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no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor

no choices

Gday im 45 just coming out of a divorce where my children have been systematically taken from me after being a stay at home dad for around seven years. My ex walked out claiming she was living a single life anyway . I kept the kids but started to struggle when she locked me out of our joint account . I was in shock and not copping . Her parents bought her a new house . I was struggling to keep food on the table and pay the bills when i decided maybe it would be best if the kids lived with there mum who had financial backing of her parents . Thats when the lawyer letters started claiming i was mentally unfit to see my children...anyway long story ive basically lost every thing now with a 20,000 debt and still dont get to see my kids ...the courts dont even seem to care about anything i have to say im constantly agreeingto her demands to at least get a supervised visit or phone call....now im giving up feeling like the system agrees with her and im better off out of the picture ...ive started saying goodbyes to friends and family ...my heart constantly aches for my boys ..ive missed so much already ...sick of crying and cant function...last ditch effort.

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In response to: no choices

NikNikSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

Anniversary of deaths have a significant impact on our mental health - and not to mention everything else you're going through at the moment. Additionally alcohol is a depressant so please be careful drinking tonight. It's highly likely it's going to further impact your state of mind in a negative way tonight, rather than the opposite - I hope you choose not to put yourself through additional pressure than you already have going on.

The suicide rate for men is tragically high - you are absolutely right. I was looking at the Mensline Forum and see a fair few men talk about the family court system. It seems a lot of men are going through similar situations to you.

While these Forums are not crisis support, there are services that you can reach out to, to discuss thoughts of suicide - I mentioned them last night, but just so you have them handy, they are:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or crisis chat

Suicide call back: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

Mensline: 1300 78 99 78 or online counselling

Please keep safe tonight and continue to reach out for support.

Take care,

Nik

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Thanks but im doe reaching out ....theres nothing out there for me....no kids no life...im dead already

In response to: Re: no choices

NikNikSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

Although it doesn't feel like it at the moment, you do still have your kids. You might not be able to see them right now, but that will not always be the case, unless you choose it to be.

I can imagine you have used a lot of energy to keep going, particularly when you feel as though it hasn't got you the result you want - seeing your children. It's exhausting.

A lot of people here know what it's like to keep reaching out for help and feeling like they aren't getting anywhere. But almost everyone here has found that right person/people to help. It doesn't mean everything is fixed; there are still bad times, but the perseverance is worth it.

While your current situation is devastating and difficult, it isn't permanent.

I encourage you to persevere and we're here to support you.

In response to: no choices

PrincessmollySenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Dont become another statistic.
Dont let HER win.
Don't do it to your kids (my mum did and i am broken they will always blame themselves).
Luving well is the best revenge.
You deserve happiness.
Fight for your rights. Its flocking unfair but form support groups for men in the same situation. My dad got sole custody back in the 80s it can be done.
If you only get to see them 2 hours a week make every second count. Hold them, talk to them, soak them in. Its not fair but it will get better slowly.
This is a maratohon not a sprint and you can do it

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Thank you

In response to: no choices

PrincessmollySenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Seriously @seamusunsean we all care and we all want you to succeed. At the end of the day if you can say you have done everything in your power to improve or acheive enen the littlest of things you are a winner. My fav saying is "i dont aim for perfection but every day i try to be a little bit better than yesterday".

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Thanks mate yeah kicked myself in the arse up and about a bit shown real estates through house ..just gotta get outta here if its not memories its feelung overwhelmed by things im court ordered to do apparently ....thanks for putting up with my bs ...you guys know stuff an that....real troopers...oh no bloody water works again ...im off

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor

Re: no choices

Got a heep of nerf guns yesterday. ...cant wait to show the stuntmen...lol...maybe xmas

In response to: no choices

PrincessmollySenior Contributor

Re: no choices

@seamunsean your last two posts have made my day! So good to see you out and about doing things.

In response to: no choices

Unknown userMember

Re: no choices

years ago I remember hearing about a support group for fathers only - I'm sure that it was for fathers rights in seeing their children and single parent fathers, something along those lines. do any of the moderators on here know of anything like that? there would be many other men in the same situation.
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