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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Very true @Appleblossom. The hard work has started for me, but needs to continue. We'll hopefully all get there. xx

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

@Former-Member

Been active in rehab & movement therapies since back & neck issues began in late 1980s. Wanna talk nerves, dystonia, disc bulges arthritis and fascia? Was fit then, but overworked and stressed but given no relief. Tried more stretches and body modalities than the average punter. Best thing has been living on my own to isolate all stressors and manage them one by one. I now call the "events" and usually am crystal clear about onset and cause .. but each neck event is crippling, so I need to be very careful. Somehow people have "difficulties" when I politely ask for calm, or mention it, and they presume a great deal ...

Baseline pain is moderate but constant... 24/7 for 25 years... its why I dont take pain meds ... last resort .. do music for pain relief.

Today it was just gardening .. and out in the sun to get me Vit D ... it was good to use my body constructively and raise a sweat.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

@Former-Member Really sorry to hear that you are still feeling awful, even after the nap.

I am just up from a nap myself, which I had after I got home from work around 2pm.

I do some pilates stretches too, but there are times I am unable to do even those without further aggravation, so I just need to be careful. Times like now I just tend to dose up a bit more on the anti-inflamatories which helps me get through. They do make me feel sick though, so I try not to be on the strong ones for very long. Shortest time possible.

I know what you mean about becoming more stressed and anxious during therapy. It happens to me like that also. Therapy just seems to keep everything so 'up front and centre' in our thinking, that it just keeps it all so fresh in our mind I guess. And the hard work and any progress as a result of therapy, is often not felt until it ceases for a time and allows everything to settle down again. Which is where I am currently at with my ongoing therapy. So far my break has been 7 weeks. Hopefully there is still some improvement to come.

And of course all the triggers you had over the weekend ......... well that never helps, does it? It just succeeds in keeping you on high alert and in a high state of anxiety all the time. All I can suggest is what I tried to do ... and that is to keep distracted as much as possible. Keep busy. For me work actually helps that side of things, even though its bad for my pain levels. But I also try to go walking and get some fresh air and get out there and do some mindfulness in nature, take Holly out for a walk. That often helps. Otherwise I try to find a decent movie on television to watch and take my mind of things for a bit. And I also like to do Sudoku puzzles and Crossword puzzles.

And thankyou so very much for the offer to chat here when hubby is away. That really means a lot. Although I am often up around the 2am to 3am mark, so I do hope that you arent up then too.

Yes the doors and windows will all be locked. And I will have my little guard dog cuddled up alongside me. Ha ha. I dont like leaving any lights on though, as I have no chance of sleeping if I do.

Thanks Bridget.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Sorry if I take a while to answer @Former-Member. 💕
Sometimes I don't have much to say, especially when I'm feeling low.
I try to distract myself. I use most of my energy doing errands, chores etc. When I have time to myself I don't have the energy to do fun things.
I do go out with daughter for lunch, shopping, walks etc.
The anti anxiety meds I use for emergencies are helping me with anxiety a bit, but making me feel way too tired. So I'm going to have to stop taking them and learn to live life without them. I have a break from them and know that they're there if I really need them. 😊
Thanks for chatting.
I need a nap now.
Are you feeling ok? 🌷🌻🌼

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Appleblossom 🌷🌻🌼
Sorry for not replying to your message the other day.
I did read it, then got distracted. 😯

Sounds awful that you have pain 24/7.
I guess I'm lucky that I can mostly relieve my pain with pilates stretches.
Years ago I didn't know this and had pain 24/7.
Glad you have your music. 😊



In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

When I get very low, I tend to write poetry. Here is my latest effort which I wrote yesterday about Anxiety.

Anxiety

Why is it that my anxious brain simply will not allow me to forget?

Some images and fears are still so vivid that I break into a cold sweat.

Therapy has helped me see that things are not always as they appear.

I've challenged my inner thoughts, and know there is nothing to fear.

Medication I take to reduce adrenalin which is needlessly produced.

Attempts to slow my heart and the hope that a restful sleep be induced.

But still this anxiety is a part of me, day and night, tearing me apart.

The shaking, inability to catch my breath, and madly beating heart.

It seems that anxiety will never leave me, so embrace it I must.

It is my body's natural alert system, and now I must learn to trust.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member, been wondering how you are with your partner away. Hope you are finding good things that feed the soul to do.

I am about to embark on a furniture project - have a bedside table, an old cane chair and a bedhead that I am going to spruce up with new paint. i have been hanging out for clear weather and I think it has finally arrived. I am painting with oil based paint (becaus eit survives knocks much better) so need to paint outdoors. Also all the sanding! The prep work is the grumph part.

Hope you have found some calm int he storms.

Moongal

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Thanks @MoonGal. It sounds like a good project. I hope the weather holds out for you. I am in NSW and we are expecting rain off and on over the coming days. Hopefully you have better weather where you are.

So this new project with the furniture. Is it for use in your own home or do you have plans to sell it, give it to someone, or some other plans?

I am managing thanks. I wouldnt say managing well, but I am getting by.

Not long back from work now, where I nearly fell asleep at the computer. Thankfully I had a few people coming in and out of my office this morning so it meant I couldnt nod off for long.

I am about to go lie down now for a while. Just so tired from not sleeping any more than a couple of hours over the past week.

Enjoy your project.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

@Former-Member, sorry to hear you are not sleeping much. But glad to hear youa re getting by.

The project is to refresh some furniture and harmonise it all to the same colour for the bedroom - it's all different colours at the moment, black, cream, white. So they will all become a Honey Buff colour. The walls are white so it should warm the room up. Something to look forward to.

I like a 'project". I painted our kitchen retro '50's last year... took six weeks but I got there!

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @MoonGal @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Kurra.

Firstly @MoonGal - You are really good at this reno game arent you? I love the new look of your 50's style retro kitchen. Terrific job! I'm sure your next project with the bedroom will be just as successful.

Well today I am struggling big time. I have been talking to my brother who is not doing too well right now himself. He had a bad car accident last year which resulted in serious spinal injuries to himself and the death of his 11yo daughter. After 14 months he is still unable to return to work. He started seeing a psychologist a few months ago and she then referred him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with PTSD. He seems to be going through a particularly difficult time right now and his psych is concerned for him.

So he psych is now phoning him at home twice a week and he goes to see his psych at least once a week on top of that. My brother calls him his 'carer'. He is having a lot of serious suicidal thoughts which they are all concerned about. He is a farmer and has firearms as a matter of course. He has now handed over the keys of his gun safe to the authorities at the insistence of his psych. And he has been told to never be at home alone during this particularly difficult time. So things are pretty bad.

I suffer from PTSD myself, and have suicidal thoughts as well from time to time. But I am having a lot of difficulty in coping with discussions with my brother about all this. I suppose it just brings everything back for myself as well. My own circumstances resulting in my PTSD were so totally different to what my brother is going through now. But PTSD has the same symptoms and results for most people. I feel as though I should be able to be more help than what I am. We have always been pretty close, and he seems comfortable in talking to me about most things. But he lives a long way away, so discussions are always over the phone.

Today I did something I've never done before today. I told my brother that I suffer from PTSD. The only others who know is my GP and my psych. And you guys who read my posts too of course. When he was discussing some of the things he is experiencing with his PTSD (anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts, nightmares) I told him that "I understood". He replied "How can you - you dont have PTSD". So I told him that I had been diagnosed only about 2 years ago with PTSD relating to something that happened 20 years ago. I didnt go into any details. But he did agree to phone me anytime that he was feeling overwhelmed or needed someone to talk to that understood. And if he was unavoidably on his own at home.

So now I am freaking out about having actually told someone about my own PTSD. What must he be thinking? Will his opinion of me be any different now?

Any suggestions on how I can cope with this new 'outing' of myself, and how I can be of more help to my brother?

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