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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

1,371 - 1,380 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

well the others have said it, so Not a dimwit. But I get why you might feel like that. Historically we put too much on a new year, when all that has happened is that another day has passed. you organised a great New Year’s Eve party, and best of all I enjoyed it from home.

there is nothing wrong with being fragile you have had some incredibly hard experiences in your life.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself and do some things that nourish you.

Thinking of you and wishing you only kindness

peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Zoe7 @Maggie @Peri @outlander @Appleblossom @Gazza75 @Bunniekins @Molliex @eth @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Owlunar @BlueBay @Scarecrowe @Faith-and-Hope and anyone else interested.

I'm afraid ... afraid of the very strong emotions I've been feeling ... afraid of what I may do ... afraid of a future I may not have. I'm feeling very alone, and becoming lost in my own head. I'm overwhelmed, angry, stuck, my thoughts out of control. I've been having flashbacks since new year .. not just via nightmares, but during the day too. My safety plan is now obsolete. My psych was a go-to for me, and she's not been contactable for the past month or more. I currently have an appointment with her next week, but I've decided to ring and cancel it. I'll make it easy for her and save her the bother. Twice I've picked up the phone yesterday to call her office to cancel .. but then hung up. To cancel would be to cut that one remaining thread of safety I'm holding onto. I don't know what I'll do now.

I realise I've been isolating myself from people, both emotionally and physically. I'm pushing people away ... believing that people don't want me around or are better off if I'm not there. I feel useless, worthless, ineffectual .. even here where usually I can find purpose and some comfort. I've been mostly off line since my latest post here on 2nd Jan, but all that's served to do is make me feel even more alone. I signed back online here yesterday, mostly just to read and hit the support button. Just looking for connection and to feel people around me I guess. But really, everything seems way too hard and not worth the effort needed. I know all this is not good and it rings alarm bells, even in my own confused head. I also recognise I'm resorting to self-sabotaging behaviours. I can't stop myself though ... I'm feeling lost and no longer care. I feel like an overwound spring or an overstretched rubber band .. and on the verge of breaking.

I just dont know any more, where to turn or what to do.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

So sorry to hear how tough things are feeling at the moment. It is so strong of you to be honest with your peers here and reach out for support.

I know you mentioned your pyschologist but have you considered connecting to a helpline as well to discuss what you have mentioned here too? here are a few useful ones:

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

SANE Help Centre: 1800 18 7263 (10am – 10pm)

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Sitting with you. I don’t know what to say that would help, or if it would help. But sitting with you. I hear and feel your pain. 💙💙💙🐾🐾🐾

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hang in there @Former-Member .

Think a lot of us can relate to some of what you are going through. Do you have any idea why the flashbacks are occuring during the day? Have you had a change of meds or anything like that? Are you getting enough sleep? Have you been able to keep up with your exercise and fitness?

Can you reach out for support to help take care of your husband?

Lots of questions, but, not many answers 😞

I know its not ideal for either of you, but, it might let you have a little more time to take care of yourself. That might help to take off some pressure, even a little bit might make a big difference to your well being.

I don't have any good answers, but, keep talking to us here and reach out for support if you can. I know it can be very hard to do that, but, its better to do it sooner rather than later. I know you have been dealing with 'stuff' for the longest of times, but, I really admire your courage and strength and willingness to help others despite everything you have on your plate.

Sending oodles of kind thoughts and love your way S 🙂

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I just looked back to your post on 2nd Jan - and I am sorry you feel so badly -

Feelings are real - they are valid - but they are not the truth - they are leading you astray right now because to me you seem like a very kind and supportive person - someone who gives a great deal of themself to help other people and you have been supportive to me personally here on the forums

Don't pre-empt your psyche - and don't cut off that last link - you are not a bother - if she told you she would be seeing her long-term clients then this is a good thing - if you reallly feel unsure about her then ask - don't just imagine - but I am sure she wants to keep her old clients while she takes on a new venture

You need the support you can get right now - isolating yourself is not always helpful especially when you have triggered yourself - and you are right - it is another leap-year and 4 years since something happened obviously - and by now you hoped things would be better

You do a lot for an ungrateful husband I know - this must wear you down - and I know you feel you can't leave him and start a new life for yourself - so I get that - and having left my ex-h and started my new life I can say that it is a hard decision to make and hard to carry out and maybe not for everyone - not for you

But this doesn't make you worthless - you are valuable here - and very caring and helpful

Think carefully before you cut off your resources - esp your psyche - ask her opinion about your feelings etc - check it out - she is the best person to ask

But we want you here - we need you here -

Many people including myself took time out to refresh during the Christmas/New Year break and fires are around where you are too and the smoke and asthma wear us down - you have that as well - I guess the days start out with your feeling very tired - but this will pass

Hearing you and caring Sherry - it's always harder over the holidays with so many professional people away

Dec

Hi Shery - yes - it's Tuesday again

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member You can't make that call to your psych becuse deep down you know you not only need it but it is presently your lifeline also. Keep the appointment Hon - it is essential you talk some of this out with your psych. She knows you extremely well and you need her - do not cut yourself off from thst support ...I fully understand that want to cut off everyone around us, withdraw, isolate - it is a defence mechanism when we are so down and can't see a future - it makes it easier to shut out all those who care about us so we don't have to engage at all - and when we are in that state it is actually criticl that we do reach out because the alternative seeks to further isolate us when we are at our lowest.

You have so much love and support from so many here my sweet Sherry - and that is unconditional. It does not matter if you cannot engage here or give any support yourself - right now it is you that needs that and you have it.

I also understand how physically and emotionally those constant triggers can affect us. Every day is not only a battle to keep them at bay but you are constantly on edge knoing they could happen at any moment and for no real reason. It is such a difficult position to be in becsuse it is not only exhausting mentally but the physical consequences are debilitating too. I also know there is are no words that can help here - it really is a horrible place to be.

What I can say to you Hon is that these triggers, these memories, these feelings will ease - it is a really hard period for you right now and that has been further complicted by you not being able to see your psych for so long - not having that outlet to talk through these things and get that extra support. You have been stuck with the relentless home sitution, it has been the first christmas without your Mum, the memories of your lost niece, the fires around, the worry of your psych leaving despite saying she will continue with her long time clients, and these triggers from it being a leap year - all of that takes it's toll, especially when it is concentrated in such a small space of time. There is no wonder you are feeling as you are Sherry - one of those things would be enough to floor anyone ...and for it all to come at the same time is overwhelming.

See you psych Hon - you need her ...if at least to ask the question and put your mind at rest as to her continued work with you. Reach out here also - you don't need to talk - hitting the support button keeps you connected and is enough right now ...we all understand that.

You are one amazing, caring, compassionate, intelligent and wise women Sherry - and whilst you are having doubts about yourself we will continue to hold you up - because we very much love and appreciate YOU. You are enough and you very much matter. 💜💙💚🧡💛

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @Former-Member ... but it is definitely not strength which allows me to be honest with my peers here ... its more a sign of desperation. Thanks for the helplines ... I will probably call one later when I find a quiet moment where I can talk.

Yes @Maggie ... just being there is helpful. We have known each other now .. what .. 4 years I think? You have always been a wonderful support to me, and I thank you so much.

@Gazza75 I was happy to see you back again from yesterday. I've missed seeing you around over the past few weeks. Relieved to hear that your farm is safe, and that you are relatively unaffected where you live. Although the smoke and other impacts are still there. From things you've said, I suspect that you live in the same area as my step-daughter and her family. Yes you are in the thick of things, but not in the immediate danger zone with the fires. Although the smoke and ash is a constant reminder that the fires are not far away.

Gazza the flashbacks are, I think, as a result of this being another leap year. This year it will be the sixth leap-year anniversary of my trauma. Yep a long time I know ... 24 years on 29th Feb. But when I relive that event via flashbacks, its like its happening now. And each time it happens, it takes a little more of my resilience away, my ability to cope. Added to the fact that I have not seen my psych now for 5 weeks, and been unable to contact her as I usually can, its making me feel very alone with all this. Despite the trigger warning on my thread, I am still unable to talk about some things here. So I have always done that with my psych. Its hard, really hard.

So in answer to your questions:

1. No, I havent changed any of my medications.

2. No, I'm not getting enough sleep ... between feeling so on edge and getting flashbacks during the day and nightmares at night ... sleep is just not happening.

3. No, I havent been to the gym for a week now, I had been going twice a week. No, I havent been doing my volunteer work at the nursing home either ... too tired, too triggered.

4. I havent even been able to do any of my diamond painting lately ... my hands are not steady enough to do it. Anxiety wont let up enough for me to place the drills accurately. I've tried, but had to unpick too many.

Thanks Gazza for your kind thoughts and love ... very much appreciated.

@Owlunar @Zoe7 ... I will have to respond to your posts later .. sorry .. feeling really unwell.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-MemberWhen the trauma triggers are most intense there is often no other option but to wait them out, breath and be gentle with yourself until, gradually they ebb away. Given that the whole country is in various states of panic and despair, and that you are so close to it all, it would double up on the feelings.

As one lady whose daughter raised a lot of money has said ... fighting the bushfires is Australia's war. I dont say it to frighten you but hope you gain some sense of validation for the seriousness of what you are feeling.

You are a deeply heartfelt and appreciated member of this forum.

Just reminding you.

Gentley Bentley

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

@how distressing to read how you are feeling and being so unable to help you.

The reason you are unable to ring your psyche is that you must really need to keep that appointment.

I think the new year is an awful time. Traditionally we have been taught to have expectations , just because the date has changed. Amazing. It doesn’t happen. It only happens if we make it so.

I understand that this is also a triggering time for you and dealing with that must be exhausting.

there are many of us here for you and wanting you to be ok and keep on communicating.

You will be in my thoughts today. I need you here, I am really struggling too.

Peri

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