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Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Sept 2016, 11:52 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

For this Carers Week special edition Topic Tuesday we will joined by Mind Australia. So we thought, why not ask the tough question that people are too apprehensive to ask:

Should I stay or should I go?

Mental illness can place a lot of strain on a relationship. When we focus so much on caring for our loved one, it can seem that our own needs take a back seat. It can get to a point when we begin to question if we should remain within a relationship.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to help your relationship deal with the strain of mental illness. Join us this Tuesday, October 18 from 7 - 9pm to discuss what you can do if you find yourself confronted questioning of whether you should stay or go. We'll be joined by @Mindcarers from Mind Australia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBF7wCrgfHc

Two things you can do now

1) Register as a Forum member to participate on the night

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

92 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:37 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

It sounds like most people posting on here are women which I find comforting that others are going through caring for a partner with a mental illness and have positive attidues about dealing with it.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @Mindcarers, do you mean handleing it another way ??

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi SunnyDay, it sounds like you have managed this situation as best you could, it's very hard when your loved ones lacks insight and won't accept any help

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I think a few of us could relate to this:

@Valociraptor89 wrote:
What are the odds of someone with a mental illness being able to successfully care for someone with a physical illness? I adore my partner, but I'm questioning how much either of us is good for each others quality of life..

Knowing that your loved one/partner can better can offer hope, but what happens if this seems like it's not possible or that the periods of unwellness are too infrequent? I think it's extremely difficult to care for someone who doesn't care for themselves. I'd rather be a 'support' in this sense. Of course, there may be moments when they are unable to care for themselves and make wise decisions, but in the periods of wellness, maintaining wellness could be approached as a team. What do others think? To @Melstar71 point about nagging, if you are both work towards on common goal, perhaps it's could be considered as reminding?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Melstar71Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I've set some boundaries and I had to take over the finances. If he needs anything I give him cash but he has no access to credit cards etc due to past experiences of purchasing and giving the card away to other people. Having set boundaries are helping.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi Tancate, there are many carer groups around for adults, you can call the Mind carer helpline and we can assist you to find a more appropriate group - phone us during business hours and we can assist 1300 554 660 - from any state in Oz

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:44 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi Shaz51, great strategy that works well in many situations, sometimes waiting to address difficult conversations is a good strategy

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Oct 2016, 7:44 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @mindcares,
I have a plan and resources to leave should the need arise but I worry sometimes that this might be the wrong approach. Maybe not accepting enough

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

A facilitator at a carers group said don't lose sight of the person you feel in love with before the illness took over or arose. I find I live in hope that my husband will stay in recovery for longer than he is unwell or a miracle will happen and a cure found for mental illness sufferes. I cherish the good times too.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi Carer101 - that sounds like a very practical approach. It also means that because you've planned ahead that you've made a conscious decision to stay, rather than staying because you don't have another option.

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.