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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi everyone, including: @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member

Well as of now I am signing off for a week. Going to be off-line with no computer access for the next week. So I will say farewell now, but expect to be back next Wednesday.

Thanks everyone for your understanding and support, it is so much appreciated. Having the support here, that I dont get anywhere else, means a lot to me. You're all wonderful.

I am feeling really apprehensive about things right now, so I just hope I can keep everything together for the coming week. Others need me, especially my brother, who seems to continue to turn to me for his support.

I guess he figures I'll understand what he is going through. He is the only person, other than my psych and my GP, who knows I also suffer from PTSD. He was diagnosed 6 months or so ago, some 12 months after the horrific car accident he was involved in where his daughter died instantly.

At the time of his diagnosis, he asked me how come I knew so much about PTSD, and I let slip that I too was diagnosed with it a couple of years ago. I did not tell him the cause of mine however, explaining that it was as a result of something that happened a long time ago, which I prefer not to talk about. I asked him to never tell anyone else, and he has kept that promise, and has never questioned me further on it. But I guess its good that he knows he is talking to someone who knows what he is talking about and will understand. At least I hope thats the case.

He rang me this afternoon, just checking that I am still coming down for the court hearing. I assured him I was. He did not sound in good shape though, and certainly his anxiety and SI is increasing as the case draws nearer. He has anti-anxiety medication he is meant to use, but he doesnt want to take it in case he is adversely affected during the court hearing. He wants to be fully aware of everything that is happening he said. But plainly he is getting no sleep, and as I explained to him, that in itself will result in a lowered ability to concentrate. I am really concerned for him.

Anyway enough of that. How am I? I dont know, I am just plodding along as best I can. I'm incredibly sad, worried, anxious, shaky, emotionally overwhelmed really. I think I will be okay, at least I hope so, as others need me to be strong. So I will be there for them, until the 'wall comes crashing back down'. Hopefully that doesnt happen. One positive I guess is that with all my brothers problems on my mind, there is a chance that my own issues will hide in the recesses of my mind a little bit, at least for now. Yes ........... I can do this!

On a happier note, it was my Mum's 80th birthday 3 days ago, and my parents 60th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks time. Hopefully we will be able to go out and celebrate while I am down there visiting. And if the court hearing goes well, we may have a third thing to celebrate as well.

Anyway, signing off for now ........... I will be back in touch again upon my return. Meanwhile keep well all of you.

Sherry xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member All the best my friend. My thoughts will be with you

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

all the best @Former-Member and Holly

we will be thinking of you our friend , we will be here when you come home

have a safe trip , one step at a time

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member may you and Holly have a safe road trip, and thoughts of you in your sad time. I hope all goes as well as possible for the hearing. Sending you strength and hugs.

See you when you get back 🙂

Tooky.

🐶

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Will be thinking of you @Former-Member ... so good to see you finding positives to help keep you moving forward too.

Congratulations for your parents.

❤️💕 ..... travel safely

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

You are truly your brothers rock, he is so lucky to have you. Yes you can do this as you have the inner love and compassion to strengthen and see you through; good things will start to come your way in spurts just when you need it to happen to encourage and keep you going. Look for them.

On your return do something nice for you. Will be thinking of you. Sending love your way xx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

❤️💕🤗 ...., @Former-Member

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Sorry it has taken me a little while to get back to you @Former-Member .... I have encountered some turbulence on the home-front, and also been prioritising some forum friends in distress in the last few days ....

I really appreciate you sharing more of your life story with me. I had a wonderful mum, but as turbulent as my life has been, hers as also .... my brother suffered a severe injury as an infant, and is a "super-bright", which brings relativity issues of its own .... then my sister suffered a head-injury through childhood illness that left her intellectually and personality-wise impaired .... Then the isolation of my father's work meant I effectively left home at 12 through boarding school followed by uni .... and from there into marriage ... in a different city .... and one where she quickly became unwell, the result of a childhood injury of her own that had resulted in lung damage and an unwell childhood. So she was my mother for 12 years, then my mentor by correspondence for another 25 before we lost her to a rare illness.

Her faith and fortitude instilled the same in me, for the most part. My life has been a roller coaster of higher highs than the average person, and bigger battles as well, perhaps all of it preparing me for this one ....

I had landed a few posts into the What's New discussion topic a few months ago, but today @Former-Member opened a thread called Eating Disorders, and I discussed it with @Former-Member before relocating them there, if you're interested.

My MIL has been the biggest influence / supporter of his disordered mind-set, because it has returned him to her as a surrogate-husband figure, and his whole family have been conditioned to view what can be seen from the outside as success. And not being in control, not coping, is not considered acceptable. At this point in time there is no-one placed to be able to influence him otherwise.

All we have been able to do is try to keep him pacified while waiting for the illness to surface in a way that brings it to diagnosis and treatment ... I say pacified because it is an illness based in control issues.. You will see, if you visit that thread, that he has over-shot physical fitness.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

It was a very difficult trip last week. I achieved what I set out to do though - I supported my brother, his wife and sons, and my Mum and Dad the best I could. I was as strong as I needed be, I held up .. then! I'm good at hiding how I really am, so others can rely on me. But since I've been home again ... I'm falling apart, crushed, badly triggered.

Why does everything have to be so hard? I seem to have been in a continual state of near panic over the past few days. Feelings of impending danger for myself and others, dread about what is to come. My heart racing and thudding loudly in my head and my thoughts in overdrive. My breathing fast, but shallow and hard to control. I'm feeling dizzy and faint. I have trembling in my heart and gut and shaking in my limbs, which just will not stop. I feel sick.

I'm barely sleeping, and am constantly tired. Hubby is away for another 2 weeks, so I dont need to prepare meals like I normally do. Despite having no appetite, I am trying to force myself to eat at least something nutritious each day, just so I can keep going.

I need to remain strong. I need to be here for my brother. He is at high risk, with no reason to live. His psychiatrist has said for him not to be left on his own. He said to me the other day "I died with my daughter on the day of the accident, and now that the hearing is over, I have nothing left to live for".

He has done a new crisis Safety Plan and, other than his wife, I am top of his contacts to call when in crisis. This is a huge responsibility, and perhaps one which is more than I can handle. Its like I am just waiting now for the phone to ring. How can I be here to support him and encourage him to start living again, when I can barely function myself?

I am trying to do my breathing exercises, mindfulness, relaxation, distraction. Nothing is helping. I dont think it will ever get any easier, and I dont know if I can keep doing this. I just dont know.

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Spookytookims

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member I haven't read it all yet but wanted to stop and let you know that I am here with you

I'll read on now my friend...

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