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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks so much @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @TAB @Zoe7

I apologise for my post yesterday ... it wasnt a good day and I was quite distressed. Lots of very triggering memories through the day. And I probably should not have shared here. I do hope I havent harmed any of you with what I have written about.

Yes all okay today. Hubby has been sweet and apologetic. Thats usually his way. I have been very tired today though ... I think a lack of sufficient sleep, for many weeks now, is taking a heavy toll. I havent done much today, had a nap after lunch and feel somewhat better for it. But I still feel a bit like a zombie under remote control.

@Peri ... as always, its lovely to hear from you. Thanks for relating your family history of Anzac heros. Of course 'shell shock' is the term they used for what is now known as PTSD. I think soldiers who fought in WW1 and WW11 would have been dreadfully affected from the war .. mainly because fighting was so 'personal' back then. In the trenches and hand to hand combat, even talking to each other from within the enemy trenches. LIttle wonder they were shell shocked.

Like you, our family never celebrated Anzac Day. I had uncles who were in the second world war, whom I knew well. But we lived in the bush and Anzac ceremonies were not something anybody seemed to do back then. I never really went to any Marchs or Commemoration services until I met and married my husband. Its interesting that many of his friends have nothing to do with Anzac Day or Reunions or anything that might reminder them of the wars at all really. And yet others, such as my husband, seem to thrive on the comaraderie of getting together with their fellow servicemen at every opportunity he can. My husband only has friends who are ex-military, he has no patience at all for civvies. He has former business acquaintances, but he doesnt consider them to be close friends. I guess everyone is different, individual circumstances are different too. Some need to talk about their experiences, others bottle it up.

How are you anyway @Peri ?

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

hugs my sister @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

I just read your long post now and believe it was good and maybe "meant to be" that you did share an alternative view to the publicly promoted one. My family never celebrated Anzac. Mother did not know much about it. Anzac seems bigger these days than it ever was. Maybe it is to bring out Australian Identity in a diverse society, but ....

Mother did know about RSL drinking culture and I was raised with a detached wariness about it. I have not experienced it at close hand, and I when I read your personal struggles with your husband, it seems senseless and sad. I respect your decision to stay with him. You definitely have a right to express yourself here ... just as you do.

Gentle Social Distancing Hugs

Apple

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member @@@

Anzac Day is a shocker time for you, sheesh! Why are you still with this man?

I've been offline mostly this week, trying to catch up.

Going back to your post 24th...

Glad you're back and so relieved you've been made to feel welcome, and people are forgiving you. Stay with us, thick or thin.

You have so many wonderful replies here, and many from titans who once helped me a lot but shun me now, it's helping me too, to read their input for you, because our issues / journey overlap. They are helping me while they help you, so thanks for being here. You sre writeone of the accepted ones / and you express things do much better than me. Youre lucky you could Icome back with same name, i tried to come back as TAWNEY but they wouldn't let me, now I'm stuck with docile donkey. Oh well. Guess it is a part of me. 😶 Triggers my SI bigtime to dwell on it, the rejection 😢, but you're here.

Your journey has been a hard one, and I'm sorry you've been feeling more "fragile and teary" than usual of late, and it's no wonder, with all you've listed, the mounting stressors. Its so hard this current climate / world we're living. As if we haven't got enough to deal with as it is.
These bad anniversary dates and memories are soooo stressful, especially the leadup to them. (think that's our mind still having trouble processing things). Your mum's first birthday in heaven 😢 Ya beautiful niece's sweet sixteenth lost, and mothers day pending... they all seem to bump into each other (like a heavy freight train shunting), especially as we get older don't ya think. I'm wondering if eventually it sinks in that we are resilient and will get through each hurdle.

MAY is my trauma month, hang on, thsy Januarywas before my girl died last January, it is worse. But everything is since then.

It helps me to try do something little (or big) to remember them (a candle - scrapbook - planting a rosebush...)

.My mum died 2018 - the world is so different without our parents 😢💙 And you're brother and ya dad... you feel for them, with them, I know it 😳 on top of your own pain. We do have to find ways to shield ourself from all that, and the greater collective - we're not designed to carry all that. Its time to look after you too, at least inside our own head.

Maybe create pockets of peace in your day, where you feel something restful. I love the sunrays on my feet, rubbing the grass under my toes and the breeze on my face - just for 10min - or 10 long deep breaths.

. I don't have the answers Sherry only my personal experience, but I care and holding you in the light.

You Hang in there beautiful lady. @H Hugz-n-hugz💙

EOR

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hard to Hold Onto (at the Best of times), yet Helpful....

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Adge, made me cry that post, good tears, thanks 💙

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I'm trying to Remind myself of that one @Former-Member That I am enough...

I don't feel it at the moment, need a lot of reminding....

Adge

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I hear you @Adge,
Like the robots huddling in the movie 'i robot' - never as alone as we feel.
Chin up 💙

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

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