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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member your strength continually shows with everything you do! you can get through this, i know it hard! very hard! but you can get through this. it wont last forever.

taking care of many people @Former-Member takes a huge toll on people esp if they arent well themselves. i totally get the hiding thing and sometimes tis jsut the easiest thing to rather than having to explain your self. but now its time to take care of you too. what you achieved last week is amazing!

is there any other supports you or your brother could use during this time?

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

That is a very difficult position to be in with your brother @Former-Member I know the problem is compounded so much for you because of what he 'does not know' about you and the house issues etc. Aside from what he is dealing with you are going through your own 'struggles'. I know you are a strong and courageous person but you do come first in this situation. You cannot support him if you are not well enough to look after yourself. Constantly waiting for a call to come - which may be bad news would increase anyone's anxiety and this will be further exacerbating all your other fears and thoughts. I certainly don't have any answers for you on this one as it is a very difficult position to be in - but I can let you know I am here if you need to talk or to just sit with you for some company at the moment.

Sending you a big warm hug (if that is ok at the moment)

Zoe

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member ..... ❤️💕💐💜🌷❣

Hopefully the intensity you are feeling at the moment is compounded with the backwash of just being able to let go of the facade you have been having to hold up while you were away .... meaning that the immediate intensity is likely to calm down with a bit more time, but I know that doesn't help you in this moment.

Its a good thing to be sharing it all here with us though .... letting us hear you and walk with you .... holding your hand and sending you big hugs through cyber space.

Be very gentle with yourself and keep resting. I am finding I am in a battle with inertia at the moment, but not all the time. It comes and goes, and when it lifts a bit, I potter around a getting a few things done, then go back to lie down and rest. It's a way for your body to process big feelings and backwash ... and important to respect that.

Just do what you can. I can identify with "waiting for a phone call", and that's really hard too. Trying to stay distracted is all I can suggest.

❤️💕

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

The pressure and responsibility on you at the moment is horrific and most would be feeling unrattled as you are. It's not an easy situation by a long shot but a very emotionally and mentally taxing one.

How do you get your brother through this unharmed. Emphasise to him time and again that "he has his wife and yourself to live for". That his daughter is with him always and would not want his wife or you to suffer "as he is" if he were to hurt himself. That he is is the grieving process and needs more time to process it and move through it to better days. That there are other people one day whom will need his support whom are going through the same thing. In a nutshell - "that he is needed and has a lot to live for". That what he is feeling now is despair/guilt but that won't always be the case. And that you will always be there.

Then take a step back and regain some normality, a life for yourself as you are "equally" as important. Being there for him and allowing yourself respite, reprieve and some enjoyable moments revitalises. So you can be stronger for him to help drag him out of the dangerous place he is in now. That's what I had to do when my daughter had a serious suicide attempt and was under watch with me. And it can be done - we can still have a life and must do to keep strong.

You have done your best and done it well - that's all we can do. Feel good about that and do something nice for you now as you also need support and be able to live. It will all work out. One day at a time...hugs xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

sending you hugs @Former-Member

one day at a time my friend xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

My psych appointment went okay yesterday. She is a lovely lady and understands me very well. She said at the end, "I know you are trying to put up a brave front, but I can see that you are not okay". So she wants to see me again in 2 weeks time.
We had a good long talk, and I embarrassingly managed to get through her box of tissues. She says that due to the high levels of anxiety and stress that I am currently under it means that there are high levels of adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormone) in my system right now. Or always really, but even more so right now. That means that I am often feeling sick and loss of appetite etc. She stressed to me that I need to eat more adequately than I have been, in order to reduce the adrenaline, and intense anxiety symptoms, etc.
The way she explained it to me is that I need to get some dopamine (feel good hormone) into my system to counteract the adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones). Funnily enough, she says the best dopamine things are obtained from a lot of junk food (eg hot chips and gravy) or chocolate. Thats why when we are sad or stressed, we often naturally turn to junk food or comfort food. Makes sense I guess. So she has given me permission to eat junk and sugary food. Ha ha, but only for a little while, until I get through this latest crisis.
She also said that if I dont start to take better care of myself, that I run a serious risk of going into a deep depression. I dont want that, I need to do something to prevent it.
So this morning I had a slice of toast with vegemite. Lots of vitamin B, which she says is vital for anxiety and stress. Lunch I had a banana. I'm trying, and trying hard. But I dont think I'm quite up to the junk food!
I cant afford to drop the ball right now. No sleep last night however, nor the night before, and feel dead-to-the-world today.
I am still talking to my brother each day. I think he is sounding slightly better? I hope I am not misreading any signals. Such a big responsibility.
@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Spookytookims
I hope everyone here is feeling better than I am today? If not, here is a pic to help cheer you up.
Sherry

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member im glad you have a good psych that will help you in the journey. Youve really got to take care of yourself ❤❤
You have a big responisbility is there anyone who can help you out abit to takr abit of stress off you?
What sort of self care activities do you have planned for today?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

: @Former-Member

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hugs @Former-Member ..... ❤️💐🌷🐬💜💕
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