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Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Sept 2016, 11:52 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

For this Carers Week special edition Topic Tuesday we will joined by Mind Australia. So we thought, why not ask the tough question that people are too apprehensive to ask:

Should I stay or should I go?

Mental illness can place a lot of strain on a relationship. When we focus so much on caring for our loved one, it can seem that our own needs take a back seat. It can get to a point when we begin to question if we should remain within a relationship.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to help your relationship deal with the strain of mental illness. Join us this Tuesday, October 18 from 7 - 9pm to discuss what you can do if you find yourself confronted questioning of whether you should stay or go. We'll be joined by @Mindcarers from Mind Australia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBF7wCrgfHc

Two things you can do now

1) Register as a Forum member to participate on the night

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

92 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:09 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi @tancate, sounds like that MI puts strain on the relationship and you in several ways - you provide support both financially and emotionally, which sounds draining, but your partner is unable to support you through these difficulties. How long have you been caring for your partner?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:09 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

So the topic 'Should I stay or should I go' has arisen for me many times. My partner has been ill for 4.5 years out of our 11 year relationship. At times I wonder if I'm better off leaving but he's a good person and I do love him. I am curious how others with partners suffering from a mental illness justify staying with their partner.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Jane230Casual Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:10 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

My partner suffers from mental health issues and I am struggling, as I feel like the focus of our relationship is centred on his needs at the expense of mine. It is even more difficult, as his ability to do basic everyday tasks are limited which makes life feel unbalanced, unequal, and quite stressful.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:10 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Difficult to answer - the reasons may be different for each person

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:11 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hello @Mindcarers, @CherryBomb

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Oct 2016, 7:11 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

Hi
I find the anger which comes with the depression and anxiety difficult.
Because of this it is very difficult to know at what time you need to worry more.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:13 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

@tancate and @Jane230, seems like you both share similar experiences where it feels like your partner' needs take centre stage while yours remain on the periphery. May I ask what would it be like if things remained the same way as they are now, for say, another 4 years?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:13 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

jane230 -its common for carers to feel they are never on the 'agenda' re their needs in the relationship. It can be very tough

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

tancateContributor18 Oct 2016, 7:15 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

I have been caring for my partner for 4.5 out of 11 years of our relationship. He recently had a job but it only lasted 4 months. I am trying to deal with it by spending more time with my friends, hobbies, work and family but I am grieving for the personality of the person I met.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

MindcarersSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:16 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Should I stay or should I go? // 18 Oct. 7pm AEDT

For carers -it would be good to ask how might you have your needs become part of the agenda? Could you start a conversation with your partner about this?

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