New meds making me feel sick

Hang in there @BlueBay. Is jersey nearby for a hug? I know it feels unbearable. Is there any way I can help?

Thank you @Former-Member. Jersey was asleep upstairs in son's room.

@utopia I couldn't fall to sleep after my anxiety and tears. It took me quite a while. I even tried to ring the CAT team but hung up before they answered. I was too scared to speak with them. The pain in my stomach (ulcer??) was terrible but i am sure it is from the anxiety and stress. Don't think I got to sleep until after 2am. And I was up at 8am. So I think an afternoon nap is called for.

I still feel a bit light headed but not as bad as yesterday. Today hubby and i will go for a drive and there is a street market/festival nearby, so we may even go and look at that.

I have just watered the vegie patch and played ball with Jersey in the empty block of land across the road. She loves playing ball.

Off for a while, I will call back later on today. Do you have any plans for today?

Damn headaches - they're back; and every now and then I have this wave of nauseous come over me. Could be because I restarted my AD (day 2).

It's amazingn how much medication affects your body physically. And stopping and starting plays a big part of how you are physcially as well.

Tomorrow afternoon I have a session with my psych. Let's see what he has to say about me stopping my meds (as my GP wanted). I hope he doesn't get angry with me. But i am angry with him for not trying hard enough to call me last week.

I am going to tell him that I felt abandoned and rejected by him. And what if he changes my meds yet again?? I don't know if i can go through this again, more new tabs and changes.

Hi @utopia@Decadian@Former-Member@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@NikNik and anyone else I have forgotten

This morning started off nice, had my hair coloured. Session with psych was CRAP. I am so damn angry with him.

I told him that I have been feeling not good and told him about my gp stopping my meds becuse of my migraines. Psych says to me 'oh i haven't heard of that side effect before' - (does he believe me or not??)

I then said to him that i tried to speak with him last week and he says 'yes i returned your call twice' (yeah twice while i am at work!!!) And when i called last Thursday i purposely gave the receptionist my work number so he could call me at work. But do you know what psych says 'oh i didn't get that message'. What a load of rubbish.

I said to psych 'i was thinking that you may be angry with me becasue i stopped my meds' and he says no i am not angry.

Then i say to him 'so how do i contact you if i need to?' he says 'well i don't have an emergency number, and your issue was not an emergency. He then goes on to say 'since your therapist told you that he can no longer help you, you have been calling here more'. OMG by this stage i was ready to walk out. I said to him no i have called you three times last week because i was not well and had stopped my meds. He then says 'oh you are making this up, you have made this up to divert your anger onto me'?? I was so angry, i can't explain. My head was telling me to just get up and go, throw all his books on the floor. But i didn't

There has been no other times that i have called him. But he disagrees.

So now he has decided that i keep taking 1/2 strength of my meds for a month and will refer then. I left in a real deep anger mood, ready to hurt someone.

I drove to my GP in a foul mood, walked into his rooms and ranted and raved and then cried. I said to my GP 'if you don't want to see my anymore, i will go forever'. he turned around and said 'no why would i do that'. he said 'you are angry and it's best if you just let it all out here and chat with me. i then cried because i said to him that it's all my fault to which he said 'no it's not your fault that you stopped the meds', i told you to stop.

he said if psych was angry he could have rung my gp.

I now feel unsupported by psych and not believed anymore. that whatever i say he has another belief. so what is the point.

i now don't know what to do. part of me wants to just give up with this psych. so for the rest of the session i just sat there and did not say a word. and everytime he asked me a question 'how's work, or how's the family' i would just reply a one word answer.

He then says to me 'oh you don't look anxious like you have before'. What the hell, how does he know how i feel inside. i told him about my nightmares and he said 'so do you think the meds are working for your nightmares' - well der no i don't think they are if i am having nightmares!!!

OMG i need to stop ranting. have to go and get dinner ready i will come back on later.

pls help 😞