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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member hugs

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you @Peri 🙏💓 Its really good to see you again.

Yes you're right ... I do get a lot of support here, for which I am very grateful. I never take it for granted though, because I know it can be very easily lost or taken away.

I'm sorry to hear that you also have a couple of anniversaries which affect you each year. Unfortunately dates and numbers in general stick in my mind. My mind is very number and date orientated, so its really hard to forget or even ignore anniversary dates. They are just there ... and as my psych says ... even if my mind were to forget some anniversaries, my body will often remember. I know that is the case with my trauma incident. So thats really hard.

Yes you have been a little quiet again this past week, after being more active on the forum around a couple of threads. It was lovely to see you on the Seniors thread that @Former-Member started. But EOR has been super busy these past few days, as she packs and gets ready for her move from NSW to QLD. This will happen on Tuesday, so EOR has been very very busy. Hence the reason that her thread has been quiet this past week too. Hi @Former-Member 👋 ... I hope the packing is going well. You must be essentially living out of a suitcase by now? I hope the aching body is holding up for you, and if you need anything heavy lifted that you can enlist the help of a neighbour or something.

@Peri Sorry that your granddaughter and then your son have been ill on consecutive weekends. That never makes for a happy household. I hope they are recovering now, and that you dont now catch the illness as well. Oh dear ... custody issues can be such a distressing thing to have to go through. I'm really sorry that you all have to go through that process. I hope that eventually something suitable for everyone is worked out.

I guess its good that you are not feeling depressed as such. But sadness is not good either. If I recall correctly, weather can play a part in how you feel. As I suppose it does for many people. Do you thing is could be SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) perhaps? Otherwise known as winter depression. Its very common apparently, and I have heard people on the forums talking about it before ... some having been diagnosed officially.

Anyway Peri, it was lovely to see you today. And yes, please consider writing about how you are feeling, on your thread. I will keep a look out for your updates.

Cold and wet here today .. quite miserable really. Lit up our wood fire this afternoon, first time this season. Been relying on air conditioning up until now. But thought I would brighten and warm the place up a bit with a good roaring fire. Its nice and toasty warm right now. But I guess I'd better go get some dinner happening now. Talk again soon.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello my friend, I am sorry I havent responded to your questions. How are you doing lovely?

I am switching in and out a lot and that is exhusting the body and mind. I can't stay present for long or I am asleep. Horse therapy went well, I worked with a gorgeous girl named Lacey and Kimmy got to take Ella and her friend Scotty for a walk.

Hope you have a peaceful night. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member how are you going?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Sans911 wrote: Not Coping thread:

I see you in the background @Former-Member. No need to respond but you're more than welcome to if you want.


@outlander wrote: Not Coping thread

@Former-Memberyes please join in if you feel ok, your most welcome here

Thanks @outlander @Sans911 for the invite to take part in your conversation and post on the Not Coping thread. I feel sure you would welcome me there. But unfortunately, much as I would like to, its not possible right now. I cannot go into the reasons, other than to say that I am following suggested advice. Sadly, I was reminded of the reasons why I do this, after reading a post elsewhere today.

@outlander .. thanks for posting here earlier, and asking after me. I'm so/so I guess. I was okay yesterday, not so good today. Li'l One I am so sorry that nothing has been determined as being the cause of the pain and other symptoms as yet. That is very disappointing and disheartening for you. At least it appears that the pancreas mass is not a major cause of concern. If nothing more, at least the tests you've had so far, has determined that. I hope you can now get in to have the gastroscopy done in the near future. Its really good that your specialist is prepared to bulk bill his fees and that of the anaesthetist. You must soon be able to get another advance from Centrelink, so maybe thats an option to raise the $800 needed for the hospital fees.

@Sans911 I have been wondering if I have said something to upset you lately? Although you have posted a couple of times to my thread here recently, you have not addressed me, only others. Perhaps you just havent got anything to say to me, in which case thats fine. But if you would like me to stop tagging you here, please let me know. I am happy to do that if it will make things easier for you. I respect that your loyalties lie elsewhere, and I do not hold any hard feelings whatsoever.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member ... It was a relief to hear from you today. There is no need to respond to my questions, and no need to reply if you dont feel up to it. Just know that I am here for you if or when you need a listening ear.

It must be so exhausting for you all to be constantly switching alters.

I read that you have not had any success as yet in getting a hospital admission. I hope Sean keeps trying for you. What a godsend Sean has proven to be ... he sounds like such a nice caring and very patient man. I'm so glad that he is there for you and doing such a good job at keeping you all as safe as possible.

Happy to hear that horse therapy went quite well. Lacey sounds delightful, and I'm really pleased to hear that little Kimmy got to see her pony Ella, plus Scotty for a walk. I think you said Kimmy was a little afraid, but it sounds like she is gaining confidence around the horses now. Thats really good.

Its now after midnight, so I hope you are sleeping peacefully. And I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, than what you've been having this past week or more.

Talk again next time you're around. 💓🤗🌺🐴

@Shaz51 @Snowie ... thank you lovely ladies for your posts to me earlier today. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated. 💕🙏

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hey @Former-Member--there's nothing that you have done to upset me at all, and yes I'm OK with you continuing to tag me here if you wish to do so. I totally respect that being 'here' is your safe space right now.

And it's not a matter of 'loyalties' either why I don't post much here to you. I'm still struggling to find comfort & a way to be here in the forums as the dynamics have changed considerably in last few months. Possibly unknown to you, I rarely post in other threads I am tagged in either. Even people I am supposedly loyal to, like Zoe, Snowie or others. I have barely responded to outlander in the last few days as I let her find her own way, time & readiness to speak. Much of the time I offer the support button only, and occasionally I will post just to maintain respect and courteousy.

The reason I don't post much here is that yes, I don't have much to say onlyif because others have already said. So by supporting you, it's saying I agree with others words or thoughts.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Okay thanks @Sans911 ... I just didnt want to be putting you in an awkward position. I feel safe elsewhere too, but am not posting to a lot of threads I used to regularly post to. Mostly because I dont want to cause discomfort to anyone. So I have unfortunately had to step away from quite a few threads. I'm still reading though, and try to respond here.

Yes I am aware that you had cut back a lot on your time on the forums, after the initial complete break you had. I am really pleased that you are back at all, albeit in a somewhat restricted form for now. Its always great to see you around. You provide such great support and advise to a lot of members.

Sherry 💕🙏

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member... your usual beautiful pics thank you Pippi. It sounds like you're settling into your new temporary role as carer. Damnit ... sorry to hear that hubbys operation has been postponed. Do you have a new date for rescheduled operation? You are right .. being a carer is exhausting work, something you know from previous experience. At least you know that your time as carer has an end date, its not an indefinite thing. Something to look forward to for you. Something which I do not have. For me, hubbys illnesses will only get worse, so there really is no real end in sight for me. And thats really hard at times to adjust to. Yesterdays cuppa and cake looked sooo good. Thanks heaps.

Thank you so much @eth 🤗💓

@Maggie... you are doing a great job of your Guide role Maggie. I have enough confidence in you for both of us ... so please just continue to do what you always have done. And you will settle into your new role beautifully. @Sans911 is right ... just be you .. that is more than enough. And dont put too much pressure on yourself. You do not have to compete or compare yourself to anyone else, whether thats guides or members. Yes Maggie, our @CheerBear has such a lot going in right now. I have been wondering how the workdesk project is progressing?

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

To be honest @Former-Member, answering your post was a little awkward. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, triggered or upset by something I said. And I never feel you're intruding in spaces I post in. But you need to find your own level of comfort, as do I. Sometimes I also don't post in threads because people have special, close relationships and much like you've said, it feels like you are intruding. Even when they say you aren't. And when theres lots of members supporting someone, it also feels for me like my contribution might be overwhelming for that person, so I hold back.

I've not spoken about this to anyone, but even though I only had a short break from the forums, when I came back, many things had changed. People I knew well had formed new connections & relationships with others. I felt a lot out of place. Did I belong here anymore? Belonging is something I've struggled my whole life with. When I came to the forums 3 years ago, I felt I belonged. People accepted me for me. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. Now I'm not sure of my place here any more. That's part of my struggle right now. I know people still care about me. But some days I feel like I'm lost in a crowd here. Perhaps you feel a bit the same.
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