral. My siblings new parents heard about what happened to me and their mother's sister took me in but I retreated inside myself and by the time I came out of my mind 2 years had passed. I was diagnosed with CPTSD and DID the following year. With the help of my new family I was able to get mentally stable and complete a year 12 equivalency course through Tafe. I also was able to still have a relationship with my siblings but it was as a big sister who lived with their aunt rather then a mother figure. By the time I was 25 I had been diagnosed with the rest of it and heavily medicated. I can't work and I now rely on oxygen mask most of the day to breathe due to damage to my lungs. But I have a husband, 2 adorable sons and a family who cares and supports me. I don't think I'll ever fully heal from my childhood but I don't let it define me anymore.

Hey @Beyondcrazy

Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you had such a difficult start to life. Glad you found us. You sound very creative, good for you! Do you sell your jewellery and trinkets? Or make them for family and friends?

Hi @Ainjoule

Thankyou for welcoming me.

I have thought about selling but at the moment I just give them away for birthdays and Christmas or I take them to op shops when I have too many made items

@Beyondcrazy

I am so sorry that you struggled through your whole childhood. What happened wasn’t fair and it is not your fault. You are a good person, you are enough and you deserve to be loved!

I have lived through childhood trauma too. My anxiety got so bad that I spent 2 years asleep in bed for 18 hours per day. Just doing the bare minimum for my kids in the afternoon after they got home from school. I have bipolar, bpd and not diagnosed ADHD. I struggle to be functional. I have a wonderful supportive and caring husband and 3 adult children

Wow @Beyondcrazy what a journey!! Thank you for sharing. I can hear that you have had to survive some truly horrible times. But I also can see immense strength and resilience too. I know those words can feel like a double-edged sword sometimes cos like... You should never have had to become so resilient!! What happened to you was so deeply unfair, but the person who has come out the other side is not someone who is then going to make it everyone else's problem. Kudos! I think it is summed up perfectly by your final line, "I don't let it define me anymore"; it's just dripping with empowerment!! Gives me the good shivers 😁

@Jynx thankyou and it took a long time to get to where I am today, I spent many years angry that I hadn't died and holding onto anger and hate especially towards my mother.