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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thinking of you today @Former-Member and hoping you find some time for yourself and that hubby likes his birthday presents. Take care xx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member ,

thanks for asking , I am ok thanks. Not doing too badly at the moment. I have some rough days, but mostly things are not too bad. I am able to do more and don’t dread each new day in the same way at all.. I will post more later

peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I hope you are okay today - I am glad your husband was nice to you yesterday - it would be wonderful if he could think of that before he starts drinking but I guess he is really stuck there and can't think of anything else at the time

I had a friend who was too fond of the green smoke - we didn't live together - we were what they call "just friends" but he couldn't think of anything else through the day while he did his job and went about his life - the whole time his mind was one getting stoned and that was totally unsatisfactory - I felt really shut out - and I terminated our friendship but sometimes I am still very sorry things went that way because we were good friends once

But that's life - it's was easier to end a friendship than to end a marriage where there is far more commitment

What you wrote on the Anzac Memories Thread and then in your own thread was perfectly okay - we all need to vent sometimes and let it out somehow - this forum is the right place to do that - you are much loved here and people really care about you - and it is obvious - you really care about us - I am glad you told us so much about your life

And you have so much happening and there is a lot of trauma in your life - I have not lived through the same issues but issues I have had so I do understand - if this forum had been here a few years ago I found have written about a list of sorrows certainly - after my father died and before my mother died I went through a shadowly time with my toxic sister taking over and giving me a hard time and there are times that still wrankles - and there were other things too - the past takes random dates and they are anniversaries of different kinds through our lives and some of them stick forever. And we are reminded and reminded

But right now you have a plateful - that's for sure. I respect your choices and know why you are still with your husband and I get that - we are all different - there are days when your husband is a different person - more like the man you marry so long ago now - and you can take those moments and make the best of them - and that is your treasure so keep it.

Look after yourself today and - ah - I know what they say - do something nice for yourself - that's not always easy I know

Dec

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Happy Birthday Mr @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Sorry everyone for my tardy response time. I have had a few days off-forum feeling really confused, threatened and upset about a few things from earlier this week. I'm still not doing so well, but feel I am better off with people around me right now. Even if that is just in a virtual sense.

I utilised 2 different help lines (chat, as I cannot phone ... too choked up to talk when I get upset, plus no privacy to talk) over the past 2 days. The Sane Chat was good, but I felt devastated when my allocated time (40mins) was up and the person said they had to go. I didnt get to say much at all of what I needed to. Barely touched the edges. But the counsellor was nice, caring and tried as best she could. I was thankful for that. The other help centre I tried was next to useless, and I ceased the call in frustration. She just made me feel like I was wasting their time because I didnt know what I wanted or needed. So I apologised for wasting their time, thanked them and shut it down.

I thought I would be able to unload a bit here tonight ... but now I find that I can't. I tried, but cant get my head around it all. Its too much of a jumble, and it hurts too much. So I've given up. I'm also really concerned about saying anything wrong and coming under scrutiny from the mods. Despite what they all say, I still feel I am here under sufferance and they're just waiting for me to stumble as an excuse to be shunted. History elsewhere tells me this is so. I think I'm just a lost cause that nobody knows what to do with. I dont know how I can turn these black destructive thoughts around. Nothing seems to be working lately. Everything is just beyond me. Its really just a waiting game. I'm so tired of life.

Today was Ems 16th birthday ... I thought about her a lot today. My sweet innocent wonderfully talented little 11yo (only) niece. She was the daughter I would have liked to have had, only she was cruelly snatched from our lives. The scene of the accident is still clear as a bell in my mind ... it looked so innocuous. But there she was .. gone, her young life snuffed out in an instant. How many tmes have I wished it were me and not her!

I cant keep doing this .. I'm really not okay. I wish my psych was available. I wish I were stronger. I wish those things didnt happen to me all those years ago. I wish my attacker were dead, instead of still living and breathing. Why didnt I ask for help back then? Maybe I would never have gotten this bad if I had.

Sherry 😔💔

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)


💜💖💜💖💜💖💜💕 @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member i can hear you are having a really tough time and i'm sorry to hear that. i know you are a senior contributor so i dont want to insult you by offering Lifeline 131114 but feel a duty of care to remind you there is support there if you need it and only a phone call away...so i hope you understand our concern. We are around all night as you know. Please try and care of yourself tonight and hoping you get lots of support from here as i know you said you didnt want to be alone and virtual support was helpful. In times like this its important to use your supports and stay safe.

Kind regards

Moderator Traveller

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

So I have read it all Hon and have a fw things to say ...no surprise there hey. The first is that you are with us and so many of us here are thankful for both your friendship and your kind and caring nature. I understand you feel like the past is to repeat itself here but this is a very different place to what you were confronted with elsewhere and not only are you wanted but needed Hon. Secondly - you never would intentionally do anything to break the guidelines and even if you inadvertedly do then it can easily be rectified - so although you think that others are just waiting for you to stumble I am sure that is not the case - the mods and community managers here are all caring and compassionate themselves and any fears you have it that regard I am sure they will quash very quickly. It is the trauma of what happened elsewhere that has those thoughts running through your head - and yes it was traumatic for you and in that respect I can fully understand why you are thinking as you are. Continue to work with those here that can help you work through that @Former-Member - because as I said - you are wanted, needed, cared for and loved here and you very much belong.

Today is a massive day for you - such an incredibly horrible loss. There are some things that you never get over - you can only find ways to cope with and on anniversaries, birthdays, christmas, etc. those days feel even harder. You do not have to be 'okay' today - it is not a day that everything should be sunshine and rainbows - it is a day to remember someone so very dear to you that was taken far, far too young - and that hurts deeply.

As for what happened all those years ago and how you feel now - whether you got help then or are getting it now is immaterial - what is importsnt is you are getting help. I am going to also say that we do not get help when things like that first happen because we are so often in denial that anything did - that is our way to protect ourselves from further and ongoing pain. That does not mean it is noit there but we suppres it, push it down so deep so we can actually survive - and it is about survival. If we had allowed ourselves to feel, to talk, to get that help then it would have made it all so much more real and we do not want to believe it because that then would mean we have to live with the pain, the shame, the thoughts and feelings and that would not be conducive to 'life'. So you got through the best you knew how and in doing so were able to actually go on - and that is important Hon - you are still here and you are amazing ...not just for what you have been through but for the person you are

I can already hear you saying 'I am none of that nor will I ever be" but you are Sherry - you are an amazing example of whatever life throws at you you continue to put one foot in front of the other and more than that you can empathise with others with your usual care and compassion ....never, ever underestimate just how soothing and relateable your words are for so many and just how much that actually helps others. You are an inspiration for all those that have suffered trauma in any form and an example to everyone how those experiences can actually help others.

You are strong, you are courageous, you are a survivor and we are so lucky to have you here

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Agreed ❣️

@Former-Member @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @traveller 💕

I've taken something I hope will help me sleep tonight.

Its okay not to be okay ..isnt that what they say?

Zoe I will have to read your post again in the morning. My silly brain is not comprehending right now.

Rose is lovely tks F&H

Need to sleep

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