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Lilly6Senior Contributor
Hello. I haven't posted for a while. I have wanted to offer support to others here but haven't felt able to do so. I don't know why I can't get to a better place emotionally, why I keep sliding back to feeling like it is pointless being around. I don't feel right. I feel depressed. I feel like I am never good enough.
I have missed the members here that I interacted with when I was here before, I hope you are well.
In response to: Hello darkness my old friend
Lilly6Senior Contributor
Christmas seems to have come around so fast, hopefully it can be a nice distraction to all of us after a very tough year.
In response to: Hello darkness my old friend
Unknown userMember
In response to: Hello darkness my old friend
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
Lilly6Senior Contributor
@Former-Member Thank you, I think my therapy is helping even though it is very much two steps forward one step back. But I feel gradually it is helping. My GP is ok but a bit hit and miss I feel in terms of feeling supported. Not her fault though, she means well. I’m glad you find phone therapy helpful, I don’t find it unhelpful but I prefer the face to face which is ironic considering I usually will text to avoid other forms of contact at all cost!
I feel like recently I turned a corner - I am studying right now and I managed to get an assignment completed. That doesn’t sound like much and I have completed many assignments in my life but this one was different. Since my breakdown which probably commenced about 2 years ago now I have been unable to complete anything and had a mental block that took over every time I tried to. A year ago I tried to study and had to withdraw as I couldn’t bring myself to do the assessment items. But this time, I forced myself to keep going. And it was hard. So very very hard and I nearly quit so many times. In the end though, I finished and submitted it and it wasn’t great I know as I found it so hard to commit to. BUT I finished it. And it changed something in me. It gave me hope. It felt awesome. Even though things are still really really hard, I feel things are going to get better.
Thank you
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
Lilly6Senior Contributor
@Former-Member Thank you so much, I appreciate your support. I feel ready now to be more present here and give back at least some of the support I have been given.
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
Unknown userMember
@Lilly6 This is amazing to hear 😊😊 It feels SO good when you start to turn that corner, and so lovely to see that community support @Former-Member.
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Glad to hear you are turning a corner. @Lilly6
That is huge working through to completion after a breakdown.
It is funny how our pics, profile names and thread names can continue to resonate.
My most recent voice message is a friend singing ... Hello darkness my old friend ...
Take care
Apple
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
Lilly6Senior Contributor
@Appleblossom Thank you 😊
I agree about different things resonating and your voice message made me smile - so lovely. 💕
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Hello darkness my old friend
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
@Lilly6
He is a dag and I am a dag and we are both musos amd played it a bit together a year ago.
Tbh I keep my expectations low so I can be pleasantly surprised when good things happen.
Hope you are doing alright.
Thinking of studying again myself. Its been about 10 years ... hmmmm .... all my books on that subject are stuck behind my son's stuff in spare room ... so there's a job.... next week ...lol
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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