Struggling

Thinking of you @RedHorse I hope you're OK. Are you home yet? All the rain would be making things very soggy.

Yes how is @RedHorse havent heard from you lately

@Hello my forum friends @perspective

@Dimity

I'm back 🙋

I returned to a quagmire on the afternoon of Monday 10th October. I think it rained almost every day I was away. Have had quite a few dry, sunny days since I've returned which I have wasted laying in bed bemoaning my lack of indoor amenities.

Just as you both mentioned (and I decided after discussion with my daughter and SIL while I was away) something has got to give with my current living situation.

Living close to nature is one thing, but being without the tools for rudimentary self care and access to basic services is another.

So I am looking at other off-grid or partially off-grid living options. More on this as it develops.

At the moment the caravan looks like I was burgled while away and the admin tasks I was going to take with me but left behind at the last minute are stacked willy nilly on the sofa.

I'm sure you get the idea. I must go to sleep now in order to get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow.

I hope things are going okay for you @perspective and that things look up for you soon @Dimity

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

It's good you're back @RedHorse and even if you're refreshed and perhaps have a new mindset - contemplating the possibility of change - some quiet days readjusting are to be expected. I sincerely hope you weren't burgled and you're just referring to the unpacking and stuff you haven't stashed yet. Hopefully the quagmire is drying after some sun.

I have a pile of admin stuff too, mine's on the kitchen table and adjoining shelves. I've forgotten how to have a dedicated workspace, and you probably don't have room for one.

How's the vegetable garden? Lush and verdant? Are you planting any summer crops?

No I wasn't burgled @Dimity, it would have taken an extremely dedicated 4WDriver to get in here and I don't have anything of value in the caravan.

It was as you surmised, there's stuff spilling off every surface due to the lack of dedicated unpacking and my trademark disorganisation.

Today I achieved one of the several administration tasks awaiting my attention and brushed my teeth properly for the first time in a few days. Nothing to post on the Daily Achievements thread about. Just another day struggling with anxiety and depression.

I haven't really gotten into the garden (or anything else) yet but everything survived while I was away, it having been well watered.

At first glance the tomatoes, capsicums, asparagus and spinach + oregano are showing the most growth.

Hope that your day was okay and your sense of impending doom has lifted.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Hi @RedHorse I'm just thinking about bed.... I tend to dislike the thresholds of going to bed and getting up where the day turns over.

Glad you weren't actually burgled and the veggies are still productive. Down south tomatoes and capsicums usually die off in winter.

I've booked the cat in for his vaccination and dealt with the support agency. I can't afford help for very long without major changes so need to set clear and timebound goals. My sense of doom and symptoms are probably my anxiety, I've had tests in the past that found nothing major and I fear stigma.

Well done with your admin and self-care. It can be an effort.

When you're ready I'll be interested in your ideas for sustainable offgrid improvements. It's an impossible dream for me. But I've flagged transport and companionship for nature walks as part of my wishlist.

I'm struggling just to get out of bed these days. Not looking after myself. Spending alot of time in tears. Am safe but miserable.

I hear you @RedHorse sometimes it's hard to always look after ourselves. What has helped in the past? 💙

I can't think of anything at the moment @Paperdaisy

I live off grid in very basic circumstances and have recently returned from an interstate trip where I spent 3 weeks in a modern house with indoor amenities.

I think I'm having trouble readjusting and am resenting my living circumstances.

It's very wet here and I have a leech problem in my kitchen and bathroom areas so I am just avoiding them altogether but it's reaching critical levels in that I feel so bad in myself.

I lack the energy and motivation to deal with the problems in my environment.

I'm also very isolated and haven't been onto the forum in a while - perhaps connecting with others on here has helped in the past - so thanks for hearing me.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Hey @RedHorse Thank you for sharing that with me. That does sound really challenging. I feel overwhelmed when my living environment gets away from me and it's not like what you're describing so I really feel how hard that would be and how overwhelming that would feel.

There must have been something that took you there in the first place. Do you like living off grid or do you feel you want to change your environment?