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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

1,381 - 1,390 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Just leaving this here for you so you know how I feel everyday...

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Bringing this pic just for you. It’s a pic of a broken heart, put together with gold. Not my painting. Just like you. 💙💙 Yes, at least 4 years. You are always an appreciated support to me also.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Peri - I am really sorry my situation has distressed you. Sorry also that you have been struggling a lot lately too. My apologies for not following up with you after New Year. You are right too that I need to keep communicating here, because here is all I have. And it does help having you and all the others here. There have been numerous times, that without the support I get here .. no, I wont go there right now. But thank you everyone. And Peri, I notice that Zoe has posted on your thread offering her support. Please talk to her if you ever need to, she is 'the best'.

@Zoe7 - thank you so much for the beautiful picture. And the words in it brought tears. I reciprocate the sentiment.

@Maggie - the picture is gorgeous .. love the colours too. Yes I think we first 'met' about 4 years ago, elsewhere. I was always drawn to you. Is your picture here a mosaic? I seem to have a recollection of posting a picture a few years ago to you of a beautiful mosaic, which was appropriate at the time. So I guess you remember that I love them. Relevant that something can be broken or shattered, but still be able to be put back together to make something even more beautiful than the original. And often much stronger than the original too. Thank you Maggie.

I still have replies to make from the previous page .. my apologies ... I will get there, but its taking a bit of time. Its taking all my energy to get this much done. So enough for now. Back later @Appleblossom @Owlunar and @Zoe7. I have things I want to say, but not right now.

Sherry 💔

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

There is no need to reply @Former-Member Simply here for you ....just as you have been soooo many times for me

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

My dear @Former-Member I am very saddened to hear that you are having a really tough time right now. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything better and brighter for you. You are a treasure and I have always enjoyed our chats and it upsets me dearly to know you are struggling right now. All I want to do is jump into my computer and out of yours and give you the biggest hug I have ever given anyone.

I don't know your full background but my first instinct was to think don't stop seeing your psych. Even though your next appointment is not until next week which right now seems a long time to wait, please go and see her and do not cancel. From what I can summise you need to speak to her.

I can totally understand the wanting to isolate yourself from people as you feel they are better off without you. Those feelings plague me everyday. And most weekends I go without seeing or speaking (in person) to anyone. I feel like I am not required at work and that my contribution is not important. I often say to myself every morning as I am leaving for work 'If I did not go to work today would anyone notice". I can assure you, you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. I know it does not help in making them go away sadly.

I wish I had all the answers for you my friend, but sadly I don't. All I can say is that we are all here for you.........bigtime. So many people on here care for you deeply and we are all wanting you to get better. It is heartening to know that you can reach out to us here and express your feelings and tell us what you are going through right now. That is a positive step.

Please take care and I send you all my love and blessings to you.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs ❤❤

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Keep the appointment Hon - it is essential you talk some of this out with your psych. She knows you extremely well and you need her - do not cut yourself off from thst support . I agree with @Zoe7 xx

Ohh @Former-Member , sitting with you and holding you my awesome friend

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @Zoe7, @outlander
@Shaz51 thanks for sitting with me, and for the meerkat hugs. I still havent decided what to do about my psych apt. Its meant to be next Wednesday. I can feel myself pulling away even more. Who knows.
@Scarecrowe - I wish you could just snap your fingers and make everything all right too. Wow .. wouldnt you be in demand! The thought of you sliding through the computer screen though, and popping out this end ... is a loving and caring thought ... So thank you. And I am really sorry that those type of thoughts plague you also. You are right that there are many here who seem to care about me. Who knows why? I certainly dont. Personally I dont think I'm worth it. But I thank all of you for taking the time to respond in my time of need.

I still have posts on the previous page to respond to. I will try to do so soon.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

We think you are worth it @Former-Member and will continue to tell you as such - not becuse we have to but because you are a caring, supportive and compassionate person that deserves so much better in life. It is so hard to both hear those things about ourselves or feel them in any way when our confidence and self-esteem are so low - but we see you, we hear you and we know you ...and we love you - not just for what you contribute here but also the wonderful person you truly are. We will continue to believe in you, listen to you, support you and hold you up until the day comes that you can hopefully do that for yourself. You no only matter to us Hon but also have a special place in our lives - and that is because of the wonderful person you are despite all that you have to deal with. Sending you strength, courage, hope and love sweet Sherry

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Owlunar - firstly thank you for the complimentary description of who you think I am. Very kind of you. Regarding my psych ... yes I do need her support. But I've needed it over the past 5 weeks ... and she hasn't been there for me. Not even having the courtesy to acknowledge my emails, which were a cry for help. So I dont know what to do there.

Yes .. another leap year. 6 leap years since some (so-called human-being) rapist assaulted me and then fled into the night. No, not 4 years ago .. but 24 years this year. It's a long time, but it might as well be yesterday. Nightmares and flashbacks have started again recently. Silly huh? Yes of course I had hoped that things would be better by now. I've undergone so much therapy in the past 5 years ... CBT, Exposure Therapy, EMDR. And I start to think things are improving .... then bang ... I was wrong, they haven't improved at all.

Yes my husband is very difficult. I love him, but I can't really say I like him. But I cannot leave him either. My sense of duty prevents that, and I feel I owe him my loyalty and definitely my care. Despite his behaviour and treatment of me over the years.

Its true that the fires around here are still very active, some are still out of control. No longer at emergency level as they were in November thankfully. But we are still surrounded by fires at Alert Level. Fires to our North, South, East and West. Doesnt matter which direction the wind is coming from, we cannot escape the smoke. It was bad again today. We still have spot fires breaking out on the bad days when weather is very hot and winds pick up. I am constantly checking the "Fires Near Me" RFS website on my phone. Every time I see new plumes of nearby smoke rising in the nearby skies, I check again. Things hotted up on the weekend with a number of new spot fires. I'm tired of hearing and seeing constant water bombing aircraft flying overhead. There was a constant stream of them on the weekend. And again today. I think they are trying to further contain the many fires around here in preparation for another expected bad day on Friday.

Most of the spot fires have from the weekend have since been put out, but we still have 4 fires (at Alert Level) burning within 10kms of where I live, and an additional 11 fires within a 50kms radius. One of which is a very large fire burning in nearby forest and its already burned over 150,000 hectares. I think that one will continue to burn through to the end of summer. And of course there are many kilometres of burned out land and displaced citizens in between. So the aftermath of the fires continues to affect so many, even after the firefront has gone through.

You want me here? Need me even? I think not. Probably quite the opposite, and you would all be much better off if I wasnt here at all. I need the forums much more than they (or you) need me. I try to be helpful when I can, I really do. But I get too much wrong, and always wind up in trouble ... and that distresses me further. I never set out to break rules, it just happens sometimes.

Thank you Dec for taking the time to post. You are here for so many, and always put so much time and effort into your responses. I want you to know ... I appreciate it.

@Appleblossom - thanks so much. Yes I can understand the country's feelings of despair and panic around the fires. It is a very worrying time for so many. So widespread. And I suspect it has also been a contributing factor to my PTSD flaring up as badly now as what it has. But there are many other things too. I will try to be more gentle with myself, and remember to breathe. Crazy how something so natural (breathing) can be so damned hard sometimes. Thanks for the reminder.

Just your reply still to go now @Zoe7 . It needs the most thought.

Sherry

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