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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member 💜

Sorry to read that you're struggling.

That is very sad about your brother losing his daughter. 😢

I can imagine that it is very difficult for you hearing about your brother's struggle with PTSD.

You asked, how can you help your brother.

I guess the best thing you can do at the moment, is listen. For him, knowing that someone understands would be a huge help for him. How many people actually understand unless they have struggled with PTSD.

Personally I would find that a huge help, having someone listen and understand. I think your brother would too.

Sounds like you are finding it difficult hearing his struggles though.
Not easy for you at all.

Does your brother have phone numbers to ring when feeling in crisis? That he can ring when you're not coping with listening?

As for sharing with your brother that you have PTSD. I can't imagine that he would think badly of you, considering that he struggles with PTSD himself.

I have shared with people that I struggle with PTSD and I haven't felt judged, but they soon forget what I've said and are quick to talk about something else.

No one seems to really care, to be honest.

Hugs to you. 💜🌷🌸🌹🌼🌻🌺🌷

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Thanks @Former-Member for your reassurance.

I think I am mainly struggling because my brother is in such a 'fragile' state right now. And perhaps I may be in over my head. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I dont recognise if he is about to do something really stupid? I know he is being well monitored by his psych, but I guess I still feel responsible as well. And its hard when we live so far apart, its a 7 hour drive to get there. Maybe I will miss something, some vital clue.

Yes he has all the necessary numbers to call if needed. But there again if you really are in that state of mind, you probably wont call those numbers anyway? If you are really determined, you cant really stop it. And thats what I'm really worried about. I am very concerned for him.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Is your brother living alone? @Former-Member

Yes, I can imagine you are worried about him. How often do you keep in touch with each other? Does he have any family and friends close by, that he can talk to?

How are you going with sleeping at night. I remember that you said that you are on your own for a few weeks?

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Perhaps just letting your brother know that you are there for him, if he needs to talk. That might help him. @Former-Member

I just got home from a walk at the beach.

How's your weekend going?

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Thanks @Former-Member.

In answer to your question, no he doesnt live alone. He has his wife and two teenaged sons living at home on the farm.

Perhaps you are right that it may help him to know that he can talk to me if he wants to, and that perhaps I will understand. At least partly.

Did you enjoy your walk on the beach? The weather where I am has been wet all day, so not great for walking.

My weekend hasnt been too good so far, but perhaps an improvement tomorrow.

Thanks for your support @Former-Member. It helps.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

I hope you feel better tomorrow @Former-Member.
I'm glad your brother isn't alone.
I wouldn't worry too much about what to say to your brother. A listening ear might be what he needs and maybe a bit of encouragement to talk. 💕👍

Was good to get out for a walk. I've not been achieving much lately. Still haven't been able to get on top. 😯
Had to cancel psychologist this week, everything seems to be too much.
Hoping to get there next week.

I keep telling myself, this will pass. It has to.

Have you been sleeping ok?

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Morning @Former-Member.

I hope you are right, that a sympathetic and understanding ear may be just what my brother needs.

I am pleased to hear that you enjoyed your walk yesterday, its always nice to get out into the fresh air to clear the head a little bit.

Its not good that you cancelled your psych apt this week though. Hopefully you feel better able to go next week. Its ironic isnt it that we almost need to be feeling okay, in order to get to the psych appointments? And yet its when we feel least able to get there, that we really need to the most. I too keep telling myself that these bad times will improve, that my thought processes will become less dark, and that one day I may even feel like my previous self. But its hard when its such a struggle just to get through each day.

Sleep is still pretty crappy. Although last night after being awake pretty much all night up until 5.15am, I did finally fall into an exhausted sleep. And slept in until nearly 9am. Thats the best in a while now.

I hope today is kind to you @Former-Member, and also that you are kind to yourself. Take care.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member I hope your brother will be ok.
No real magic answer. Hard to know what he's really feeling or thinking. But, not much you can do for him. Being so far from him, all you can do is listen and try to comfort and encourage.

Bummer, you didn't sleep well. Quiet day for you. I'm slow today. Still tired. Better get moving. 💕

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Sending you hugs @Former-Member ❤️

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

How was your day @Former-Member? Thinking of you. 💕
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