New meds making me feel sick

Sitting here listening to Elton John. It is disgusting outside, pouring with rain and hail.

Wish this damn cold weather would go away. This weather makes me really sad.

Have to stop myself from negative thougths.

@utopia thank you for the hugs. xxoo

right now I can't see anything positive.

All i can see are my faults. I keep thinking how much i am going to miss my therapist, being abandoned and feel jealous that he has other clients that will still see him. While i was in the waiting room this morning he client walked out and I thought 'gee how lucky is she, she will still get to see him'.

I really don't know how i am going to cope at next session (most likely the last) with my therapist. I am crying now just thinking about it.

Maybe i need to email him and tell him that's it it's over, i can't come to next session. i don't know.

He is one special person and now I am losing him - all because of me. 😞

i hope you are right @utopia in that this new psychologist will be good for me

do you know what makes things worse - when my bloody husband cracks it with me becaue i didn't understand what he was saying.

why do some men have to be like this; i wish i could run away (i know everyone keeps telling that wouldn't work)

self sabotage seems liek a good idea right now. nothing else is going to work. i am so angry right now.'

should sleep now but won't sleep tonight.

Oh how horrible @BlueBay 😞

Just what you needed after you were already having a crappy day, that really isn't fair of your husband at all. What else could you do to vent your anger that isn't self sabotage?

hi @BlueBay,

i know what your going through with your psychologist. I did exactly the same as you. I sent emails saying that I would change and tried everything. In the end I guess I did need to change but change and the feeling of abandonment is so intense. It is really awful for us to go through this, such an massive upheaval. I was guilty of not doing the work as much as I should have. I guess what I want to say and hopefully it will help is that you will learn from this and I think you will have a better relationship with your next therapist. I can look back now and see it as something that had to happen. When it happened to me I couldn't cope at all. I was constantly on crisis lines and when I wasn't I was drugging myself so I wasn't awake. I was spending 18-20 hours in bed and left my kids to fend for hemselves for about 3 months until I started with my current therapist. Slowly things are on a very slow climb up but I'm still all over the place. Last night I was in distress again as well and I hate it. Please go easy on yourself. It is such a distressing time. I still haven't dealt with the abandonment issues from that and my therapist has helped heaps with moving a way towards it.

Sending heaps of hugs because I understand the pain and insecurity you are going through with this 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤔🤗💐💐💐💐💐💐🎉🎉🎉

@Former-Member

❤️💕

Youre on my mind .....

Catch you tomotrrow ....

☕️💐❤️💕

@Zahlia

Just made spag bol for tea. Helping my daughter book her seats for her flight tomorrow. She and her boyfriend are off to the Gold Coast for a week. I will miss her so much.

Oh yummy! I love spag bol, such a quick easy meal.

It's nice your daughter is escaping this dreadful weather though.... the Gold Coast would be so lovely to holiday in!