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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Honestly Hon I do not need any response - just wanting to be here for YOU @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I'll get to it @Zoe7 ... just maybe not tonight. I thought all this would be easier. But it just isnt. 😢

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hon just having you here, connecting and still putting one foot in front of the other when you can is enough. KKeep reaching out @Former-Member You matter so much to us

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Quietly calling by with some ☕ and ❤ and thoughts @Former-Member.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

morning my friend @Former-Member , hugs for today

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for that wonderful and informative post - I do see you that way - a very supportive and understand person with a great deal to give - and you are a good writer too - and give excellent insight into the complex life you live

When it comes to leap-year I get it - my daughter was born just after the 29th of January - so it's 12 leap years since I managed to last 8 months of a traumatic pregnancy, I wanted her so badly I had a cervical suture and held onto her with crossed legs and crossed fingers and a lot of prayer -

And although it is entirely different from your experience I do have this culture-jump of one year being 4 - I thought she might be born on the 29 but she made it all the way to her own birthday in March but still on a leap year I am reminded

But for you - you were assaulted and there has been no justice served - and there is nothing at all silly that you have PTSD, flash-backs, nightmares and seem to lose the plot around leap-years - that is a reminder and one you don't need - but it's there and I am sorry - sorry you had such a terrible experience, sorry that justice could never be served and sorry you have to live through it again and again - which is not at all pleasant but a fact

About your therapist - it's disappointing that she didn't respond to your emails - that's hard - best you ask her about it but one thing we never know is what is going on behind the scenes in a therapist's life - they have stuff happening too and they are trained not to share it most of the time - and if she needed to shut herself off from all her work for a few weeks to refresh herself then I understand that - it means she can return to work better fitted to serve the needs of her remaining cllents - it's hard on you though so I think it's something to straight-out ask her esp as you were crying out for help in that time

Something actually that came through in your posts here - not the details but surely your life and it's stressors - I know things were rough for you.

I get what you are saying about your husband - you have a strong sense of your duty of care and he does need you. I get it that your love him but don't like him - and this is your decision and writing that makes it clear to me - I had no sense about that toward my ex-h - he seemed to be invulnerable - as if he had no needs - he never told me if he enjoyed his dinner, resented that I earned more money that he did, never expressed his love - I could go on - and I was hideously lonely though I had a life of my own. I thought marriage was a partnership. But I didn't want to break my marriage vows though - we had been married by my uncle in God's sight. Enough said - I do understand what you are saying and you are making the best choice for you - and you did get out of the way when you were in danger - and that is a good way to care for yourself

When it comes to the forum I think you are wonderful - your posts are incredibly supportive and well thought out - often you say things I wish I had thought of - and I find it invaluable that you are in the forum - we need the kind of leadership you show - there are leaders in the forum and you are one of them - and we know better than you might think when you don't have confidence in yourself - I really know this

It's warming up again today and I know that things are going to get tough in the fire-areas. The country is attracting world-wide support and this is wonderful to hear about - read about - there is so little we can do ourselves - but we can support our heros - and living in a fire area as you are - you are seeing it up close and you have courage even if you don't feel as if you have - you do

I appreciate your kind words about my posts too - we all need feedback

Thanks for your response - it fills in the spaces

Sending best thoughts

Dec

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

Dont mean to tell what you already know, re breathing. The smoke makes even that basic human action/necessity difficult. Yes trauma intrusions tend to cascade ... something to do with hormones.

Hearing the diffulties and loyalties and commitments.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Zoe7

My apologies for taking so long to respond to your post from 2 days ago. But finally getting around to it.

Yes I think you are right about the reasons for my inability to pick up the phone and cancel my psych appointment. She really has been my lifeline for quite a few years now. I was trying to figure out when I first started to see her. It was a long time ago, and initially for reasons other than my MH. I initially saw her because my GP referred me to her to help with pain management. So I saw her for a year or so for that, before she kind of stumbled upon other matters relating to the assault, DV, family tragedies, etc. So we have quite a long history. And she was so good to me while undergoing trauma therapy. She would phone or text several times a day to check on me, and insisted I text her each day to let her know how I was coping etc. I only did the trauma therapy when hubby was away, so I was otherwise alone. I will always be very grateful to her for all she did. And her care and generosity of time has continued through until recently.

I didn't tell you that the last time I saw her, at the end of November, it was very confusing and upsetting to me. Firstly she changed the day from the original day to 2 days later. I had no problem with that, it was because of a school commitment for her son. But on the day of my appointment she was running late, which again was not a problem. But when I finally did get in to see her, we talked very little. she asked me how I was going and I said 'okay'. Normally she will dig deeper and get the real story. She knows I never start easily and it takes me a while to get things out. That day she didn't even try. She seemed to not want to be there. In the end I was only there for barely 30 minutes, after which time she said she had a meeting to prepare for and promptly ushered me out the door. Our usual sessions are, at the very minimum, an hour and mostly an hour and a half.

I was charged the full $180, and only got back $52.95 because I had no MHCP sessions left, which she was aware of. So I was $130 out of pocket for a 30 min session, at which time we spoke of almost nothing. I left feeling hurt, confused, upset ... basically worse than when I went in there. I had a number of things I needed to talk to her about, and I never got the chance. My hurt turned to anger and frustration when I discovered that the receptionist had recorded a charge of only $52.95 through my Medicare account. That was the amount of the rebate I got back. It should have been the amount I actually paid, which was $180. So they stuffed that up too. And given I was very close to the Medicare safety net amount I likely would have got a higher rebate back if they'd recorded it correctly. I think I may not have minded so much if she only gave me 30 minutes when I get the $124.50 rebate back, but this one really hurt.

So I started to imagine all sorts of things ... she no longer cared, she was leaving after all, and perhaps worst of all ... she had given up on me. I was in the too hard basket as she was tired of trying to treat someone who was never going to get any better. All this did was to serve to make me feel even worse and start to panic that I had lost my only real support. I was panicking, desperate for an explanation, a reason. I sent an email in early December, which she never responded to. I sent another email in mid December ... again no response. I told her how I felt and why. And still not even the courtesy of an acknowledgement that she had received my emails. I know she was working up until the week of Christmas, so she had ample time to respond if she'd wished to. And so it served to make me feel that I was justified in believing that she had given up on me. And all this has been festering since 29th November.

So I think that is one of the reasons I've been feeling like isolating myself, withdrawing from the world and from people in it who hurt me. I thought I had reached out ... but that had failed. And if my psych has given up on me ... why should I keep on trying? So all I've wanted to do is shut down and shut everything out. And that urge only increased between early December and now.

Incidentally ... today I finally got an email reply from her, after nearly 6 weeks. Her email said "I got your email ... I thought we could discuss it when I see you next week". So I will keep my appointment, because I really want to talk to her about it all. But I don't know how it's going to go, there was nothing in her email to give me any indication.

Sorry ... more to say, but I have to go get dinner ready now. I will return to go through some more of the things you have discussed later.

Tagging others here who have also talked to me about whether to keep my psych appointment. The above may explain better the reasons why I have found this so hard.

@Former-Member @Maggie @Owlunar @Appleblossom @Peri @Scarecrowe @outlander @Shaz51 @CheerBear

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hugs @Former-Member

they are all understandable emotions you have shown in your message above , it does make it hard , i do understand xxx

as mr shaz has cancelled all his help as one of the psych blamed me for his continuing MI

keep your psych appointment i am thinking as christmas times is a crazy time of the year

hope she comes back ready to help, encourage and support you my darling friend xx

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