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Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Sept 2016, 11:52 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

For this Carers Week special edition Topic Tuesday we will joined by Mind Australia. So we thought, why not ask the tough question that people are too apprehensive to ask:

Should I stay or should I go?

Mental illness can place a lot of strain on a relationship. When we focus so much on caring for our loved one, it can seem that our own needs take a back seat. It can get to a point when we begin to question if we should remain within a relationship.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to help your relationship deal with the strain of mental illness. Join us this Tuesday, October 18 from 7 - 9pm to discuss what you can do if you find yourself confronted questioning of whether you should stay or go. We'll be joined by @Mindcarers from Mind Australia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBF7wCrgfHc

Two things you can do now

1) Register as a Forum member to participate on the night

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

92 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:26 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I think anger and irritability is common for those who suffer from depression. It can be very upsetting.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:27 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Does that mean you have a physical issue?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:27 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @Former-Member, @tancate

I know what you mean too

I stay because I love my partner ,

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:29 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

itas good to know that and to work from that basis, but it doesnt mean you cant reassess at this stage. You can have a conversation to try to get some more of your needs met.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:30 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I went to carers groups but most of the people in the groups were dealing with children with mental illness.

Even though my partner suffers from a MI I justify it with the fact that some "normal" people have worse behaviour than those suffering from mental illness eg people with addictions or abuse problems.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Melstar71Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:31 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I stay because he is a wonderful husband when the illness doesn't take over but sometimes I feel like a "nagging wife" when it comes to monitoring his alcohol intake and "manic" type moods.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @Mindcarers

You can have a conversation to try to get some more of your needs met.-- over time @Mindcarers, I have done that over the last 9 years

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

SunnyDayCasual Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:33 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

The person who is mentally ill is my ex-husband now, and I live in the same house as him. He has undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I am the diagnoser as he will never see a mental health professional. I have studied some psychology subjects as part of the nursing degree I have just finished. My ex-husband comes across as very narcissistic at times, and the opposite at other times. Many of the self help books you can get tell you to leave a narcissist. This why I left for 8 years. But standing on the sidelines I could see him messing up my grown up kids lives. I live in the same house but work on enforcing strict boundaries.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:35 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hello @Melstar71

I find if I am calm and relax my husband who has a mental illness is more relaxed

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:35 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi Melstar71, this is a common situation that carers find themselves in, sometimes our partners need someone to care for them in this way but long term this is not what you got into the relationship for, how could you try and manage this?

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