Still broken, still safe.

Hey @Historylover I used to be surrounded by lots of friends and had one fantastic growth relationship. Not-so now! Many of them have since died or exited the psychiatric system or moved interstate. I know how hard it is to make friends.

I can't get out now due to a variety of reasons and am very sympathetic to your dilemma. It seemed so much easier than before trying to meet new people! I used to work for lots of voluntary agencies and enjoyed plenty of camaraderie & friendship but now my circumstances have changed and can't do that. I miss the deceased people I once knew.

The thought of going to groups can be daunting and vexing, you begin to think its just plain too hard or pointless. I'm sorry you had that experience with your shrink, its irresponsible what he did. I wish you healing and recovery from that situation.

I don't know what you can do but many voluntary care agencies are full of people that are kind and interested in serving others. You may be in more luck with service based industries catering to the general wellbeing of society.

U3A can be disappointing. All I can say for now is to keep plodding along, keep trying even if in the face of it that it seems futile.

In many cases you are meant to meet certain people and have a shared destiny together.

You are doing great however despite the existential hardship you face. Use the Zoom group as a temporary backstop I would suggest and then just put your feelers out and go to groups that express your individual inclinations, hobbies etc ❤️

I feel many people would love to be your friend as you come across really well. Don't let the actions of your shrink determine the future outcomes of your life. He really needs to be de-registered.

I hope something comes of your situation soon. Sending hugs your way. Stay Strong!

@Historylover Thank you for letting us know you are safe. Please continue to reach out for support here and externally crisis support if you need to. We are here and we care. Please stay safe.

Paperdaisy 💝

I thought his and my paths had crossed for a purpose, @Former-Member. I thought he was using his treatment of me to prove the many misconceptions of his and all others' psychiatry training, to enlighten his profession, invite cooperation within it, for the betterment of us all. But he was just using me to vent his spleen on. Just like all others in my life.

Thank you for your hugs and lovely response. I need them.❤️

You poor lady ❤️you don't deserve to be treated as such but he should have had maintained professional boundaries to protect you. I know our past experiences can sour our view on life but you are not your past. Its easy to get caught up in the pain others have caused and not see a better future for ourselves. Yes granted patterns flow through our lives and we can get caught up in the established threads that have woven their way through in day to day living. I recently had to clear my energy field so I did not end up attracting more of the same from other people. I learned this from a holistic healer I have tried some online free audios and paid audios to cleanse my energy body. I felt lighter and ready to begin starting over afresh confident in the knowledge that these pockets of energy have been released and I can get on with living again.

You almost made me feel like a person with your 'you poor lady'. Thank you. Anonymity can be so de-humanising, sometimes.

We did keep professional boundaries @Former-Member, never used familiar address, but had an understanding that we would meet socially at a later date. And then we simply got on with our work together. We were an undeniable team.

As for having your energy field cleared, I would once have considered such a bit questionable, but yesterday I found a youtube post after I told @Appleblossom that looking through her album's content made me feel very shallow and superficial, like I had lost my soul. I found a youtube post about restoration of soul, that described probably what you are referring to - energy fields which get invaded, even over-taken, by others' intentionally malicious, destructive energy. Like their bad energy/soul found somewhere to offload. It actually was in line with something my ex-psychiatrist once described to me concerning people who invade our personal space, in the sense of our energy field, our identity perhaps, not physical space. It made such sense to me and in line with my established understanding that I watched it all. I was quite amazed at the similarity but put it aside, thinking I am becoming so distressed that I am grasping at straws. I don't know what to do about this if I wanted to take it further as there must be many charlatans about. I did one youtube soul restoration but it was without benefit. I had just had a little rest.

Is this what you are referring to?

@Historylover you are very welcome I have respect for you. I don't know quite what you were referring to with the thing you watched but it sounds quite similar.

I use sound to clear my energy field. Its been a worthwhile endeavour. I was doing etheric cleanse and aura scrubber off Dr. Virtual7 (you tube) which were great, it required a long daily commitment and it was free. The etheric cleanse sub-liminal was like a major car tune up. The aura scrubber lifts off unproductive energy blasts.

Then I got into Jean Haner's book "Clear Home Clear Heart" she takes you through the steps of doing a dowsing cleanse to clear your energy body yourself. There are you tube videos of her to get a feel for the "clearings" she does.

Its more esoteric and comes across as a bit new age woo-woo to begin with but being a medical intuitive she assures people she can sense energy being released in a room of folks learning this method. It was more subtle and was DIY.

Lately I am into work on energy body clearing from a Patreon channel and can say it was the best. It cleared so much that I had more vitality added to my day. It is not free and on SANE we are not meant to promote other peoples work or make suggestions involving payment to 3rd parties. It was only a few dollars subscription per month but I'm not permitted to share! Have tried suggesting stuff in the past but my posts have been removed. But this Patreon channel is affordable and I've used all his other work both paid and unpaid to improve my life.

Thank you so much for your input @Former-Member. I'll have a look into it when I am feeling a little bit more inquisitive. At the moment, I am feeling absolutely exhausted by all this trauma, and I think it will be best if I clear my head, withdraw from everything I'm currently trying to make work in the real world, and traumatising myself by the effort. So-called 'normal people' have such an array of personalities and I don't trust any of them in the long term. Their subtle and sometimes blatant rudeness is like a sledge hammer to me. I just don't see the reason for it. I'll leave them to it.

Thank you, thank you for sticking with me through this. I hope I'll be able to keep going. Take care of yourself.

And thank you to all my forumite friends and supporters.❤️

Thats ok my dear, I think retreat is a good idea. I have to do that when I am ill-at-ease. Your body wants to heal and be whole @Historylover. Being traumatised is draining. Self soothing is the Rx. Give yourself some slack, you have been through a lot allready. Have a good nights rest and place no demands on yourself in the coming days xxoo

Hi @Historylover ,

I can hear that things have been very challenging for you recently. I'm glad to see you reaching out here to your forumite friends and supporters ( @Former-Member @Campbarry @Gwynn )

It is incredible and most important that we are able to connect with others, especially when things are tough going.

We are with you on your journey. Sometimes, it's okay just to stop trying for some time - take a step back, breathe, and give yourself some time.

Thinking of you. Sitting with you. Caring for you.

tyme

Hi History Lover @Historylover
I am new, and just signed up, as after 27 years of mental health, I need and looking for help also.

What did help me in a positive way 8 years ago when getting older and my MH declined as its persistant, as part our State Govt, Community Health, I did a program called Flourish. It was a two hour meeting one week, the second week, one on one with facilitator, it ran for 12 weeks and it was all good things, to do and positive converstations around what things make us feel good and things to do to cope.
I feel like giving up, I am not sucidal or anything, but sometimes ponder the quality of just existing, not been able to work, lack on money and so. But prior to my mental health coming out in full at about 30, I use to read spiritual/new age books, have studied some complimentary therapies. I believe in Hope, its my fav word. If a bad day (talk, journal etc, or be here on forum). But I work on having a good nights sleep. In the morning its a new days, even if its just or or two things, set your intentions for the day. Your member name in History Lover, are you in a local library or historical group in your local community for neutral, hobby time away from everyone.

After 8 years on been my worst and persistant and no medication is working, its driving me nuts. Hence I reached out today. I found your post the first one. Its been hard to find things that interest me. Most community ones are art or gardening lol, I am not into both. But I did somehow come across a free community called Laughter Yoga, its in the free air, like adult play school and helps with aeorbic exercise for lungs, and fresh air. I feel silly but my heart feels better for it. I just started last month on Seated Yoga because i am not fit for floor work, and my legs and hips are not that mobile. I have those things that benefit me lately and its made a difference. Some days I dont want to but that the mental health and lack of energy, even in things you enjoy. But if I persist with the good things I like, they work well and make me feel physically and mentall better for the day.
I am in a 12 step program and part of that is to Stay in the Day, Just one Day at a Time. ❤️ dont give up 🙂