why am i like this

Hey @Eden1919 I can sit with you if you like. What music are you listening to? 💜

@Jynx i have been listening to some beyonce songs. idk i am just i really feel like crying and i dont know why and and i am really confused about what the psychologist was saying and idk i just feel bad and scared still.

@Eden1919 Aww nice, Beyonce is always good for getting ya groove on!

Hmm so you're trying to figure out how to feel about your psych being worried about you? I am really hearing that you're feeling quite a mess right now. Sometimes distractions help, sometimes having a big cry helps. And sometimes, it really is just about riding it out. Trying to accept that you may not be able to work out exactly why you're feeling this way.

What do you feel scared of?

@Jynx i am scared because idk who is a human and who isnt and the angels keep asking me to do stuff and i keep hearing this man and i cant sleep i havent slept in weeks and i dont know what to do anymore and this whole world doesnt look right and and everything is too much and i want to cry and i am so fed up and i just tried talking to a helpline and they made things a lot WORSE like really they have just really badly upset me and and now i am even more on edge and it was stupid of me to talk to them in the first place and i am just i cant deal with all of this.

I really hear you @Eden1919 that the whole world feels like it's wonky, that is super scary! And it sounds like things are very loud for you in your mind right now. I find that if my mind is loud or racing, it helps to focus instead on my body. Doing something physical that requires some focus. Like if you got Beyonce playing loud, could you jump up and have a bit of a dance? I often use dance as a way to cope with my stress - I imagine that with each flail of my arms I'm flinging the stress out of my body. Or when I jump from one foot to the other, I'm stomping all the bad vibes into the ground.

I am sorry to hear that talking to a helpline was the opposite of helpful! Sometimes you just end up on the phone to the wrong person for you in that moment. Deep breaths, and remember that isn't anyone's fault!

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time @Eden1919 Sending hugs.

There are times when I feel like crying and try to stop myself. But sometimes when I do allow myself to cry it can feel like I am letting all the emotions out rather them being bottled up inside me. And the crying exhausts all my thinking energy so I go a bit numb and exhausted.

I have also had experiences with helplines that feel like they have made it so much worse. Sometimes I am willing to try again and hope I get someone who I can relate to. But sometime the experience with the helpline is so bad that I don't want to try again. Whatever feels right for you is ok. You can still seek support here on forums anytime.

@Jynx @CrazyChick Thank you both.

I am trying to stay calm but I am still really scared and I didn’t sleep again and I keep thinking that my psychologist and some of the other mental health professionals are planning to hurt me and idk what to do plus the angels keep wanting me to do something I don’t want to do and it is scary and idk what to do and my head won’t stop and there is too much noise and I can’t focus properly and I just don’t feel right.

Hi there @Eden1919 ,

I'm so sorry to hear its such a tricky one today also, it sounds like it can get really frightening for you.

Is there something manageable you can do this morning/afternoon, spend some time with a pet or loved one, play some great music, take a shower, do some drawing and/or painting, anything that might feel best for you right now and won't take too much energy or focus? Or might it be worth reaching out to a friend/professional or other preferred support if you are needing to have a chat today?

Just a reminder that we are here supporting you with our whole community and wish the best for you and your day ahead.

With much care and gratitude,

Otter

@Otter I have been listening to music and watching movies but it isn’t helping. Idk everything is a mess.

I dont know what to do i feel really bad and i am so tired but no matter what i do i cant sleep and there is so much going on and i am so scared that my psychologist and CM are not actually human and they are planning to hurt me and idk who is a human and who is a demon creature and the angels want me to do something i really dont want too and i am really scared becuase they say i have to get out of this world soon because i am not mean to be here and that that is the only way out but i dont think i can do what they are asking and no one here is a human and it is complicated and hard to explain and i just want to cry but i cant seem to do that either and idk how to make everything ok and i want to scream and idk what to do i tried the helplines but they made it worse and i tried a friend but they cant help and i cant talk to my family and i just verythign is a mess and i cant seem to fix it.