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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Glisten @cloudcore @Lollipops @Glisten @dazza12 @ChouxieChou

An analogy of a lollipop could be that just like a lollipop brings sweetness and joy to someone's day, a kind gesture or act of kindness can also bring happiness and positivity to someone's life. Just as a lollipop is a simple treat that can brighten someone's day, small acts of kindness can have a big impact on others.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I copied that from somewhere about lollipops.

I'm going to the supermarket to purchase a cuppa chup.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Don’t forget to brush your teeth 🪥

@PeppyPatti @Lollipops 😁

G

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hi All!

Thank you for being such a welcoming bunch! I've moved to Brisbane about four months ago from a regional town in Central Australia and am kind of struggling with regulating when it comes to interpersonal relationships and starting fresh.

To answer the below questions:

1. Loneliness looks like going on the dating apps and not talking to anyone, messaging my friends on socials and not receiving a response, and then I sort of regress into myself and when people do get back to me, I don't reply. I think its a vicious cycle.

2. For me, loneliness feels like a deep dark void, like something is missing deep in me. Sometimes its not sad but its just a part of me.

3. Between 5pm and 7pm after work, loneliness hits me the most. I think its coming home to a vacant apartment and knowing that there's not someone coming through the door to see me.

4. Managing isn't the same as overcoming, but during that evening time, I try to take myself out for walks, I do a paint by numbers, a meccano set, journal and remind myself that its okay to be alone.

Well that's my take on loneliness and I'm not sure I'll really ever overcome it but I'm sure I'll find ways to manage my feelings and develop some really good relationships in this awesome city 🙂 Stay well all!

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Chrisp hello

I'm PeppyPatti

Thankyou for writing in.Are you starting afresh after moving

Relationship breakup ?

Sorry if I'm wrong.

The people here are great

@dazza12 @cloudcore @Glisten @Lollipops @TAB @Former-Member @creative_writer @tyme @Jynx @Shaz51 @Jacques to name a few...

@Lila3 @Meowmy

@Tilz @Madge @Adge @ELENKI @ Appleblossom

My son Lives in Brisbane. I live on the other side of the universe in Perth.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Chrisp 👋🏼 welcome to the forum.

That is a BIG move.

Point 4. You wrote

4. Managing isn't the same as overcoming, but during that evening time, I try to take myself out for walks, I do a paint by numbers, a meccano set, journal and remind myself that its okay to be alone.
From my experience the end of relationship is a period of mourning. Grieving the loss of what you thought that person was, what the relationship was. The future you thought you had.

Your sense of place, belonging and purpose is gone.

It is a massive loss.

I have been permanently changed by my losses. I manage the grief a little better over time. I make time to grieve for the person I was. She tried so hard and didn’t deserve what happened to her.

I’m not her but I loved her. She fell in love with a man that didn’t exist and she mourns him like a widow.

I don’t know what my future holds. I know what I am good at and I know what makes me happy. I am a person in progress.

G @PeppyPatti

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Chrisp, @PeppyPatti this post moved me emotionally. Losses are hard. As life goes on, they grow like tumble weeds scattering the desert landscape. At least for some of us.

I was in a relationship with a person with narcissistic/ psychopathic traits. I nearly lost my life in that context. He was simply a mirage. Also a deeply troubled person. I grieve what I thought existed. Alas-castles made of sand.

Difficult endings are an opportunity to reflect on our strengths. What fire in you helped you survive or make the choice to move forward? Or was it a choice made for you?

Endings are also new beginnings. 🦋

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Lila3 we came out of a similar relationships. I’m still trying to get through the financial settlement. G

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Glisten yeah the repercussions are far reaching. Yet there will come an end point.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Dearest @Glisten

This post made me feel quite emotional.

I felt real distress and .....

Maybe frustration ?

Much distress.

Is it right that grief sometimes comes out in little spurts of tears ?

@Glisten

Your precious.

 

 

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