Hello @NatureLover, @BPDSurvivor and @AussieRecharger ( and @Appleblossom and @wellwellwellnez and @Clawde ) –
Firstly I’d like to thank you all for your amazing support. I made it through yesterday. More importantly, I made it through yesterday having read NatureLover’s gorgeously supportive early morning post early in the day before everything started to come at me, and at many points throughout the day I tried to be mindful (uh-oh, I mentioned ‘the word’) of what NatureLover had said and, because of that post indeed felt (as NatureLover had written) that I had “enough support for [me], at the time when [I] need[ed] it”. One of my many issues is that I have no self worth (I have absolute buckets of self esteem, but those who have similar issues will appreciate the distinction) to the point that my self worth is (unhealthily) dependent on outside influences. Yesterday, though, in crisis mode, I took self worth wherever I could find it: and I found it in spades in NatureLover’s message – that a stranger could go to such trouble to reach out with such a warm, and such an understanding greeting to me on a very, very difficult day in my life made me feel not only accepted and understood but even a little bit resilient. Thank you sincerely, NatureLover. Big love hearts to you.
The result of the hearing yesterday was that the case will now be heard in the new year. This was a good result. Every time the case goes before the court there is a chance that we could lose the house and, without a lawyer, we are at the mercy of procedures that stymie and baffle us, even though our understanding of the legislation and the case law is thorough. We have staved off two such attempts to have the house taken in as many months. Given that this has pitted family member against family member it’s very unpleasant.
What was not unpleasant was reflecting on NatureLover’s and AussieRecharger’s thoughts about forgiveness: both of which positions I thoroughly agree with. And I was taken, too, with AussieRecharger’s question about whether my son is proud to have me as his dad. “Crikey!” as some of us are wont to say, I don’t know, AussieRecharger! Like any adolescent child, he has a healthy rejection of his parents going on, and his parents are both successful in a way that is not financially (or societally) rewarded. He would prefer it if we were good little capitalists saving up a nest egg for him and has said as much. So, while I know that he and I enjoy each other’s company, and actually like each other, I couldn’t say for sure whether he is proud of me or not.
This actually goes to a very kind comment that NatureLover made about my writing here. This is actually what I do as a “day job” (as much as you can call it that) and I appreciate NatureLover’s remark more because I am at that point of my career (again, if you can call it that) where, for a long time now, it’s everybody else’s work that is the focus and I very, very rarely get compliments (and that’s okay: a good teacher should have a comfortable relationship with limiting their own ego). Of course, when I do get a compliment, I get a bit borderline about it and go all gushy, but I am also very sincere when saying thank you. I want to say thank you to NatureLover for that very kind compliment, and to all of you who have read and supported me here, by posting a bit of my work that was completed the day before I joined this forum. I hope my words here in verse bring a bit of life and laughter to balance out some of my darker words in prose that I have committed to these pages.
With a very big thanks and light and love,
J
the Elsa impersonator had some outdated references
she faced Tetris anxiety in a portable igloo
led the cheerleading practice on Hoth for the Rebels
she debunked all the orbs in the Dyatlov Pass incident
made frozen meat popsicles with Walt’s head in a pickle
drank ice-cream all day by the pool with pink squirrels
she’d found witches in wardrobes while Jon Snow acted grizzled
fought the abominable Olafs opposed to net zero
and laughed like a sunset on moon-dappled meadows
