Not sure what's out there.

Hi Zoe7,

You sound a little like me. I too am a teacher. Until I went on Workcover I liked being in my own company and still do but, there's only so much alone time one can take before going stir crazy.

I too didn't like the prospect of group work but, I was surprised how much it filled a void. I used to be such a people person but, at present due to my condition I get highly irritated by others. Such a catch 22 situation, crave contact but, get highly annoyed..... gggrrrhhh.

Blasted unseen cruel illnesses which good people suffer with!

Good to hear you have been able to find comfort in communicating with others, along with your furbabies 🙂

Hey Miranda, I admire your tenacity. I share your pain about having no friends etc. it’s such a bad feeling s as bad I think we don’t think of it as something that happens to adults. I hope you find some people to walk with - I’m in perth so I may as well be on Mars.

We do seem to have some similarities @Miranda72 ...and yes our mental illness(es) do hinder us in so many ways but they can also be a positive. I find I am more empathetic and more understanding of others and they are great attributes to have in teaching. None of my kids ever are left feeling unheard or unsupported - first and foremost they feel cared for, happy and belong - their academic education always comes secondary. So in so many ways my own history and challenges make me a better teacher because I can put myself in their position knowing that being listened to, actually heard and cared for are primary for our kids.

I used to put my whole heart and soul (and time) into my job but now I have a much better balance. That has also helped me to de-stress and I find it much easier to switch off and enjoy other parts of my life. DBT was a very big contributor to that, as was the ability to 'let go' of my past. I don't forget but I also do not let it rule my life. I believe that we learn, we grow and we live because of and through our experiences but it is only in seeing them as they are - in the past - that we can move forward - and that is a valuable thing to learn. That does not diminish what we have been through or the struggles we have had but it does allow us to accept there are things we cannot change so the only avenue for change within ourselves is not let those things 'rule' our lives.

Gosh Scott76,

I'm not sure what Perth is like, I have heard it's a place that's kind of on its own away from the rest of Australia. So I can only imagine how much harder it would be to make friends! I know that's not much comfort but, I'm not sure what else to say without sounding shallow.

Please take care! Wishing you all the best!!

Hi Zoe7,

I absolutely agree that these conditions can make us more empathetic and offer our students compassion. Unfortunately due to the BPD my values regarding this meant I actually loved working with the students like yourself on the pastoral level and I actually adored working with their parents who do a tremendous job but, my views were rigid when trying to work alongside unit leaders and principals who generally in my experience had no idea about compassion or value for others which is why there are so many toxic work environments in education. However, when dealing with the Department itself, I have found them really helpful when it came to domestic violence etc. a far cry from what has been on offer in the workplace setting. These attitudes overshadow all the good work in education when you are going through such turmoil and not supported when it is needed 😞

I hear you with the 'powers that be' often being less supportive @Miranda72 I have had mixed experiences - my Principal, when I first became unwell, was very supportive. Unfortunately whilst I was off work she moved to another school and the Principal that took over was not only unsupportive but added to my issues. She was not a people person and made my return to work very difficult. I requested to move schools (had been there for over 10 years) and was placed temporarily in a school closer to home. The Ass Princ there was amazing and very, very supportive. After a year I was moved to the school I am in now and my Principal (and senior staff) are amazing. Along the way the department itself was not great. As it was not workers comp they really had no idea how to deal with my situation - which is a flaw in their processes. My first case worker was useless but the one that took over was great - so very mixed support for me ...but I am grateful for where I am now.

Just a little tip for you hon - if you type in an @symbol it will give a drop down box where you can select the name of the person you are replying to. This then sends a notification and email to that person so they know you have replied to them 👍😁

@Zoe7

Thank you for the drop-down box reply tip! Interesting to hear about your experiences with work and really glad you are happy with your current place 🙂

I've only just got up, which is starting to creep in again. I need that walking incentive!!

Hey @Miranda72 Yes my current school is wonderful. We have very good senior staff that actually care about people. The kids are gorgeous and most of my colleagues are lovely too. There are of course those handful that prioritise themselves and their needs but that is life.

Did you manage to get up and go for a walk?

@Zoe7

Thank you for asking about such a simple thing but, no I didn't. Today has been a very black day for me. I carried on trying to research ideas. Called SANE and MIND, no answer so must have been understandably busy. Tried to do some mindfulness and ended up messaging my psychologist in tears. Had to go food shopping to stop the crazy thoughts. Just got back but, I haven't been able to shake the dark thoughts 🙁

SANE can get really busy but it is worth persisting as they are wonderful @Miranda72

I very much remember those dark days Hon 😔 Don't beat yourself up about it - not every step we take is forward and that is okay. Life is not about being happy all the time - not humanly possible - but in getting through the darker days and hoping for better tomorrow. Here sitting with you ❤️