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Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Sept 2016, 11:52 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

For this Carers Week special edition Topic Tuesday we will joined by Mind Australia. So we thought, why not ask the tough question that people are too apprehensive to ask:

Should I stay or should I go?

Mental illness can place a lot of strain on a relationship. When we focus so much on caring for our loved one, it can seem that our own needs take a back seat. It can get to a point when we begin to question if we should remain within a relationship.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to help your relationship deal with the strain of mental illness. Join us this Tuesday, October 18 from 7 - 9pm to discuss what you can do if you find yourself confronted questioning of whether you should stay or go. We'll be joined by @Mindcarers from Mind Australia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBF7wCrgfHc

Two things you can do now

1) Register as a Forum member to participate on the night

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

92 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:18 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Tancate -it's good that you are taking time to do things for yourself. Even the grieving is part of this-hard though it may seem at the moment.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

SunnyDayCasual Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:18 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I am curious also for the answer to the question as there is a lot of advice that a partner should leave. If the partner leaves they then feel guilty as they stand by and watch the mentally ill person struggle with life. This is even more difficult when you have children to the person who is mentally ill. The children of the relationship still want the best for the mentally ill person.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:19 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member wrote:
Hi
I find the anger which comes with the depression and anxiety difficult.
Because of this it is very difficult to know at what time you need to worry more.

Hi @Former-Member,

is this because it's hard to know when anger is a symptom of depression or anxiety? Or is it because your partner gets angry and doesn't want help?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:20 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

If I was in a situation to leave I may leave if things were still the same in 4 years.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Oct 2016, 7:20 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @tancate,
I know what you mean. Dealing with grief is an ongoing thing.
I stay because I love my partner and sometimes he can be himself if you know what I mean.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:21 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Yes SunnyDay. Guit can be very difficult to deal with. Whether staying or going, the partner with a mental illness will still have a struggle with life.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

@SunnyDay, it can feel like your damned if you, and your damned if you don't. It is possible to stay in 'a relationship' though may require some adjustments and boundaries. By this mean I mean, knowing how much you can give, and where the giving stops. It's ok to have limits. @tancate mentioned going out and doing things.

In my personal experience, I dealt with someone's anger by simply not engaging with them when they were irritable or frustrated, but I would be open and willing to offer support if they were calm and/or could speak to me in a way that I felt ok with.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Valociraptor89New Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

What are the odds of someone with a mental illness being able to successfully care for someone with a physical illness? I adore my partner, but I'm questioning how much either of us is good for each others quality of life..

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

SunnyDay I wonder who has been telling you you should leave and how you feel about that?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Oct 2016, 7:25 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @CherryBomb
Probably a bit of both really. I am inclined to think that the anger helps him to keep going.

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