Seeking some hope

Hey there @butterflychaser,

Welcome back to the forums, and Happy New Year 😊

Glad to hear the TMS is working for you, though I'm sorry to hear that you're living with what sounds like a felt sense of hopelessness. Does that sounds like the right description?

You mentioned that you don't have a lot that things that will change for you, but I'm wondering if there are any small things that you might be able to change or work towards changing?

To answer your question, I can identify with that feeling of hopelessness at times. I've noticed that it coincides with low mood, rumination, all those wonderful things that accompany depressive style thinking 🙃 When that sense of hopelessness hits I now tend to move towards the good, so that might mean the things in my life that are working or something that is good in the world (e.g. seeking out good news stories, and this thread over here is a great place for that: https://saneforums.org/t5/Social-Spaces/Good-News-Channel/m-p/1097589

Another strategy that works for me is to learn something new. By engaging with new experiences, even if those are online, it makes me feel revitalised/stimulated mentally and that in turn makes me feel a little more hopeful. Being stagnant, for me, is a breeding ground for hopelessness.

@butterflychaser I'm glad to see that you've reached out again in the forums and I trust there will be others from the community along soon who may be able to share some of their tips for coping with hopelessness. I'm going to tag a few members who might have the space to share @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Bow @TAB @Snowie @AussieRecharger @ShiningStar @Gwynn @HenryX @Bunniekins

Hi @butterflychaser Thank you for reaching out here. I can relate to this in some ways. When you say you don't have a lot of hope things will change for you, do you mean circumstances or yourself as a person?

Hi @butterflychaser, it's great that the TMS has had a positive impact on your mood. I can relate about needing to find hope, have hope held for you, make your own hope. A while back, we had a fairly wide-ranging discussion on hope, https://saneforums.org/t5/Looking-after-ourselves/todays-question-what-gives-you-Hope/td-p/1022346 which you might like to look through. If you were to take a shoebox and put items in it that represented the hopes you have, what would you put in?

Hey @butterflychaser Great your mood is improved. Maybe its TMS or maybe time off. Time will tell. Do you get any positive feelings about your work? I know it can be frustrating but it often has other intangibles.

I have been pretty isolated apart from family commitments. It keeps me going. I tend to have projects or interests that are meaningful, and to my mind make the world a better place. That is the main way I get small moments of hope or joy. If I were to look too hard or too long into the future I might start feeling more hopeless, so I try and keep things practical.

Welcme to the forum

Apple

welcome back @butterflychaser

Great your mood is improved.

looking too hard or too long into the future I start feeling more hopeless too , so I try and keep things practical and staying in the now like @Appleblossom said

what interest do you enjoy ?

what hobbies do you like doing ?

here for you my friend

@butterflychaser

I actually feel lonely all the time, and i come here for comfort. I can be surrounded by people but i find the topics to be disheartening, they seem so superficial and there's never talk of how someone helped another. We are all focused on what we can get and then we are negative towards others in a way to feel better about ourselves but ultimately it leads to feeling empty because the most fulfilling thing you can do is to help another person to believe in themselves.

I have hope for the future because I see here every day the hard-working people who spend time here to encourage others to keep going even when the odds might be stacked against them, and in that is the community of change that I see. Small things that make a difference for all.

Every day I wish I did not feel lonely and feel more connected but then, I might not be here helping others.. and maybe thats the trade-off for me.

Let me know if that makes sense.

@butterflychaser This might sound a strange answer to your question, but volunteering has really helped me. It has given me hope, new friends, a purpose and structure for my week, and a sense of usefulness.

Another thing that has given me hope is long-term therapy with a psychologist. It has provided some healing, and hope that things can change for the better, which they have done. Also hope that the therapist can help me deal with whatever I can't manage.

I hope you can find some hope...

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts, wisdom and experience - it makes me feels less alone to know that others also struggle with this and your insights have given me much to reflect on (as has the discussions in the shared threads). Thank you 😍

Hi @butterflychaser

I just wanted to reach out to say welcome back to the forums - it’s so lovely to have you here 💜

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with your mental health since you were a teenager and my heart goes out to you 💜

As I listened to this part of your story, I can really appreciate how you’ve reached a place in your life where it feels almost impossible to hold onto any sense of hope 💜

Holding hope for ourselves can be challenging at the best of times and in my experience, this becomes even harder when we’ve done everything within our power to create a different future for ourselves and yet despite our very best efforts, our circumstances remain unchanged.

It’s during these times that finding the emotional reserves to keep going can take everything that we have and I really admire your determination to continue to search for the care and support that you need and deserve 💜

Wow! Just from what you’ve described, the TMS treatment that you’re currently participating in sounds extremely promising and I really hope that the changes that you’re beginning to notice continue 😊

Although I still wrestle with feelings of hopelessness, one of the things that has helped me to be able to hold onto hope is taking some time to think about what I would like my future to look like. Once I have a picture in my mind, I chose one of those things and consider some of the ways that I could gently work towards making this a reality. For example, I would love to reach a place in my life where I can return to my career 😊 As such, I decided to participate in a few short online courses that are relevant to my line of work. Although this doesn’t address the challenges that prevent me from working or speed up the process of being able to return to work, it does create a small thread that keeps me connected to one of my dreams 💜 This in turn helps me to be able to hold onto hope, as I’m keeping this part of my future alive 💜

I can really appreciate how difficult it can be to hold onto hope 💜 As such, I think that you should be incredibly proud of yourself, as despite everything, you’re still trying to find a way to make the changes in your life that are important for you 💜

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was relatively new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @butterflychaser that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

Please remember that you’re always welcome to reach out here whenever you need to 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜