Struggling

It's great you've made the travel arrangements @RedHorse . The selfcare and personal preparation might feel different at first but you owe it to yourself.

I'm a bit bogged down at the moment and just getting by from day to day. Tomorrow the forecast is 19 after a cold week so I might be able to get into the garden if I'm not so tired and sore.

Thanks for your support @perspective and @Dimity

I've tried not to stress over the weekend with mixed results.

I hope you got out into the garden and are feeling better in yourself @Dimity

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Thanks @RedHorse but no... I've hit a wall atm and can't really see my way forward.

Hope you're still doing OK.

Best wishes

Dimity

Sorry to hear that you are struggling @Dimity and I hope things are looking up for you since your post.

Did you manage to get to see your GP for another MH Care Plan? Talking with your psychologist may help you through this difficult time.

I can certainly relate to hitting a wall and am muddling my way through with the reward of seeing my daughter later this month, front and centre. I don't know why I am struggling so much with the arrangements given the wonderful end point. It's a mystery.

I hope you find some peace this weekend.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Hello Forum Friends

It's me reaching out for support again, even though I am not sure that I deserve it.

After reading some of the problems others have shared on the site I feel my issues fade into insignificance.

Nevertheless here I am again looking for someone to sit with me as I struggle through a day preceded by nightmares and distress.

Just when I start to get a handle on participating in life and not hiding away in bed something triggers me taking me back to some trauma from long ago, leaving me feeling fragile and hopeless.

I really want to lift myself out of this black hole of despair which sees me obsessing and catastrophising every little detail of my life but I keep sliding back...

I am still safe and simply sick and tired of struggling through each day.

Hello @RedHorse

I'm sorry to hear you've been triggered and are struggling. These days I'm more self-accepting and analytical when it comes... I wonder what the trigger was, and I recognise that the wave of vivid recollections is in itself not harmful although my body expresses extreme anxiety... I let it wash over me and it lessens. I've intermittently practised meditation and the self-calming discipline has helped a little I think. Sporadic intrusive thoughts may happen for a while but they also pass.

My life now is so circumscribed that triggers are uncommon but I don't recommend that as a solution... loneliness is insidious, and I fear ongoing isolation.

Hoping you rally and the trauma dissipates @RedHorse . Take care,

Dimity

Thanks for your reply @Dimity, perhaps I need to step away from the trigger response and try to analyse it more objectively.

Meditation has also helped me in the past and is something I need to try again now to calm and centre myself.

I hope you are doing okay @Dimity

Once again I really appreciate your response.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

It's raining again.

The weather and being stuck inside the caravan is really starting to get me down.

I'm catastrophising about not being able to get out to go visit my daughter, although I have 4WD transport organised so it shouldn't be a concern.

More relevant issues are:

-How am I going to cope with the travel and trip?

-Will my daughter be shocked at the state I am in following this intense depression?

-Should I warn her?

-Why am I still struggling just to get out of bed each day with something so wonderful coming up?

-And what's with this sense of impending doom that's sneaking up on me?

-When will even the most simple of tasks like basic self care cease to exhaust me?

-Will I manage to pack and label my bag?

-Have I set myself up to fail myself and my daughter?

-Why am I so anxious and emotional?

-Why can't I just relax, even for a moment?

-Why am I so useless?

I don't expect any answers to these questions.

I'm just venting.

I am safe, just a little distressed.

heya @RedHorse, the rain often makes me feel very stuck too. Sorry it's been getting you down ❤️

It sounds like you've got a lot of worries about the upcoming trip which are making you stressed. Which is very understandable given it's been so long since you've seen your daughter.

I wonder if there's anything you would find useful to talk about on here? For example, we could talk through the question which you feel is more important or "taking up space"?

TuxedoCat

PS. I hope writing them down helped. I know when my brain is going fast, writing my thoughts on paper can really help ❤️

Hello @RedHorse just doing a Tuesday evening check in …see what your up to