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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Im sorry things are still tricky @Former-Member i quite enjoy your company 👍🙏

Anything i can help with tonight?

Yeah at least the tests have been able to rule things out so thats a start. Im hoping a loan is in the near future. Ill check in the next day or 2 to see if it says anything online. I already paid it off in advance 2 months ago so im surprised it didnt let me a few days ago. Itll get there eventually i suppose those...

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@NatureLover

I read elsewhere that you had a better day today (or yesterday now that its once again nearly 1am) so I was very happy to hear that.

Well done on identifying that you need to cut back on your hours on the forums in order to self care. Your obligations as a CG are not onerous or unreasonable. I also know from seeing you around as much as I do, that you do way over the minimum requirement you signed up to undertake. Its just a matter of self discipline I think, and realising your own personal limits. Sometimes that may mean leaving some posts unanswered.

I'm sorry you dont currently have a thread where you can talk more about whats going on for you personally. Do you think it could be worthwhile making a new thread, something a little more general where you can talk about a lot of other things going on for you in real life? It sounds like you no longer feel you can ask for the support you need on your germophobe thread, so a new thread could be a solution for you.

As for not tagging and inviting comment or support for yourself ... nonsense! Just because you are now a Guide, does not mean you suddenly no longer need support too. Everyone loves and appreciates you here NatureLover ... we all like to try to help others too. And if you're down or need support ... please dont hesitate to tag me. And I know many other grateful members would feel exactly the same way. The fact is ... everyone here on the forums is likely going through horrible things. But so are you.

I have been meaning to write on your Germophobe thread since last week. My apologies I just havent got there yet. But I will. Its on my to-do list. Although my OCD does not include germophobia or hoarding, I feel sure my own particular brand of OCD, results in similar thoughts and feelings. So I would like to contribute at some point. Please do not hesitate to tag me there, or anywhere, any time. I am always happy to listen, and I do care.

Sherry 💖

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Very exhausting @Former-Member

Will catch up soon. Need to try and sleep now. 🥰

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Sans911 ... I'm sorry I made you feel awkward. Yes I understand all that you wrote, and I thank you. However, I'm not sure you really understand my situation. I personally do not have an issue with anybody here on the forums, and it upsets me that anyone has an issue with me. But I cannot change that situation, so the only way I can manage it is to avoid a large number of threads. I know that is confusing and difficult for everyone, but thats just how I've been told to handle the situation ... avoidance.

The forums are a constantly (and sometimes rapidly) changing beast, thats for sure. And you dont have to be absent for long before you notice the changes, and can subsequently feel a little lost. I guess sometimes we have to find a new place for ourselves. Yes I think people care about me too, and I believe I have a place here. I just have to find my new place I guess. That may require some big changes though, and right now those big changes are too hard. I'm not comfortable in crowds either. Its easy to feel as though you're lost, unheard, or even unworthy of being heard. And yes, I do feel that way sometimes.

@outlander thanks sweetie .. no I'm all talked out now, and am heading off to bed. I hope your pain meds kick in for you quickly, and that you get a decent sleep.

Good night.

Sherry 🌺💤

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

You deserved an answer @Former-Member, so that was only fair.

Yeah, I'm a bit talked out too. Goodnight xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Good night @Sans911 ... and thank you. 💕🙏💤

@Former-Member .. sleep well. 🤗🌸

@Lee82 thinking of you as you continue to struggle. You too @Former-Member .

Hello @Faith-and-Hope ... I hope you had a reasonable Sunday.

Night all

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Goodnight @Former-Member 😴💖

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks for your long response, @Former-Member .


@Former-Member wrote:

@NatureLover

Its just a matter of self discipline I think, and realising your own personal limits. Sometimes that may mean leaving some posts unanswered.

You're right, and I know this. I'm still in the process of working out my time limits on the forums, and learning to live with the unanswered posts.

I will think about a new thread, although I feel comfortable on the Germophobe thread. Plus then I would have 3 threads! (Including the HSP one) 😮 Wouldn't that get complicated?


@Former-Member wrote:

Everyone loves and appreciates you here NatureLover ... we all like to try to help others too.


Thank you for your kind words, as well as your offer of tagging you. Yes, I know that even when people here are going through simply awful things themselves, they are still so supportive. I have been blown away.

There's absolutely no pressure or need to respond on the Germophobe thread (although of course I would always welcome it). But I mean, I really don't want to add to your To Do list, which is already long enough I am guessing!

I'm sorry to read that yesterday wasn't a good day for you. I'm hoping today is much better.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)


@Sans911 wrote:
I've not spoken about this to anyone, but even though I only had a short break from the forums, when I came back, many things had changed. People I knew well had formed new connections & relationships with others. I felt a lot out of place. Did I belong here anymore? Belonging is something I've struggled my whole life with. When I came to the forums 3 years ago, I felt I belonged. People accepted me for me. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. Now I'm not sure of my place here any more. That's part of my struggle right now. I know people still care about me. But some days I feel like I'm lost in a crowd here. Perhaps you feel a bit the same.

Dear @Sans911 , I was sad to read this, and sad too as I know I'm a part of that. Sad also as me (or anyone) withdrawing would not be a healthy response, which leaves you struggling. I know that one day I'll probably feel the same. You've been so kind and welcoming to me, and I really appreciate your wisdom. For what it's worth, you definitely belong here, and I am still finding my feet.

And it's obviously the same for you, too, @Former-Member .

I am not good with change myself. I really hope that both of you are back to feeling comfortable soon, belonging and valued, which you definitely are.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Good morning to you @NatureLover, and thank you for your thoughtful response.

As far as you having 2 threads already, I dont see that as being a problem, and I dont think the forum regulations limit the number of threads we open. I note that your Germophobe thread is in the "Your Stories" section, so that would be considered as your main thread. The one which relates to your general story, background and journey towards wellness. Its just unfortunate that the heading title is very specific and not something that many people experience.

The other thread you opened .... Being a Highly Sensitive Person and Mental Health I notice is located in the "Looking After Ourselves" section. To me, that means its more of an information thing and something that members can look up and locate if they are looking for that specific topic. Again, its very specific.

I dont think it would be complicated if you were to open another thread where you could concentrate on seeking personal support of a more general nature. Perhaps give it some more thought. Another possibility could be to amend the title name of your Germophobe thread, to make it a little less specific, to logically make it more inclusive to others. I dont know, maybe include OCD in the title? Not sure ... obviously it has to work for you.

This thread of mine ... Living with PTSD ... is all encompassing of what I live with and go through every day. All my MH issues relate very specifically to my history of trauma and my PTSD diagnosis. So it suits me very well, and I am completely on-topic when discussing my everyday battles and difficulties. Because its all related.

You are so right @NatureLover ... the members here are a fantastic supportive bunch of people. The forum people blow me away every day too with their understanding and their care of others. And that very much includes you as well.

I know there is no pressure to respond to your Germophobe thread ... but I would like to. And I will get to it, its just that other things keep coming in between me and that. Ever changing priorities and 'spotfires' emerging.

Yes unfortunately yesterday was not a good day for me at all. I dont know, I may need to take another break. Things are starting to get the better of me again, and I'm getting to the stage where I dont trust myself any more. Not sure ... I will reassess my feelings on the matter in the coming days.

I totally agree with what you said to @Sans911. She is indeed a very kind and welcoming person, full of wisdom. Sans input is always valued and always appreciated by many here, including myself.

Similar to you NatureLover, I am not great with change. Its odd to think that I have been here for nearly 4 years now. And its only really in the past 6 months or so that I have noticed that change seems to have become the norm. Much of it is good, but some of it is difficult to adjust to.

@Former-Member ... thank you for your tag to the Good Morning thread. As always, its lovely to see you on the forums. Did you say that you were already at the beach when you posted earlier? Lucky you. Its a nice day where I am today. Much better than yesterday, which was wet and cold. I know the beach and the ocean are calming for you, so I really hope that has helped to begin your week on a good note.

@outlander ... thinking of you Li'l One. Sorry for being so down in the dumps last night. It wasnt being very supportive to you. I should be around a bit today, if you need someone to talk to.

@Molliex ... I recall you are to have more tests soon, but unsure when that will be. How are you feeling today? Did your dinner with friends coming over on the weekend go okay? Hope these tests can soon determine what needs to be done. Hoping the outcome is a positive one. My thoughts are with you throughout this ongoing ordeal you are enduring.

Sherry 🤗💕
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