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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

And you are very welcome here.

@Artemis8 I like your honesty and brave expressions.

Your story - perhaps in a year your self will be a little stronger ?

It difficult sometimes to work out what isn't working and what you don't deserve.

I was listening to something about homelessness here in Perth. A very successful stockbroker in London, but from Perth had suffered a Head injury and put $100000 in his back pocket and blew everything he had within a year and today lives in a halfway house on a pension.

I felt - and my story - a head injured sufferee - I'm there,

I get it.

It's that easy for things to blow up.

You, it feels, already have a good quality - that you know what you don't deserve ?

Don't know if I'm right or wrong. I hardly ever make sense -

In a good way .....it's new for me,

It's my first time doing life ( @Glisten )

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I am so tired of feeling lonely and it doesn't help when you have people around you saying that your being selfish cause my son has just had a baby boy Tuesday so should be over the moon which of course I am and still ha e my youngest son still with me but he stay in his room. Playing games online and awake all night sleeps all day it's just when I'm home it comes on.

I miss my daughter very much who moved to Newcastle 10yrs ago now and has a partner and a little girl which I never see and my family live in Sydney and when covid hit I haven't seen them since then.

I'm not good at making friends and it's very hard for me to leave the house especially now that my agraphobia and panic attacks are back

I was hoping my psychiatrist would have helped me and maybe re look at my meds but he said no it's not the meds and that I have to work out what it is that I'm missing.

I understand what your going through @Lila3 @Artemis8 it's not easy

@tyme @cloudcore @PeppyPatti

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hugs @saturnzoon ,

I'm hearing all these big feelings going through your mind right now.

We are sitting with you.

tyme

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hey @Artemis8 ,

What are some things that help you with managing the loneliness?

We'd love to hear from you here on the forums.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme

I'm on the pension. I do work the allowed hours in dog grooming which is fun & busy.

Apart from that I read, do yoga (I'm a registered teacher) & walk my dachshund ( he's my friend- I talk to him all the time).

I get distressed thinking of the many qualifications I have, which I'm currently unable to use (Master's degree, etc). I love learning & used to enjoy working. My mental health has deteriorated a due to social factors.

I do get deeply sad & and lonely, but the feelings come & go like waves.

Sometimes I'm able to appreciate the extra time I have on my hands to do things I enjoy. Of course the downside is being broke.

Regardless, l dig for the gems in each day! And often they appear right there in the palm of my hand like magic 🎩

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

#peppypatti thanks for sharing about the homelessness story. Sometimes it helps to remember these issues we face ( mental illness, homelessness, family disconnection, physical ailments etc) are widespread.

I did not realise you'd suffered a head injury. Sorry if that's something you'd mentioned previously & I missed it.

Sometimes my PTSD symptoms cause me to rush reading things. I get anxious about making sure to reply & don't concentrate. My psychiatrist says these are classic PTSD traits.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Awwww, that's so special @Lila3 . I love how you framed it in that you dig for gems each day!

I hear how lonely it can be at times, but it sounds like you are also able to find ways to keep yourself busy.

We are so pleased that you connected with us. Hopefully it will make your journey less lonely.

Dog grooming sounds fun!

As for the grief and loss associated with not being able to use your qualifications, maybe it's about allowing yourself to slow down and look after yourself? Do you think so?

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme slowing down & caring for self! I've never considered it that way. We ALL need to be kinder to ourselves. Thank you

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

When things seem out of hand, I always take a step back to look at the bigger picture. I often see that whatever has happened is a good learning for me. So I accept it as that, and that's one way I've learnt to manage the hard knocks in life 🙂 @Lila3

It's truly the school of hard knocks!

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Dear @Lila3

You are so lovely to mention me, thankyou. My partner is my carer, I often say pretty silly things in front of people but he sorts it out.

I don't drive that much anymore. I don't need to do that, the stress of driving is gone.

The hospital forgot about my injury for many years but I still remember when I was about 18 that I went to bed and I lay there and I chose to get better.

Then out of the blue NDIS dropped in my lap. I cried for a long time out of relief.

@Lila3 ide give my sewing machine away to be able to study.

PTSD is very misunderstood.

@Lila3 sweetheart

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