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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD

Hello dear @Former-Member. Your post came through while I was responding to earlier posts

How lovely to hear from you. I must catch up with how you're doing, but trying to track down your thread. Or if you'd like, can you perhaps tag me next time you do an update there? I'd appreciate that. I often thing of you, but its been a while since we properly spoke. Gosh ... have you moved yet? How's hubby and daughter? No need to answer here, I will switch to your thread for further news. Just a bit excited to hear from you. xx

In my post just before this one, I have spoken about some of the self care things I hope to start doing. So I wont go into it all again.

Sherry

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you so much for your generous post @Former-Member.

I have read a few post from you, but do not know too much about your story. So please forgive my ignorance.

Yes Sane is a safe place and I have found the members here to be immensely helpful and supportive over the time I've been here. Just checked my profile - I've been here off and on since September 2016. It doesnt seem that long. But I guess a lot has happened in that time too.

I could never think of myself as being a hero, but wow, I feel honoured that you think that. So thank you ever so much. I too suffered in silence for the best part of 20 years, and I would not like other people to make the same mistakes I have done since that event a little over 22 years ago, which changed my life. I dont think I will ever fully come to terms with any of that, nor do I think I will ever really recover properly. But I am learning coping methods. Plus now that it is no longer my shameful secret, it has released some of the power over me. Although what happened remains a secret to everyone I know in real life, I have opened up quite extensively here on the forums. That has definitely been of benefit to me. And my psych as well, she's been truly a lifeline to me, and I'm very grateful.

I think when I first posted here, it was not an act of courage, but more a case of desperation. Nonetheless, opening up about my trauma has helped. I sincerely thank the many members here who made me feel comfortable enough to enable me to discuss highly traumatic and often very personal matters. And helped me to feel a little better about myself in the process. We all need a voice, and an outlet where it will be well received.

Thank you @Former-Member

Sherry

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD

Hey @Former-Member - thank you for tagging me - I often wonder how you are going but know you are going through a lot so don't want to tag you either - we are a fine pair aren't we

You are important to me too and have been such a great support in the past. I think we both went through a very tough period at about the same time and having that mutual understanding was invaluable

You have certainly continued to go through so much and I can understand why you have not been able to post here for some time. It is so nice to hear the positive steps you are taking for yourself - self-care often falls by the wayside when we are not well or caring for someone who is also unwell. You do need to do those things for yourself and I hope that helps you improve your mental health.

Even though it is taxing on you having your brother call so regularly it is also good for you to know where he is at as I know in the past you have really worried about him when he has been extremely low... I do understand how this is something that you don't need to be dealing with though with everything else you are going through.

The thing about art @Former-Member is that it is very subjective - what one person likes another does not so it is not about what you think is good or bad it is simply an expression of you and that can never be wrong. We need to do things we enjoy no matter how good we think we are at them - it is the enjoyment that matters

I hope this week is the beginning of doing those things for yourself that you enjoy and you start feeling alittle better within yourself as a result.

Always willing to listen to you @Former-Member - you really matter to me Hon

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

thank you for tagging me my friend @Former-Member, yes we do forget to look after ourselves as you take care of the ones we love

Last week I kept going and going with everything until i could not walk

mr shaz had to take me up to the hospital which i waited for an hour and a half to see the doctor , mr shaz anxiety was climbing higher and higher whle waiting -- I told him to go home and i will text him when i was ready but no he waited

Found out i had a bladder infection

we are here for you everyday my awesome friend , and sending you lots of tender hugs

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member

It was lovely to hear from you again also and to learn how you are going. I am always happy to chat with you- will tag you next time I update and will answer your questions then. Thanks for thinking of me.

Great to read that you have self care in place to put into practice already. You are a real trooper my friend. I have faith in you that as hard as it is you will come out even stronger for it and overcome. You are a survivor. And am here for you at any time you may need a friend. Look forward to catching up soon. 💖😘

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

Thanks @Zoe7 - yes a fine pair indeed. Yes its true that we can neglect ourselves at times. And as I mentioned earlier, I had been updating my Carers thread, but not this one. My psych last week stressed how important it is that I change the emphasis from others and back to me. Especially now when I seem to be struggling so much over a range of different pressures. Today is my art class, and I WILL be going. I agree about art being subjective Zoe, although I tend to like more of the realism side of art. I like to make things and people look real, rather than an interpretation of them. Hence my problem I guess. But I still enjoy the trying to get it right. Thanks so much for being there for me, both in the past and currently. xx

@Shaz51 - Really sorry to hear about the bladder infection. Not good, as it can make you really sick. I believe you were to see a Dr or the hospital today to get antibiotics to hopefully rectify things. I need to be careful about self care, which is why I have switched from Carers forum to here. At least for the time being. I hope you start to feel better real soon, as hopefully the ABs will kick in quickly.

@Former-Member I look forward to reading your next thread update. Thanks for your kind words, although right now I dont feel all of those things you said of me. Eg a real trooper or a survivor. Thanks for offering to be here for me. I can always use a friend. Cant we all? Remember to tag me, and remember that I'm here for you too. I admire you immensely. xx

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

Sometimes with art we obsess over 'getting things right' and it takes the enjoyment out of it @Former-Member. I was getting to that stage with my sister's painting until I asked her to look at it - and surprise, surprise - she loved it as it was - so I have left it in another room to dry. I hope you enjoy your art class today - maybe you could post something you have done on the art thread Through One's Eyes - would be great to see what you are working on

Your Swans beat my Lions on Saturday - looks like they are going to be right up with the top sides again this year - have you seen many games this season?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

hello @Former-Member

you said Today is my art class, and I WILL be going.-- way to go my friend enjoy

yes have a doctor`s appt soon to get some ab`s

did 4 hours cleaning this morning -- 2 houses , boy very sore now

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD

Re: Living with PTSD

Yes @Zoe7, I'm like that with art. I obsess trying to get it just right. But then it loses its spontaneity. So I can understand what you're saying about your sisters painting. Really pleased to hear that she loved it. I have been working on a portrait of my neice actually. The 11yo who died in the car accident. I'm working from a photo taken about a year before the accident. When they last visited us here. I started a couple of months ago, but with everything thats been happening since then, I have put it away and forgotten about it. But I will pull it out soon and get going on it again. I was happy with it at the time. Its just that I was away so much while hubby was in hospital for a month that I never had time to do any more on it.

Yes I got to my art class today. This term we are doing botanical art, ie plants. Working on leaves today - things like getting the veins right, the colours, textures, etc. And methods of getting it accurately onto the page. So I wouldnt put it on the art thread, as its pretty uninteresting looking. Gotta get the techniques right though.

I have posted previously to the art thread though I think. So there should be some of my stuff on there from a few months back.

Yes, the mighty Swannies! The Lions had a good win the week before though, so I was a bit wary of them last weekend. Especially when the weather conditions were not great, I figured that would favour the Lions. I have seen most of the Swannies matches this year so far. We dont get to any live games unfortunately. We are too far from Sydney, and hubby hasnt been up to leaving home. I wouldnt go on my own anyway. But something to think about if his health improves enough to get there.

@Shaz51 - Yes I got to my art class, so theres one tick in the box for the week. Aiming for gym class tomorrow and/or volunteer duties at the nursing home on Wednesday. I will be happy if I get two of the three. One down.

I hope Shaz that your Dr appointment went well. Hey good for you getting 4 hours cleaning done today! Thats a big effort for someone who is clearly very unwell. No wonder you're sore too, cleaning is jolly hard work. Now sit down and take it easy for a while. Take a soak in the bath or a long hot shower.

Thanks ladies.

Sherry xx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD

Ooops @Bunniekins, I missed replying to your post yesterday. Really sorry. I read it, but missed replying as I was doing some hit and miss posts there.

Anyway ... thank you. You always are the sweetest @Bunniekins, or superest @Bunniekins perhaps is more appropriate to your new profile pic.

Yes little Holly is a sweetie isnt she? She does have a happy intelligent look on her face. I will try to keep her face back on here a bit more than I have been of late.

I hope you've not had any more dreadful nights as you did last week with your son? Really hope everything has settled. Will talk more another time.

Sherry

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