Hi @butterflychaser
It’s so lovely to hear from you 💜
Thank you so much for your beautiful compliment 💜 It was my pleasure to share some of my thoughts with you and I’m so pleased that you found these helpful 💜
Oh butterflychaser 💜 I’m so deeply sorry to hear that you no longer have any dreams for your future and my heart goes out to you 💜
In my experience, allowing ourselves to dream can sometimes feel like a luxury that we can’t afford, especially when our dreams no longer symbolise hope or the possibility of a brighter future and instead, they serve as a painful reminder of missed opportunities and futures that are vastly different from the ones that we hoped for 💜
For as long as I can remember, one of my dreams was the opportunity to be able to work therapeutically with children who had experienced trauma. As such, I completed the relevant university degree and just prior to graduating, I was offered an amazing employment opportunity which I eagerly accepted.
However, shortly after I began my new position, my life was suddenly changed by a series of adverse events and as a result, this new and exciting phase of my life ended almost as quickly as it had begun. As such, my world began to crumble around me and I watched helplessly as the career that I loved and had worked so hard for, disappeared before my eyes.
During this time, I was forced to take a leave of absence and as a result, my career ground to a halt. As such, my lifelong dream ended abruptly and my days that were once so full of promise and opportunity, were now filled with emptiness, uncertainty and loss - which was a far cry from the future that I had envisaged for myself!
For almost a year, I barely existed and I spent my days dragging myself to countless medical and therapy appointments. I lived in what felt like a perpetual state of darkness and I fell into a deep state of despair. My dreams lay in tatters and my future as I saw it, was now in ruins.
In addition to the feelings of despair and hopelessness, I also felt incredibly angry that (through no fault of my own) my life had changed in ways that I had no control over and I resented having to attend a barrage of never ending appointments with different health professionals.
It was at this time, that I suddenly realised that I was under no obligation to participate in any of these appointments and as such, I began to question what it was that kept me returning to my Therapist’s office week after week?
Suddenly it dawned on me that I had actually never stopped dreaming 💜 Instead, I had buried my dreams in an attempt to protect myself from the heartache and disappointment that comes from the repeated loss of our dreams and the things that we cherish and hold dear.
Although I didn’t realise it at the time, there was a part of me that was still fighting to rebuild my life and another part of me that realised that participating in therapy would provide me with the key that I needed to rebuild my life and unlock my dreams 💜
As I sat here thinking about you and the question that you asked, ‘but what if someone doesn’t have dreams for the future anymore,’ I noticed that despite all of the challenges that you’ve experienced, you’re still advocating for yourself and doing everything within your power to find the care and support that you need 💜
As such, I just ever so gently wondered, if your courage and determination to make changes in your life, is driven by a sense of longing for a different type of future and perhaps (without even realising it) your actually working towards one of your dreams?
I hope that what I’ve shared with you helps you a little bit 💜
Please know that I’m thinking of you at this time and sending you some very gentle and caring hugs 💜
Take care of yourself,
ShiningStar 💜
