FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

1,351 - 1,360 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💜💜

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I'm really sad for you @Former-Member

@I'm thinking of you. I don't know what else to say

love you my friend ❤️❤️🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member very much hoping today is one of the better ones for you.

I do understand how hard it can be to walk away. It took me nearly 4 years to stop allowing him back into my life and that was after nearly doing me in and a long court case where he was given a suspended sentence. I am not telling you what to do other than be as safe as you can each time there's an episode. Sending support and care to you and hoping you are able to reach your psych today xx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

Perhaps it takes more strength to stay - my marriage was sad rather than bad but I couldn't stand it a moment longer

And the funny part is that he came to visit me a while later and told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore - I just collapsed onto the floor laughing - I had been telling him for years I wanted a divorce - I just wanted to separate really

I am pretty sure you will get out when you are ready - it's not easy - I had to plan and save money and really think it through -

So I don't think you are stupid or weak - just not ready - the day will come - I am sure - when you will get up and leave - until then - you have us

And I hope you are okay for a while - and start thinking about a different life - just plan something - let your mind work on it - and maybe you do have to stay because he needs you but - yeah - life does go on and we can never tell the future

Dec

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member ,

you don’t keep going back for more that is not right. You are married and have been together a long time. I can never justify your husbands behaviour, but it is not easy to leave a marriage. You have made a significant emotional and life investment in it and to leave is not just a matter to packing a bag and going. People here understand all these complexities.

I just feel so concerned for you.

i don’t post much as I feel I am just repeating the same pathetic stuff and don’t seem to move forward at all, but I get comfort from connecting with people here. You are one of them.

Peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

Sometimes I find Carer organisations helpful in finding the difference between caring and taking abuse.

Glad you are with us.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I answered your post on Monday - 16th - here acknowledging that leaving a marriagge is a tricky business that needs a lot of thought and preparation - but such a thing is up to the individual and maybe it takes more strength to stay and if it's strength to stay I didn't have that - who knows which fork in the road is best - only the person themselves and maybe only in retrospect

Yesterday - 16th - was the anniversary of my son's adoption and I was writing in the forum that morning but I was busy in the afternoon - and very tired in the evening - it was never a day that was celebrated - that was what happened for his birthday two weeks before - but it has never been a day that was full of public anything - just private thoughts - so it dragged me down a bit and I spent today catching up with myself - getting ready for Christmas like other people - and I got a lot of small things at the pharmacy and the girl wrapped them for me which was so cool - I am not high on the parcel-wrapping honour roll - egad - I do have a few small things to wrap - but that was easy -

Like everyone I am worried about BlueBay - I wish I could help and I have no doubt everyone else does too - she can't see how terrific she is - she just keeps going - and I think we can do that but she doesn't which is sad

I went to sleep early in the evening - so I am not in a hurry to go to bed yet although it's past midnight - you are such a kind and sensitive person and you do so much for your husband - I wish he appreciated you and what you do

But that's life - I hope you get a good night's sleep and I will most likely catch up tomorrow

Dec

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

how are you holding up @Former-Member ? 💛
1,351 - 1,360 of 2,344