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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Awwwww @Doldip15 ! Thank you thank you and thank you.

That was amazing. I really needed that tonight. I feel like it's been one of 'those days'.

Tonight, my sister asked, "Is it the full moon?" (the children have been behaving off the charts tonight)...

then voila! You post a pic of the moon lol.

Thank you 💜

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Dear @Doldip15

this is beaut.

I will do this as well.

thankyou.



In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Amazing and so serene @PeppyPatti

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thanx @tyme

Thankyou for your attention. You are very insightful with your emails etc......

Can I ask a question ? I forgot to go to gym this week I only go once per week I'm trying to get to once a week but it's like I'm too exhausted to go again. Wtf ?

Why is that ?? Is it my age ?

I feel like iv fallen off the bandwagon in excersise ......

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Lila

@PeppiPatty

@tyme

@Former-Member

Love your posts here and your sharing and it’s so nice to be part of a group of survivors who understand the pain inside, the desire for a better life free of pain and the times of raw disappointment when the pain hits again!
But it’s nice to share the warm fuzzies too! And thanks for the positive input! I realise through these stories, how much I’ve grown as a person and how much the people in these forums have grown and through pain and hardship!
thanks so much to all of you!

and thanks for Snoopy! One of my favourite cartoons!
Loved the Far Side too so I’m going to have to keep trying with photos to see if I can’t upload some favourites to share some laughs occasionally as a laugh got me through some really tough times!
Thanks all!

@Doldip15

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hello @Henry2

I have been reading your posts and your story twigs memories of my second husband when his wife left him and he was so lost! I wonder if you are able to deal with washing and cooking and shopping and the everyday things we take for granted as these things he didn’t know how to do! He would buy packs of 10 pairs of underwear at a time until he had so many undies they could fill the line on their own! The butcher gave him instructions on how to cook roast meat, so roast became his favourite and successful meal! Work his only company! Except for occasional trips to the Casino with a mate! That was excitement for him and how I met him! I was asked to drive him when his mate was not available!

As for your loneliness now, I have been trying to think of ideas for you that are safer than a Casino!
Depending on your age, there’s things like U3A where you can meet people with similar interests to even play cards, learn computer skills, discuss news events, or try a new skill altogether- like Art of some kind! Like me, you can prove you’re not very good. But it’s something to do that’s positive, meeting new people and taking you into an environment where you’re welcome! If you look up council website, it will give you a list of available activities, with and without your dog! If you sign up for one, I find meeting someone with whom you make a connection is more of an accident if you like, not something you can count on, but when it happens, it usually leads to a nice friendship! It’s a matter of joining in with something! I volunteered at the local Community Centre! They value a hand with all sorts of things! Keeps you busy and friendship might come later! It’s taking that frightening step out of the confines of loneliness, into the fear of rejection, and simply being yourself. Tell the person inside your head dictating your fears that you’re trying new things for your self confidence and self esteem and you won’t be controlled by the little voice upstairs that says you won’t be accepted! My husband had a whole little band of elderly women - customers of his business- who made him special cakes, biscuits etc, to “look after him” as he was alone! When he became ill, they all volunteered to move in to care for him and he finally had to acknowledge that he had remarried, fearful of losing his treats! He was also fearful of telling me about these lovely women! And lovely they were! I lost him a long time ago!
So my advice would be to venture out there! One activity at a time! If it’s not for you, try another! There’s walking groups, Park Run (I believe you can walk), card groups, U3A, Council activities, Exercise Groups run by physios to keep older people active, all sorts! So depending on your age group- find one and try it! Just avoid things that might lead to heart ache! You don’t need it when you’re vulnerable! So no on line dating for example! You need time to heal, review your spiritual needs and understand your feelings in relationship before you try for that again too soon! Look after yourself! And keep talking! It really helps!

welcome to the Forums

@Doldip15

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

💟

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@Doldip15 @Henry2 My Dad's been going to U3a & it keeps his mind active. It's pretty social too

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hey @PeppyPatti ,

For me, I only ever pay for a casual visit because I KNOW how uncommitted I am to going.

What I found with exercise is that as soon as you stop, it's so much harder to get started. However, once you get started, you tend to have more energy to continue. That's me anyway.

As much as I don't like exercise, I just make myself go for walks etc. I don't think about it too much. I just put my shoes on and go out because if I think about it for too long, I end up procrastinating and not going.

Another option is to make yourself accountable by going with someone. Once you've made the appointment, it's harder to chicken out of going. Would you go with your partner?

These are just things that worked for me.

Hope you are feeling better today.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Dear @tyme

@cloudcore

@Lila3

@Doldip15

@Former-Member

The good news is that I'll be able to make @Former-Member sausage rolls on Monday.

Thankyou @Doldip15 I have been looking up U3A things to tell my ex husband and actually for myself. Loved, loved your message @Doldip15

I loved reading your @tyme 's message and tips associated.

I completely agree with the gym thing - iv got the coolest - physiotherapist or as I call him -

Professional nagger

at the gym I go in a small group of people and I'm forcing myself outside for 20 minute walk most days.

I'm trying very hard to have the best life because iv heard from 60 to 70 years are supposed to be the best years of your life......

My beloved partner doesn't think exactly like me ( haha ) and he's obsessed with footy. He keeps on speaking ' let's go for a walk in Kings Park- just across the road from us but it doesn't eventuate because he's lazy.

You brought up good ideas - go to gym with someone

Go for walk with my partner

Get motivated

I'm going for a snooze now. I'll def. Go for a walk when wake up.

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